


An Illicit Affair

by yodasizedwriter



Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Broody Carmilla, F/F, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hollstein endgame, Musician Carmilla, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship, not underage but not totally legal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-10-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 14:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 54,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6523804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodasizedwriter/pseuds/yodasizedwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laura Hollis is so going to hell. Unless she ends up going to jail first. Which would definitely be preferable to being murdered by the malevolent principal for falling in love with her daughter.</p><p>-or-</p><p>The teacher/student AU where no one knows what they actually want until they do.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Laura Hollis has never met a challenge she isn't able to overcome. She's also never met Carmilla Karnstein.

Laura Hollis was determined. Ever since middle school there had been plenty of words used to describe her, but determined was undoubtedly among the kindest. Determined had a nice ring to it, Laura thought. And while there were certain members among her peer group over the years who would surely maintain that more negative associations were appropriate to describe her, Laura stuck with determined and it paid off.

Laura knew her determination had gotten her places over the years. High school had been a time of loneliness and even at some- or most- times humiliation, but she stuck to her guns and stuck to her commitments even as gum was stuck to her hair and being class valedictorian at graduation was her reward; even though she knew it was all due to her GPA and had nothing at all to do with her popularity. During university when all of her friends- a loose interpretation of the word, Laura would admit- spent their nights drinking and their summers partying, Laura stayed focused and managed to fast-track a double degree. After three years of that, teacher’s college had been a veritable breeze.

To be sure, there had been stumbling blocks along the way. For instance, apparently graduating top of one’s class out of teacher’s college did not automatically guarantee one a job the coming fall. But, ever determined, Laura refused to spend eight to ten years on a substitute list before securing a full time teaching position. She was going to be a teacher. So she printed off as many resumes as her old printer could spit out before it wheezed its last breath and climbed in her car featuring more rust than paint and began hitting every school she could find within a reasonable distance- read; in the same province- she could think of. Sure, Laura had been laughed out of more offices than she could count, and she was certain roughly seventy-five percent or more of her resumes had landed in the trash as soon as she turned her back. Determination always paid off in the end though.

Two weeks before the school year was set to begin, Laura’s phone rang and on the other end was a frantic and frankly harassed sounding office assistant. Even amidst the yelling- courtesy, Laura assumed, of the principal- Laura got the gist of the phone call; a yearlong contract to cover an emergency maternity leave. Laura had been ecstatic. Leaving her dad behind for longer than one week- summer camp had been a disaster- was the only downfall to her success. An hour and a half long commute every day of the week would be a disaster though, she reasoned with him, and he eventually agreed.

Yes, determination had gotten Laura almost everything she had ever wanted in life. Now, however, Laura knew even her steadfast willpower to always succeed would face its greatest challenge yet- a room full of thirty teenagers.

Having her first ever class be a twelfth grade, advanced placement English class was definitely going to be a test. Even with her undying determination, Laura could admit to herself it wouldn’t be a simple task. Laura knew she probably looked only just as old as all of them- at twenty-three, she had been getting ID’d for four years with no end in sight- and perhaps even younger than the gentleman in the back with an enviable beard for a seventeen year old. But age did not equate knowledge, and Laura knew she knew enough.

From her own experience in high school, Laura knew the key was to be tough enough to establish authority, but not so tough the kids would hate her and challenge her authority right back. She, of course, had been a model student in high school. Model students, however, were far and few between. So Laura was ready for a fight.

So far though, everything had been sailing smoothly. Nearly fifteen minutes into class and nobody had yet laughed at her. They had gone through roll call, where she only mispronounced one name, and all the students seemed genuinely interested when she gave a brief background of herself and, more importantly, her qualifications. Nobody interrupted, nobody was blatantly sleeping or texting and everybody seemed attentive and willing to learn. When she moved on to class rules and expectations, Laura was starting to allow herself to think maybe she had a good class. Still though, Laura needed a way to demonstrate her authority. The students needed to know she was cool and approachable, yet could still lead with an iron fist if needed.

Thus conditioned, when the door to her classroom opened twenty minutes late, Laura whirled around, ready to confront the newcomer about the merits of promptness and what would happen upon continued tardiness. Laura whirled around and, for the first time in her life, was rendered absolutely speechless.

Standing in the doorway to the room was a girl- no, woman- of such incredible beauty all Laura could do was stare. Laura’s gaze drifted uncontrollably from dark, mysterious eyes to a shirt cut so low and so revealing it definitely shattered the dress code to black leather pants which clung temptingly in all the right places. This surely could be no student; the newcomer looked twenty at least. Yet as Laura’s eyes travelled back up the telltale strap of a backpack was slung carelessly over one shoulder. It was the amused smirk on luscious red lips which snapped Laura back to reality once her eyes made their way back to appropriate locations.

Clearing her throat and squaring her shoulders, Laura prepared for her demonstration of will. “Entering a room without knocking first is a severely poor showing of manners.”

The dark haired girl’s lips twitched. “My apologies,” she said, sounding amused rather than anything else. “Should I go back out and knock?”

“Not necessary,” Laura said sharply, trying to ignore the way dark eyes stayed focused on her lips. “Since today is the first day, I’m willing to ignore the fact you’re late. But if this happens again, you can expect detention.”

“As long as it’s detention with you, I don’t think I’ll mind that, Teach.” 

Laura’s mouth fell open. There was no denying the suggestive nature of the girl’s tone and based on the titters she could hear around the room, it was not only Laura who picked up on it. Laura felt a curious surge of something resembling loathing toward the stranger in front of her. Who was she to undermine a teacher? Who exactly did she think she was?

“You may call me Miss Hollis.” The girl began to speak, surely to come out with another severely inappropriate comment, but this time Laura cut her off. “You will stop disrupting my class, or else detention will seem tame.” This time the snickers were directed at the opposite party and not Laura. “Now please take a seat, Miss...” Laura trailed off, realizing she hadn’t gotten the girl’s name yet.

“Carmilla,” she supplied, strutting over to the only free desk right at the front of the room. “Carmilla Karnstein.”

With her plan of action thoroughly destroyed, Laura tried valiantly to continue on with her lesson as planned. All in all, Laura thought she did a fairly good job staying focused when her thoughts were a whirling mess in her brain. Of all the things which could’ve gone wrong on her first day, it was just her luck to have a confrontation with the principal’s clearly rebellious daughter.

\---

By the time her lunch break rolled around, Laura was so anxious she pretty much sprinted to the staffroom. She needed intel, and she needed it fast.

After spending thirty minutes watching Carmilla Karnstein text, pop chewing gum loudly and basically blatantly ignore and disrespect the rules of the classroom, Laura was fit to be tied. No matter how many pointed remarks she made about no phone use in class, Carmilla continued to do her own thing. The problem was Laura was too scared to do much of anything about it. The goal of this year was to show the principal it would be a mistake to not hire her full time. So getting on the bad side of said principal’s daughter would likely not be advantageous to Laura’s quest.

It wasn’t until her third class of the day- a grade nine class of kids so tiny and cute Laura couldn’t really believe they were actually in high school- that Laura realized maybe she had overreacted a little bit. Just because Carmilla shared the same last name with the principal, didn’t mean they had to be related. Sure the name Karnstein didn’t seem all too common, but Laura had lived with her dad in the same house in the same quiet neighbourhood for twenty-three years. It was possible there were a million Karnstein’s in Canada and Laura simply hadn’t met them. But even if Carmilla was related to the principal, it could be as a niece or distant cousin- a much less volatile relationship than daughter. Either way though, Laura needed to know. Carmilla’s name was also on her class list for seventh period Creative Writing- a class which formerly Laura had been very excited to teach.

Entering the staffroom, Laura felt a few long seconds of anxiety before she saw Danny waving to her enthusiastically with a bright smile. Laura made her way over to her newest friend with a grin. During the week Laura had to orient herself to school, most of the other faculty members she encountered greeted Laura with either barely concealed doubt or outright amusement. Danny had been essentially the only exception to the rule.

Danny Lawrence was a biology teacher entering only her third year of teaching, making her almost as green as Laura. She also coached the varsity girl’s volleyball team and ran the Summer Society, of which Laura was still a little vague on the details. Danny was outgoing and affable, and had made Laura feel at home right away.

“Hey Laura,” Danny greeted as she sat down across from her. “How’s the first day going?”

“Not bad, all things considered,” Laura replied. She unwrapped her sloppily put together peanut butter and jelly sandwich somewhat sheepishly as she regarded Danny’s delicious looking and most likely healthy salad. Laura had never had to cook for herself as she always lived at home, so she was still getting used to some of the finer points of culinary competence.

“That’s awesome!” Danny gushed. “My first day was definitely an unmitigated disaster. It turned out alright in the end though, it always does.”

Laura was just about to ask Danny about Carmilla when a muscled figure plopped down in the seat beside the redhead. 

“What’s up Little Hottie, Summer Psycho?” Kirsch grinned. Danny grimaced.

Wilson Kirsch- always Kirsch, never Wilson- was one of the physical education teachers at Silas. He was, so far as Laura was able to tell, fairly harmless aside from a propensity to flirt with everything and anything that moved. He coached both football and hockey, and the club he ran- the Zetas- was always in constant competition with Danny’s Summer Society. The two were huge rivals, but also seemed to be able to work it out into some sort of weirdly verbally abusive friendship. 

“C’mon it’s the first day Wilson,” Danny said and Kirsch frowned at the use of his clearly hated first name. “Can’t you go bother someone else for at least today? Like maybe a hungry pack of lions?”

“Whatever Summer Psycho. You’re probably just jealous of my extremely good looks.”

Danny pretended to gag. Laura normally would’ve been content to sit there and watch their bantering back and forth like a tennis match, but today she had other things on her mind. Not the least of which was the deal with a certain leather wearing, rule breaking student.

“Hey guys, can I ask you a question?” Both Danny and Kirsch looked eager to help- and likely for the chance to one up the other as well- so Laura continued. “What can you tell me about Carmilla Karnstein?”

Kirsch burst out laughing, spewing half chewed ham sub all over the table in front of him. “Oh man, don’t tell me you’ve run into the evil spawn of Satan on day one? That’s rough Little Hottie,” he said, still guffawing.

Danny looked momentarily disgusted at Kirsch’s literal outburst, before turning back to Laura and schooling her features into genuine sympathy. “You had the bad luck to get Karnstein in your class?”

Laura nodded. “What’s the deal with her?”

“If only we knew,” Kirsch said, shaking his head gravely.

“What the man-child over here means is that Carmilla Karnstein has been the school’s enigma since her freshman year. Luckily we’ve only had the misfortune of knowing her personally for the past couple of years, but the horror stories never end.”

“And is she related...”

“To the principal?” Danny supplied before Laura could finish. “Oh yeah. Principal’s daughter. At least her brother Will only struts around the school like he owns the place. Arrogance is much better than evil.”

Laura laughed in spite of herself. “She can’t really be that bad, can she?”

Both Kirsch and Danny were nodding this time. “She’ll do anything to push the boundaries,” Danny said. “I couldn’t even tell you how many times I went home crying because of her. As a first year teacher, it was pretty tough to deal with.”

“She’s the worst,” Kirsch added. “One time the entire offensive line’s jockstraps were filled with chilli powder. It was never proven it was her, but everybody knows.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that!” Danny exclaimed. “Do you remember that one girl she picked on so badly she ended up moving away just because of Carmilla?”

Kirsch and Danny- their adversity momentarily placed aside- continued to swap horror stories about Carmilla, each one worse than the last. Laura was having a hard time believing someone could be so bad though. Surely most of the tales had to be stretching the truth, especially the ones which went way beyond school rule breaking and nearly into the territory of illegality. What really got her, however, was Danny. In the short time Laura had known the girl, Danny had never been anything but cheery except for when she was verbally sparring Kirsch in a playfully competitive manner. But talking about Carmilla had made Danny practically foam at the mouth. Still though, she didn’t want to think of Carmilla as inherently mean spirited. Maybe the teen had made a bad first impression of her, but Laura still thought teachers should remain unbiased in their opinions of their students until insurmountable evidence proved otherwise.

“Maybe she’ll tone it down a notch this year though,” Danny continued, breaking Laura out of her mini reverie. “I mean after last year...that’s gotta knock anyone down a few pegs.”

“What happened last year?” Laura asked curiously.

Kirsch grinned and he leaned in closer, speaking in a conspiratorial whisper. “Well nobody really knows for sure but...” he trailed off, leaning in even further. “The year starts off normally, right? Carmilla’s her usual terrifying self, and all the staff are just grateful they only have to make it through one last year of her. And then all of a sudden in October...boom. She just disappeared.”

Laura looked at Danny disbelievingly, but the redheaded girl was nodding in agreement. “Nobody knows where she went or why. It was like she just dropped off the face of the Earth.”

“Maybe she was sick or something,” Laura suggested.

Danny shook her head. “Everybody knows and notices the infamous Carmilla Karnstein. Trust me Laura, she was gone.”

“So anyway,” Kirsch continues. “There’s like five awesome Carmilla free months and then all of a sudden at the start of May she comes back. She never came back to school, but she was definitely back in the city again.”

“And neither of you have any idea why she disappeared?” Laura pressed.

“No way dude,” Kirsch said. “I mean there’s totally rumours going around though. Some people think she got sent to juvie for something like assault.”

“I heard Principal Karnstein sent Carmilla away to boot camp after she found drugs in her room. But that’s just hearsay.” Danny straightened up. “We really shouldn’t be gossiping about it, however. Leave that to the kids.”

“It’s gotta suck though,” Kirsch continued. “I mean to not graduate with all your friends has to kinda blow.”

“What friends? There’s no way she ever had any friends.”

“Oh come on Summer Psycho, everyone has some friends- even you have friends! And even if she didn’t have friends...I mean she’s totally hot. She had to at least have friends if you catch my drift,” he finished with a wink.

“Kirsch that’s disgusting. And illegal.”

“What? She’s totally eighteen now it’s not that illegal. Plus all I said was she’s a hottie. A dude’s gotta look.”

Danny looked ready to fire off a retort, but Laura once again had more important matters than watching an all out Danny versus Kirsch battle for dominance. “So what do you suggest to, you know, keep her in line?”

“Holy water,” Kirsch said without missing a beat. Danny socked him in the shoulder. “Ow! Hey why are you always trying to hurt me?”

Danny rolled her eyes. “That didn’t hurt you big baby. But seriously Laura.” She gave Laura a small smile. “She’s bound to be loads better this year. She’s an adult still in high school who hasn’t graduated yet. And even if that doesn’t deflate her ego a bit, just use the tough love approach.”

“More like all tough and no love from you Psych Society,” Kirsch muttered, and instantly he and Danny were back to their bickering.

Laura stayed silent for the most part until her lunch break was over, mulling over the things she had learned about one Carmilla Karnstein. She was a little terrified to go head to head with the girl again at the end of the day, but there was also a definite part of her which was a little bit intrigued. Maybe it was the small part of her which had never completely let go of the dream of being a journalist, but Laura was convinced there was a real story behind the rumours, and she would be sure to uncover it. However first, she had to survive what she had been warned would be quite the battle of wills with Carmilla. Maybe Danny was right though. Maybe Carmilla wouldn’t be so bad this year after whatever had happened previously.

As Laura made her way back to her classroom after splitting from Danny at the stairwell, she caught sight of something outside through a window at the end of the hallway. There, sitting in the middle of quad on top of a picnic table like she owned it, was Carmilla Karnstein, puffing away on a cigarette and not getting in trouble for it despite the clear rules about smoking being prohibited on school grounds. Laura sighed. Then again, surviving a battle of wills with the dark haired teen might not be so easy after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura kind of succeeds at being an adult. And Carmilla totally succeeds at getting under her teacher's skin.

Laura stumbled tiredly into her classroom, barely remembering to reach up and flick on the light switch as she passed it. She yawned widely as she made her way to her desk at the front of the room, collapsing into her chair behind it and dropping her heavy bags to the floor with a sigh of relief. She hadn’t really believed people before when they told her holding down a fulltime job would be the most exhausting thing she would ever do, but she was definitely starting to believe it now. Teaching all day, every day, and then going home and drawing up lesson plans and marking schemes was draining her.

Her weariness wasn’t all due to the teaching though. Honestly, she was already in love with teaching even after only one week of it. But taking this job had also meant moving out, which meant adulthood hitting her suddenly like an anvil over the head. Laura hadn’t had to move out for university or even teacher’s college. And her dad always made sure she would want for nothing. She had never had to worry about paying bills and rent, cooking, cleaning, laundry or anything else. Sure, she’d do household chores to help her dad out, but it had never been solely her responsibility. Over the past couple of weeks Laura had been thrust into the world of adult responsibility, and she wasn’t entirely sure she liked it.

Of course, another factor in her exhaustion at the end of her first real week of teaching was the ever annoying thorn in her side known as Carmilla Karnstein. Though she didn’t find the girl as vindictive or nasty as Danny and Kirsch would have had her believe, there was no denying Carmilla presented a challenge she hadn’t yet figured out how to handle. If she wasn’t texting in class, then she was sleeping. If she wasn’t sleeping then she was speaking out of turn, interrupting Laura’s lectures with witty- read; inappropriate- commentary and belittling her classmates when they attempted to participate in any discussions. Carmilla was annoying and infuriating, and to make matters worse Laura had no idea how to gain the upper hand when Carmilla was the daughter of the very same principal whom she was trying so hard to impress.

“Hey Laura!” Laura started and nearly fell out of her chair, not realizing she had been nodding off until a cheery voice woke her. She looked around confusedly for a second before seeing Danny standing in the doorway.

“Oh Danny, hey!” Laura greeted, trying to wake herself up.

Danny walked into the room. “Rough first week?” she asked sympathetically. She pulled a chair up to sit beside Laura.

“Not really...well, a little rough I guess. Mostly it’s just been a bit tough adjusting.”

“I get that,” Danny nodded. “New apartment, new city, new routine...I’ve been there before. It just takes some time but you’ll make it.” They shared a smile. Laura appreciated Danny’s supportiveness. “So I checked out all the extracurricular opportunities like you had asked.”

Seeing as her contract was only a year long- and she had come into her teaching position through the back door, no less- Laura was looking for any ways possible she could try to impress the faculty. At the top of her list were the extracurriculars. Coaching a team or running clubs could only earn points in her favour, so Laura was anxious to find something which might work. Not that she wanted to spend all of her spare time at school, but showing initiative could only lead to good things.

“Thanks so much Danny!” Laura gushed. She felt a rush of fondness for the taller teacher.

“Don’t thank me yet,” Danny said, grimacing. She reached behind her and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of her back pocket. “There’s really not that much available. Most of the teams and clubs and stuff are pretty well established, you know?”

Laura nodded. It was disappointing news, but not really so unexpected. Being the new kid on the block was bound to have its downfalls. Laura guessed any spots which were left open would also basically suck.

“The swim team is looking for an assistant coach, but I’d recommend you stay away from there unless you enjoy seeing a fifty year old man with a beer belly in a Speedo daily.” Laura grimaced this time, really not needing that particular visual. “The only other coaching spot is for girls basketball, but I guess that really wouldn’t work out too well for you.”

“Hey!” Laura pouted. “How do you know I wasn’t an all-star basketball player in my high school years?” 

Danny raised an eyebrow and looked at Laura pointedly. “Laura. Are you even five feet tall?”

“That is a very judgemental and stereotypical point of view. Physical dimensions have little to no bearing on one’s prowess in sport.” Laura paused. “However, you’re basically right. I’ve always sucked at basketball.” Another pause. “And I’m five foot two, for your information.”

Danny laughed, and Laura took a moment to appreciate it. Danny had a very nice laugh. “Noted,” she said. “There’s a few clubs looking for someone to run them though. There’s the chess club.” Laura wrinkled her nose. “The history club.” Laura shook her head quickly. “The horticultural club?” Danny suggested, but Laura knew that would be hopeless. “Well...the only one left besides those ones is the Rainbow Club.”

Laura raised her eyebrows. “The Rainbow Club?” she questioned. “As in a club for...”

“The inclusiveness of any and all LGBTQ-plus members and supporters at our school,” Danny finished, nodding. “Don’t judge it by its name- I know it’s cheesy. But our principal would die if they used a name which included any words like gay or queer or trans and we can’t afford to have this club cut from the agenda. There’s some kids who really, really need it to hang around, and I totally would do it myself but I’m already so busy with the team and the Summer’s and...”

“Okay, okay!” Laura cut Danny off, laughing. “Nervous rambling is supposed to be my thing, isn’t it?” Danny chuckled. “I’ll run it,” she said with a smile. “It sounds like a great initiative.”

“It really is. I think the kids will really love you,” Danny said with a genuinely warm smile. “Oh, I almost forgot! There’s one more thing. They’re looking for someone to supervise detention every other day.”

Laura wrinkled her nose. For some reason, staying at school late to make sure a bunch of kids who already didn’t want to be there were forced to stay even later didn’t strike her as all that much fun. Danny seemed to notice her hesitancy.

“It’s really not that bad, Laura,” she said convincingly. “It’s pretty much an extra hour after the day is done to catch up on your marking and stuff. Easy.”

“Alright, I guess I could do that too,” Laura agreed.

“Super!” Danny grinned. “I can let everyone know for you; make it all official.”

Laura smiled and thanked Danny again. She was grateful she had managed to make such a good friend in such a short time. When she had come to the staff orientation day, nobody had given her the time of day until Danny came over to strike up a conversation. By extension, she had then met Kirsch and suddenly the new city didn’t seem so lonely or daunting. She knew she was lucky to have someone like Danny in her corner. She wondered how much better and less lonely high school would have been if she had met Danny only a few years earlier.

“Um, hey Laura,” Danny started quietly, hesitantly. “Do you think you would maybe wanna come out for some drinks tonight? I mean...it’s a group thing, obviously,” Danny rushed. “Some of us are going out to celebrate surviving the first week. I just thought maybe it would be cool if you were there.”

Laura looked down at the floor, biting her lip. Even if Danny made it sound like a group thing, somehow Laura knew it meant more to her than that. One of the other descriptors she had earned in high school was that of ‘oblivious’. But Laura had been anything but oblivious to the looks Danny had been casting her and the clear something which was blossoming between them. Laura was unsure, however, if she really wanted that something to potentially turn into something bigger and stronger. Danny was one of the first real, genuine friends Laura had made in a long time. She didn’t want to ruin that. At the same time, if it was a group outing, it could be the perfect trial to see if she reciprocated Danny’s feelings without the pressure of one on one time.

“Sure Danny,” Laura said finally. She looked up and smiled. “That sounds like a lot of fun actually.”

“Cool,” Danny breathed in relief, smiling wide. “Um...I should get your number. That way I could send you details.”

After finally figuring out how to put her number in Danny’s fancy Windows phone- cell phone technology beyond that of a simple flip phone was only just new to her and not treating her all too kindly- the bell was set to ring any minute and Danny had to rush up to the third floor to get ready for her class. Laura used her little remaining time to try and quickly organize her papers and her lesson plans by period. She also tried to control the excited flush she could feel painting her cheeks. Uncertain about relationships or not, Laura couldn’t deny how blissfully exhilarating it felt to be asked out on a date- even if it was more or less a date with the training wheels still on.

When her twelfth grade, AP English class had finally settled down after opening announcements, Laura began to explain her plan. Recalling her own not so long ago days of high school, Laura knew she had always preferred numerous light assignments to only just a few, much more heavily weighted assignments. There was always so much pressure if you knew a quarter of your mark rested on the shoulders of one essay or one group presentation.

“I would like you guys to split up into groups of three or four,” Laura said. She was rather amazed at how quickly her confidence had built in regards to speaking in front of a group. Public speaking had never been her strong suit, but in her own humble opinion she was now nailing it. “Please think carefully about who you want in your group. These groups will remain consistent for projects throughout the entire year. Individual marks will only be adjusted under extenuating circumstances. So don’t choose to work with people you might not be able to work well with. Once you have your group, come up and let me know.”

The class began to pair off, and Laura began writing down partnerships. She had briefly wondered whether it would be better to just assign groups, but decided these students were old enough to live or die by their own sword. A nagging thought in the back of her mind had also been concerned with a certain student who wasn’t currently present. Although it was horrible of her to be prejudiced, Laura was wary of bringing down a group by putting Carmilla with them. It was clear she was not the only one, though. Almost the entire class had a group, but no one had thought to include the absent principal’s daughter. For the first time, she also felt something other than irritation with the teen. It had to be lonely being Carmilla. Laura felt a rush of sadness for her.

“Miss H?” A questioning voice brought Laura out of her musings, and she looked up to see LaFontaine sitting at their desk- right beside Carmilla’s empty one- with their hand raised.

“Yes LaFontaine?” They had been very specific on the first class for Laura to refer to them by their last name only, and Laura knew it wasn’t for the same reasons as their best friend Perry. 

“You can put Carmilla with me, Perry and J.P. if you want. I know she still needs a group.”

Laura smiled. LaFontaine may have gotten into quite the heated discussion during Wednesday’s class about the misappropriation of school funds not being used to provide healthy cafeteria foods- a complete detour from the discussion they were supposed to be having on Shakespeare- but they were also clearly thoughtful. Laura appreciated their effort, but she still had her doubts.

“Are you sure LaFontaine?” she asked. “I know Miss Karnstein can be quite a...handful,” Laura finished rather lamely. If she finished that particular statement with the true feelings she had towards Carmilla after one week of knowing her, it could very well have her fired.

“It’s cool Miss H,” LaFontaine said with a shrug. They looked genuinely unconcerned, but to Lafontaine’s left Perry was determinedly avoiding eye contact and just behind them J.P.’s expression had turned frosty.

“Well thank you very much you three. I’m sure Miss Karnstein will appreciate the thought.”

Laura picked up her pen to write down the final grouping when the door burst open, slammed against the wall, and Carmilla strutted to her seat in all her glory. The dark haired teen sat down and leisurely kicked her boot clad feet up onto the wooden surface of desk. She leaned back in her chair, pushing her shiny aviators up high on her forehead where they nestled into her dark curls. Then, as if the picture of nonchalance wasn’t already complete, Carmilla pulled her fancy smartphone out of her bag and immediately began to text or surf or whatever else it was she did on that thing literally all day, every day.

“You’re late again, Miss Karnstein,” Laura said in what she hoped was a stern, authoritative voice. “That’s the third time this week...and we’ve only had three classes!”

Carmilla shrugged, not looking up from her phone. “Yeah...sorry or whatever, Teach.”

Laura bristled. No sincere apology, no explanation- Carmilla Karnstein seemed to think she was incredibly above reproach. Unfortunately Laura could think of no good consequences without also getting herself in trouble with the principal.

“This habit will not continue, or you’ll find yourself facing severe consequences.”

“I’ll hold my breath,” Carmilla smirked, finally looking up from her phone. Those dark, captivating, mysterious eyes seemed to hold a challenge within them. Laura wanted to retort, she wanted to make a good comeback to clarify just exactly who was in charge, but she couldn’t do so. Her frustration must have shown, because Carmilla’s smirk grew. Letting out an angry sigh, Laura turned to the whiteboard to get start an introduction to Hamlet. One day, one way or another, she was going to figure out how to make Carmilla respect her, come hell or Hogwarts. 

\---

Even though she was twenty-three, Laura had never really been to a bar before. During her undergrad, she was too busy juggling a heavy caseload to accept any invitations for socializing- not that many ever came her way anyway. Added to that were the lectures from her dad about the clear dangers of bars and clubs. So as Laura walked through the doors of the Alchemy Bar and into an already rowdy Friday night crowd, she felt her uncertainty and social awkwardness skyrocket. She was the type of girl who would much rather spend her Friday nights watching Dr Who reruns or binging Orange is the New Black on Netflix. The whole social thing never really seemed like a good idea to her. 

Laura thought her best plan of action would be to show up a few minutes late. Not too late, mind- her dad had always instilled in her that promptness was akin to professionalism and likability. Being on time was the mark of a responsible, dedicated person. But she figured showing up five or ten minutes late wouldn’t be late enough to make a negative first impression, but it would ensure she wouldn’t be the awkward first one to arrive to a new bar, in a new city, meeting new people. Of course, as luck would have it, Laura had ended up arriving at Alchemy over twenty minutes early. She had no idea where to head or what to do. Killing time sounded easy enough in theory, but killing time in a bar added a whole new dimension to things.

Squaring her shoulders and trying to look confident, Laura walked over to the bar. She figured that would be a logical place to spend twenty minutes. The barstools were so high she had to pretty much hop up onto one, and her feet came nowhere near to touching the floor, but once she was up there she figured she blended in with the crowd an acceptable amount.

“Can I get you something?” Laura started when a handsome, vaguely familiar looking bartender addressed her. Seeing as she had never been to a bar, and also seeing as she had an overprotective dad, Laura’s experience with alcohol was minimal at best, so she didn’t exactly know proper drink ordering etiquette- or even what to order.

“Uh...I’ll have a...cooler?” It came out as more of a question than a statement, and the bartender grinned.

“I’ll have to see your ID first, if you don’t mind.” Laura nodded, expecting nothing less. She pulled her ID out of her purse and handed it to the man, who examined it carefully. “Alright, thanks. No offense, but you don’t look a day over sixteen.”

The man left to get her drink- Laura assumed she had been correct in her attempt to order an alcoholic beverage- and Laura was left alone again. She used the time to take in the rather large crowd. The bar wasn’t tiny, but it certainly wasn’t overly large. She wondered if it was this busy all the time. Down at the far end was an empty, tiny stage overlooking what appeared to be an equally tiny dance floor. Nobody was really dancing though, despite the fact there was actually music playing over the speakers. At the other end of the bar, where Laura sat, a bank of TV’s was showing various sporting events. 

“Here ya go, sweetheart.” Laura turned back to see the bartender back with a bottle in hand. He slid it across the smooth surface of the bar to her. “That’ll be six. Do you want me to start a tab for you?”

Laura had no idea what a tab was. “Uh, no,” she said quickly. She pulled a five and a toonie out of her wallet. “Here. You can, um, keep the change,” she mumbled. She had no real idea how one was supposed to tip.

The bartender simply grinned- which again looked charming and incredibly familiar to her- and took the money. Relieved she had done at least one thing right, Laura picked up the bottle and took a sip. It was definitely fizzy, with a hint of sweetness but also a bit of an aftertaste she wasn’t overly fond of. At least it was drinkable, and Laura began to feel a little less out of place once she had the drink in her hand. She relaxed a little bit.

“Hey, hey crazy Alchemists!” Laura jumped violently and almost fell off her stool as a voice suddenly boomed through the speakers. She could see the bartender chuckling out of the corner of her eye, but ignored him in favour of trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. Finally Laura spied a figure up on the stage, standing under bright lights and holding a microphone in hand. “I am so glad y’all could join us this evening!” Whoever the man was, he had a twangy accent, and Laura hoped sincerely that Danny hadn’t dragged her out to a country and western themed bar.

“Y’all are so lucky to be here today. Over the summer, we discovered quite the incredible talent here at Alchemy. She charmed our hearts with every note she sang.” The man paused and smiled. “Please welcome our newest star...our singing seductress...our beautiful, enchanting...Mircalla!”

Laura almost fell off the stool again as Carmilla Karnstein strolled out onto the stage, casually and confidently, guitar in hand. She made her way to the microphone front and centre, adjusting its height a bit before regarding the crowd and giving them a sultry smile.

“Hey there,” she said, and Laura almost melted. Somehow Carmilla’s voice sounded different than it did at school. It was low and smooth and utterly charming. “Hope you guys are ready for this. I’ve got a little something special planned for tonight,” she finished with a wink, and Laura felt herself swoon. Judging by the sounds coming from the rest of the crowd, she wasn’t the only one.

When Carmilla began to sing, Laura immediately lost herself. She forgot that Carmilla was the single most annoying person she had ever met on the face of the planet. She forgot that she was supposed to be meeting Danny at any moment for a pseudo group date. She forgot that Carmilla Karnstein was her student. Laura was completely incapable of forming a single coherent thought once Carmilla began singing. She got lost in the lyrics and in the smooth sultriness of Carmilla’s voice. She got lost in Carmilla’s eyes under the stage lights; still dark and mysterious, but somehow also sparkling with emotion which Laura had never before seen from the teen. Laura was lost in the magnificence of Carmilla.

Somehow without really planning it, Laura found herself off her barstool and on the very edge of the crowd. They were pressing forward, all trying to get as close to the amazing singer as possible. Male and female alike just wanted to be near her, to have her gaze fall onto them. And Laura wanted that too. Mindlessly, she slipped into the crowd. She weaved through the mass of bodies, making her way closer and closer to the stage. She wanted to be close to Carmilla. She wanted to have Carmilla singing to her and only her. She wanted to...

An insistent vibration against her thigh snapped Laura from her trance. Realizing finally where she was and, more importantly, who she was gaping lustfully at, Laura’s mouth fell open in horror before she turned on her heel and hightailed it as far away from the stage as possible. She pulled out her phone to see a text from Danny saying they were waiting for her out on the back patio. Ignoring the half confused half amused look from the bartender, Laura booked it out towards the back of the bar, trying also very hard to ignore the singing from behind her. But it wasn’t easy. Carmilla’s voice had gotten to Laura. It had touched her somehow. And more than anything, it scared her.

\---

Laura closed her eyes and rubbed her temples wearily. Monday’s had never been her favourite day of the week, but today was much worse than normal. Her old, tired rust bucket of a car breaking down on her drive in certainly hadn’t helped matters. But the real culprit was the lack of sleep she had gotten over the weekend. And it was all due to one Carmilla Karnstein.

Laura couldn’t get the annoying teen’s amazing performance and obvious talent out of her head. She had the song Carmilla had sung stuck in her head all weekend. Even worse, however, was the fact that every single time she closed her eyes the only thing she could see was Carmilla under the stage lights looking beautiful and seductive and oh so inappropriately attractive. Glad at least the day was almost over, Laura opened her eyes once again only to meet the gaze of the bane of existence.

“Rough day there, Teach?” Carmilla asked, one eyebrow quirked. Her tone could have almost been mistaken for concern, if not for the clear note of sarcasm thinly veiled underneath. Laura frowned.

All in all, it had been a rather good day in regards to Carmilla and her rebelliousness. She hadn’t made a single person cry in either of the two classes she had with Laura, although she had slept rather obviously on her desk for all but about five minutes. Laura had only allowed it because she didn’t think she’d be able to hide the blush if she had Carmilla staring at her from four feet away for an hour at a time.

“Why are you still here Miss Karnstein?” Laura asked, ignoring Carmilla’s rather weak attempt at small talk. “Aren’t you usually the first one out the door at the end of the day?”

“Maybe I just wanted to spend some quality alone time with my favourite teacher,” Carmilla said with a wink. Laura willed herself not to blush, she really did, but she knew from Carmilla’s triumphant smirk she had not succeeded in the slightest.

“That is wildly inappropriate Miss Karnstein!” Laura snapped harshly. Carmilla’s eyes widened slightly and she could tell the girl was taken aback. No matter how exasperated Laura ever became with the girl, she had never used that tone of voice before.

“Calm down Teach, jeez.” Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled a crumpled yellow strip of paper out of the pocket of her tight, ripped jeans. “I’m here for detention, so you can just relax.”

Carmilla tossed the paper in her general direction, and Laura pinned it against the wooden surface of her desk under her palm. She lifted it, turning it over so she could see what was written there. She recognized Danny’s tiny yet neat script almost immediately. In the space available for writing the reasons for giving detention, the biology teacher had written, ‘Deliberately disrupting class’. Somehow Laura thought that might be an understatement.

“You believe me now?” Carmilla asked before frowning slightly. “Not that I deserve to be here. Your girlfriend’s had it in for me for years.”

“What?” Laura sputtered. “Danny...Miss Lawrence is not my girlfriend!” she exclaimed vehemently. “Not that I think there’s anything wrong with that, mind you! I’m not homophobic. In fact, I’m running the Rainbow Club this year. But for you to suggest...that is so inappropriate! You can’t make comments like that to a teacher, Miss Karnstein!”

Carmilla was watching Laura with amusement. “Do you have no chill?” she asked. “Seriously it was a joke. No need to go all spaz attack on me.”

Laura had opened her mouth to retort- and likely also start a completely pointless but oh so satisfying argument with the bothersome teen- but was saved by the door to her classroom opening and two boys who looked like they couldn’t wait to go smoke pot walking in and handing her their detention slips. The hour long detention period passed quickly and, thankfully, quietly. Laura had stated at the very beginning that she expected silence, and for some reason even Carmilla was obeying. That may have been due to the fact she had fallen asleep mere minutes after detention had officially started, but Laura wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. A silent Carmilla was a survivable Carmilla.

When Laura announced the end of detention, the two boys sprang up from their seats and bolted from the room. But Carmilla lingered, making a show of slowly arranging her books- which Laura reckoned hadn’t even been opened once- in her book bag. Then she stood up and stretched leisurely, making her already too short black shirt ride up and expose a toned, creamy abdomen. Laura was quick to avert her eyes, but she could still feel the blush colouring her cheeks. 

“Have a good night, Teach,” Carmilla said finally, and Laura looked up quickly, surprised at the unexpected display of manners.

“Goodnight, Miss Karnstein,” Laura replied, giving the girl a rare genuine smile.

Carmilla walked toward the door. When she was right in the doorway, she paused and turned around. “Oh, and hey Teach?” she got Laura’s attention. “I’m performing again this Friday, since you enjoyed the show so much last week. Although, I would recommend a private show. I can be very entertaining one on one. See you around, Cutie.”

And with that, Carmilla was gone and Laura was left to drop her very hot and very red face into her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left comments/kudos for the last chapter! Can't deny how nervous I was to actually, finally post something again. It's taken months to convince myself. Going to try to stick to an update every 5-7 days for you guys.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla hates biology, hates school, and hates being psychoanalyzed.
> 
> (Warning- very minor misgendering midway. Language at end of chapter).

Carmilla knew she was supposed to be focusing on the conversation taking place around her, but it was just so incredibly boring. She could come up with probably close to a hundred different things she’d rather be doing than discussing a dry Shakespeare play with the geek-squad. Included among those things she’d rather be doing was eyeing up the hot brunette at the table adjacent to her own, trying to figure out what grade she was in. If she was a senior, then Carmilla was positive a little flirting and maybe a little making out wouldn’t be turned down.

It was a not so subtle kick on the shins which finally brought Carmilla back to the present, and she scowled at Lafontaine. The redheaded bio lover was sitting across from her, trying to look innocent and failing immensely. Lafontaine glanced at Carmilla, giving a little jerk with their head to indicate she had to focus on the conversation. With a sigh, Carmilla refocused her attention.

“I think we should focus on the sighting of the ghost for this paper,” Perry was saying to J.P. when Carmilla finally tuned in. “It has to have some sort of symbolic meaning.”

“Yeah, but don’t you think every single group will be focusing on the ghost?” J.P. countered. “I mean, we’re barely into the play. There’s hardly anything to write a paper other than the ghost. It seems much too obvious for my tastes.”

“Well then, what do you suggest we write about?”

“I don’t know quite yet, but that’s why we’re meeting here today, isn’t it? I thought the point of meeting in the library was to discuss what we’ve thus far read of Hamlet and brainstorm ideas of what to write about.”

“I just did brainstorm an idea! We can write about the first sighting of the ghost!”

“Or ya know, we could just use one of the papers I turned in last year,” Carmilla interjected. She was not at all interested in actually contributing to the group’s efforts, but she did have a vested interest in avoiding being present for an argument between the mother hen and the tech nerd. She also really wanted to not give up more of her lunch break than was absolutely necessary, so it couldn’t hurt to speed up the process a bit. “I’ve already read Hamlet. I got you covered.”

Carmilla’s suggestion did stall the argument, but it also greeted her with looks from J.P. and Perry which bordered on disgusted. Laf was smiling, and looked like they were ready to at the very least let Carmilla down softly, but Perry unfortunately got there first.

“What you’re talking about is plagiarism,” Perry hissed. “I am trying to get into Oxford. I will not have my academic record permanently tarnished because you are too lazy to put any effort into anything!”

Carmilla opened her mouth to retort- there really was no love lost between Carmilla and two thirds of the geek-squad- but luckily for Perry, Lafontaine jumped in before anything could escalate.

“I think what Carm means is that we could use one of her ideas from last year,” they suggested. “Not just hand in a paper already written. We could just build off of something we know is acceptable.”

Perry sniffed. “Fine. I guess if that’s all you really meant than I owe you an apology.”

Carmilla snorted. She absolutely loved it when people said something along those lines, but then conveniently forgot to actually add in the word ‘sorry’. She wanted to retort in kind, but a stern look from Lafontaine deterred her. Lafontaine was the only person left in the whole school who Carmilla could somewhat stand- and also important, they didn’t treat Carmilla like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of their shoe- so she didn’t really want to alienate them by pissing off their best friend since childhood. So Carmilla forced a fake smile slash grimace onto her face and let the subject drop.

“So what topic did you pick for your paper anyway?” J.P. asked, not quite meeting her eyes. Carmilla knew J.P. was, like most of the school, quite scared of her. But that didn’t stop his smarmy tone of voice. It made her frown. She might be able to stand Perry for Lafontaine’s sake, but J.P. was another matter.

“I wrote about how the cultural influences of the time- most notably the misogynistic and male empowering societal norms which deemed a woman in power incapable of ruling without male assistance- contributed to the Queen’s desire to remarry so quickly following the King’s death.” Carmilla’s mini speech was greeted with two stares of disbelief and one wide grin. “I hate school,” she continued, standing up and grabbing her bag. “I never said I wasn’t good at it.”

Carmilla wasted no time in leaving the confines of the library- she did take a moment to send a wink to the hot brunette she had been eyeing up, but that hardly even counted- and made her way down the hallway. She burst through the doors at the end and sighed contentedly as she felt the comforting heat of the still warm September sun. Carmilla plucked her pair of aviators from where they had been hooked into the collar of her shirt and put them on before heading to the quad.

Even back before Carmilla had taken her leave of absence from Silas, she had still ruled the student body with an iron fist of fear instilling power. Anyone who wasn’t terrified of her was in awe of her, and anyone who was in awe of her wanted to sleep with her. Either way, it afforded her basically whatever she wanted in the school, including her very own picnic table at the far end of the quad. It was perfect for Carmilla- far enough away from the main population that she wouldn’t be bothered by annoying underclassmen, yet still in the direct sunlight. She had been pleased to see that even after a long time gone, her table still sat empty, every single day, just simply waiting for her.

Carmilla tossed her book bag on the top of the table and then followed suit herself, climbing up and resting her feet on the bench. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and let out another sigh as she lit up and inhaled. Carmilla was well aware smoking was a particularly nasty habit which was going to kill her one day, but it was really unavoidable for her. There were worse things to do, anyway. Carmilla rested her free hand on the wooden surface behind her, leaning back and closing her eyes as the sun warmed her up. She could almost relax when things were like that.

It didn’t take long for her peace to be broken however. Carmilla felt rather than saw the shadow cast from the figure which came to stand before her, and she was scowling before she even opened her eyes to see who had dared to disturb her. Naturally, it was her idiot brother.

“What do you want?” she snapped.

“Whoa there Kitty,” he smirked, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I come in peace.”

Carmilla’s frown deepened at his use of his rather lame and annoying nickname for her. One momentary moment of weakness when she was twelve and stupid and came across an abandoned cat on her way home from school and he never let her forget it.

“What do you want?” she repeated.

“Your presence is requested in the office.”

Carmilla hated when her brother spoke like he was from the upper class of some posh English community in the eighteen hundreds. “What could mother possibly even want from me this early in the school year?”

Will shrugged. “Don’t ask me. I’m just the messenger.” He paused and smiled slyly. “If I had to guess though, I would say she just wants to straighten some things out.”

Will was already walking away and out of striking distance by the time he finished his sentence, but even so Carmilla briefly considered running after him. In the end though, it was too much effort for a stupid joke from her stupid brother. She wasn’t about to go rushing to meet with her mother either. Carmilla was eighteen. Her mother’s power over her was tenuous at best- at least, that’s what Carmilla always tried to tell herself.

Carmilla finished her cigarette and stubbed it out. As she stood up to head back inside, she caught sight of a pair of figures climbing out of a car in the teacher’s lot. There was no mistaking who it was- the bio teacher from hell and Miss Hollis herself. They were giggly and happy and clearly coming back from a quick lunch date and it made Carmilla’s insides twist with disdain. She tried to tell herself it was entirely the Amazonian freak’s fault. There had been no love lost- to put it mildly- between the two of them since the day the evil redhead had started at Silas. The eight foot wonder didn’t deserve to have a girlfriend, regardless of who it was. It was just purely spite. At least, that’s what Carmilla told herself as she made her way to the office. That’s what she told herself while ignoring the stupid butterflies which always seemed to invade her whenever Laura Hollis was around.

\---

In Carmilla’s really not so humble opinion, Wednesdays were the worst days of the week. Not that she would ever say Mondays were not horrible- she had had enough awful Mondays already to last a lifetime- but at least on Mondays she still had some post-weekend energy to get her through the day. The same post-weekend high usually was strong enough to last until Tuesday as well. Thursdays and Fridays were undoubtedly the best non-weekend days of the week, so making it through school on those days wasn’t insurmountable for Carmilla. But Wednesdays were smack in the middle of the week. No post-weekend energy carryover, no pre-weekend partying; just a stupid, drab, boring Wednesday.

Carmilla had debated skipping her biology class on this particular Wednesday, but some stupid part of her decided it would be some fun to at least see how annoyed she could make Danny Lawrence. And it had been fun- for all of about thirty seconds before the scary redhead announced they would be dissecting a cow’s eyeball for their weekly Wednesday lab day.

Luckily for Carmilla, her lab partner was Lafontaine, and Laf loved science every bit as much as Carmilla despised it. So Lafontaine got to work dissecting the disgusting looking object in the equally disgusting and dirty tray while Carmilla stood back about a foot, gloved hand clamped over her mouth, trying to not breathe in more of the scent than she absolutely had to. Not that it was working, however; Carmilla figured her chances of actually eating anything for lunch were going down the tubes by the second.

“Okay, so now we need to pop the lens out to continue the dissection,” Lafontaine said with a hint of glee in their voice. Carmilla would never understand why they enjoyed this type of thing so much. “Do you want to do this part?”

Carmilla glowered at her now fully grinning partner. “You really want to know the answer to that question?” Her response carried none of her usual bite. It was hard to be sarcastic and scathing when her voice was muffled by both her hand and her desire to not gag.

Lafontaine just shrugged, and then without warning squeezed the gross supposed eyeball in both hands. The resulting pop and hard, yellow disc which came shooting out to drop onto the tray was pretty much the last straw for Carmilla. Feeling last night’s supper unsettling in her stomach, she dropped all pretence of pretending to be involved in the dissection and bent over, hands on her knees and head between, trying to gulp in any fresh air she could find.

“You alright down there, badass?” Lafontaine asked.

“I hate you,” Carmilla groaned, trying to regroup. She felt a tentatively placating hand grip her shoulder. 

“Sorry,” Lafontaine said, and Carmilla knew it was genuine. It wasn’t Lafontaine’s fault they had gotten caught up in another geek out and Carmilla was not as badass as she liked to think. “When you’re up to it, you should take a quick look so you don’t fail the next test. The gross parts are all over, I swear.”

It took Carmilla a couple of minutes, but eventually she straightened out and Laf began to point out various things which Carmilla did her best to look while not thinking about what she was looking at. Finally Lafontaine deemed her sufficiently tutored, and Carmilla once again backed up and watched them work from afar. 

“How’s the dissection going, ladies?” Carmilla bristled as Lafontaine’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Carmilla knew deep down that it wasn’t an intentional slight on Miss Lawrence’s part. It wasn’t like Lafontaine walked around the school holding a big sign over their head with their preferred pronouns on it. It wasn’t like Lafontaine was even ready to broadcast their preferences to anyone but a few select people. But it still got Carmilla’s hackles up, and as the mere presence of her most hated teacher was enough to do so alone, it was a dangerous and volatile combination.

“Pretty good,” Lafontaine responded. “We only have one step to go,” they said, motioning to the white sheet on the lab bench which outlined the procedure.

“Excellent work, Lafontaine,” Miss Lawrence smiled, getting, to her credit, at least one thing right. Then she turned to Carmilla and the smile turned rather stiff. “And Miss Karnstein, how do you think the lab is going?”

“Great,” Carmilla sarcastically forced out.

Miss Lawrence nodded as Carmilla wondered if the thin air up around her head killed brain cells. “That’s good. So could you point out the sclera for me?”

“No, but I’d be more than happy to point out an actual fashion sense for you.”

Carmilla watched with satisfaction as the fake smile slid of the redhead giant’s face and was replaced by a frown of dislike.

“I suppose you think you’re funny?” Miss Lawrence asked. “I suppose you also think it’s funny to make your lab partner do all the work while you shirk off getting an education just because mommy dearest is the principal?”

Carmilla glared. “I didn’t do it on purpose. It’s not my fault I have a weak stomach. Must be something about this room- I seem to feel nauseous as soon as I step foot into your presence.”

“Watch your mouth. Why don’t you just stay late and clean up everybody’s tray before I get angry?” Carmilla could tell the teacher was trying for a dangerous tone, but it took almost all of Carmilla’s strength to not laugh. 

“Honestly I can’t think of anything I’d less like to do. I don’t think I can handle being around you for more than an hour a day anyway.”

“Detention!” Miss Lawrence snapped angrily, her face now dangerously red. It gave Carmilla a grim pleasure to see just how incensed she could make her teacher that the worst she could do was give Carmilla detention. Carmilla couldn’t wait to see the day a teacher tried to suspend her. It would be epic to see them cower under her mother’s reaction.

Five minutes later the bell rang, and Carmilla was out of the classroom like a flash, with a detention slip shoved unceremoniously into her back pocket. Carmilla had never minded detentions- in fact, she had rather been enjoying them this year- but getting into it with Miss Lawrence had put her in a foul mood. The mutual enmity between was growing worse by the day, and neither of them could ever really win. The giantess would never be able to do anything worse than give Carmilla detention, but Carmilla was always naturally below the adult teacher in status, no matter how hard she tried to prove otherwise. So it was three years and counting of hatred and heated encounters, and Carmilla doubted it would ever get any better.

The sound of jogging footsteps came up behind her. “You okay after that Carm?” Lafontaine asked after they caught up to her. Carmilla just shrugged. “Look, I know you and Miss Lawrence hate each other, and probably would’ve ended up fighting anyway, but you don’t have to stand up for me every time someone doesn’t realize I’m going through an identity crisis. I appreciate it, but I can handle it.”

“Like you’ve been oh so effectively handling Perry?” Carmilla inquired. She knew it was a bit of a below the belt blow, but there were only so many times Carmilla could handle seeing her only friend look like a kicked puppy.

“Me and Perr are getting there,” Lafontaine said quietly. “It’s just hard. We’ve been best friends for fifteen years, and Perry hates change and has so much going on with her dad in the hospital, so I don’t really know how to approach things with her.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Carmilla shrugged again. This was getting precariously close to a conversation involving feelings, which Carmilla didn’t do. Ever. 

“Do you wanna come eat lunch with us?” Lafontaine offered, tactfully changing the subject.

Carmilla smiled briefly at Laf to make sure they knew she appreciated the offer. “Thanks, but I crave sunshine. Besides, subjecting Perry and J.P. to my presence two days in a row wouldn’t be very nice, now would it?”

The two parted ways with Lafontaine making their way to the cafeteria while Carmilla headed out to her table in the quad. She wasted no time in lighting up as soon as she was out there, trying to rid herself of the tension remaining after the confrontation in biology. She couldn’t relax while feeling a set of eyes trained on her however, and she looked around in annoyance until her eyes settled on Miss Hollis. The tiny teacher was clearly on lunch monitor duty, as no one could manage to look so disgruntled unless they were being denied time to eat. Carmilla knew for a fact the entire faculty wanted separate lunch monitors hired, but Carmilla also knew arguing with a brick wall would be more effective than arguing with her mother. Disgruntled or not, there was no denying Laura was staring, and that knowledge filled Carmilla with more warmth than the sun did.

“See something you like, Cutie?”

Carmilla watched in amusement as Miss Hollis flushed, looking down. After a moment, the teacher seemed to compose herself a bit and came closer to Carmilla, though she made sure to stop a good few feet from Carmilla’s table.

“Smoking isn’t allowed on school property Miss Karnstein,” the teacher said quietly yet authoritatively.

“Is it not?” Carmilla said, feigning innocence. “Oh, I’m so terribly sorry. Maybe you should punish me,” Carmilla suggested in a low tone, taking great pleasure in her English teacher’s awkwardly flattered and offended reaction.

Laura opened and closed her mouth a few times before seeming to steel herself. “Look Miss Karnstein. Despite your obvious distaste for authority I am still your teacher, like it or not. And being your teacher, I should get at least a little bit of respect from you!”

“Fair enough,” Carmilla conceded. A little impressed by the outburst, she decided to listen for once and stubbed out her cigarette on the picnic table. “Happy now?”

“Not really,” Miss Hollis muttered. The teacher looked down at her feet and then back up at Carmilla. It looked like she was debating whether or not to say something. Carmilla wasn’t so sure she wanted to hear whatever it was. Everything seemed to matter more when it came from the shorter brunette.

“As much as I’d love to spend the next half hour with your undivided attention on me,” Carmilla said sweetly, smirking when Laura rolled her eyes, “I do believe there’s a fight breaking out across the quad. You might want to go break that up.”

Carmilla watched as Laura’s eyes widened in alarm. She watched as her favourite teacher turned to assess the situation, before scurrying over to the scene as quickly as possible. Carmilla sighed as watched the tiny figure trying to get in the middle of a group of testosterone fuelled football players, being way overmatched but not seeming to care. There was something about Laura Hollis which got to Carmilla. She wasn’t sure what it meant yet, nor was she sure whether it was a good or bad thing. But one thing Carmilla did know was that making her teacher blush and seeing that lovely shade of pink grace her cheeks was quickly becoming her favourite pastime.

\---

“Please tell me you didn’t get another detention, Miss Karnstein,” Miss Hollis intoned with exasperation as Carmilla strode into the classroom on Friday afternoon.

Carmilla grinned as she took her usual seat directly in front of the teacher’s desk. “Well, I couldn’t let you go the whole day without seeing me. I know how much you enjoy my company, Teach,” she finished with a wink.

“One day you’ll surprise me and not have anything inappropriate to say in a classroom,” Miss Hollis muttered.

“And where would be the fun in that?”

Carmilla grinned as Laura scrunched up her nose in annoyance, likely trying to look fierce but instead looking simply adorable to Carmilla. She would have loved to continue to goad the girl, but it had been a Friday from hell and Carmilla was looking forward to having a little nap. So Carmilla folded her arms on top of her wooden desk and lowered her head to rest on top of them, hoping she could drift off quickly and have a little snooze. 

She had only gotten to bed at close to three in the morning, after a late night tryst with a hot, blonde college student. Her name had been something along the lines of Millie or Elsa- Carmilla never cared what their names were as long as they were willing- and though the girl wanted her to stay the night- they always did- Carmilla was out of there like a shot as soon as the blonde’s eyes drifted shut- she always was. Carmilla had slept in much later than she normally did, but seeing as it was the second rotation of classes this Friday and she knew she wouldn’t be seeing a certain English teacher she didn’t really care if she missed a couple classes. Of course, not seeing a certain English teacher for first period also sent her on a downward spiral for the rest of the day, and receiving a detention really was a foregone conclusion. Carmilla wondered if there was a record for number of detentions received during a high school career. If someone actually kept track of that stat, she knew she was sure to break it.

All in all it had been a bad day, and the only thing which kept Carmilla from going full on villain was the promise of a performance later that night. But if she wanted a good reception- and to leave with a willing lady afterwards- she definitely needed a short beauty rest before she got on stage. So Carmilla did her best to clear her thoughts and ignore the awkward angle of her neck and back to gain a few minutes of shut eye. She must have succeeded, because the next thing she knew she was being woken up by a blissful voice calling her name.

“Miss Karnstein.” Carmilla stirred slightly, but didn’t want to open her eyes right then. “Miss Karnstein.” The voice was louder this time, but still angelic, making Carmilla smile. “Miss Karnstein, please wake up. It’s time to go.”

Carmilla sat up slowly, stretching out her back and arms as she did so, a lazy smile on her face. “Why so eager to part from my company, Cutie?” she asked, before finally opening her eyes.

Immediately when she opened her eyes, Carmilla knew something was wrong. Miss Hollis was looking at her with a look of sadness and, even worse, pity in her eyes. Carmilla had seen that look before, many times. Laf had bestowed the same look upon her before, as had her cousin. They didn’t do so anymore- at least, not when they thought Carmilla was looking- because they knew Carmilla hated it. She absolutely despised anyone feeling sorry for her. So when she recognized the expression on her teacher’s face, Carmilla’s defences immediately went up. 

“Miss Karnstein, could I talk with you for a moment about your first poetry submission for our creative writing class?”

Damn, Carmilla thought. She knew she shouldn’t have actually handed in that stupid, sappy poem she wrote. It was way too personal for her standards, but for some reason she had wanted to impress Miss Hollis. Carmilla berated herself internally. How stupid could she actually be?

“Something wrong?” Carmilla decided she would go for the oblivious approach. “Did I fail? It’s okay if I did...maybe we can work out a deal for extra credit,” she finished, going for a tone of not so subtle seductiveness.

“Oh. Uh, no, no it’s...um no, it’s nothing like that,” Laura mumbled, her face going pink. “You didn’t fail Carm- uh, Miss Karnstein. Quite the opposite, actually. It was an amazing piece of writing.”

“Good,” Carmilla said, standing up and swinging her bag over one shoulder. “No worries then.”

She tried to quickly leave the room before anything else could be said, but Miss Hollis called her back. Reluctantly, Carmilla turned to face her teacher. She tried to look bored and antagonistic at the same time, hoping she’d scare Miss Hollis out of pursuing the subject any further. Carmilla should have known better though. If there was one thing she’d learned about Laura Hollis during the first two weeks of school it was that the girl had a stubborn streak a mile wide.

“I’m concerned about the theme of your poem. Some of your symbolism was...well, it seemed a little dark.”

Carmilla shrugged. “I’m a dark person. In fact, many people have described me as dark as mysterious so...there you go.”

“Miss Karnstein, this poem speaks of death, doesn’t it? Are you dealing with a loss?” Carmilla felt herself getting angry, but for once in her life she stayed quiet. “Carmilla,” Miss Hollis started, and Carmilla felt a strange thrill shoot through her at the sound of her name leaving her teacher’s lips. “Carmilla, you can talk to me. You can tell me anything. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

For a few moments, Carmilla was actually a bit tempted. Laf was always telling her that keeping everything bottled up inside wouldn’t do any good. They said Carmilla should open up to someone, anyone. But opening up would involve divulging some of her deepest secrets and most intimate feelings to some other person. And Carmilla would rather die than let someone have that kind of power over her. To have an outsider know every one of Carmilla’s secrets would strip her bare and give them everything, and Carmilla couldn’t- wouldn’t- do so.

“Listen I know I seem young,” Miss Hollis was continuing, seeming to speak a mile per minute. “Actually, I am young. But Carmilla, I’ve been through things as well. I know stuff, I’ve seen stuff. I also know how confusing it can be being a teenager. Maybe I won’t be able to actually help, but let me try. If your poem is any indication, you’re hurting Carmilla. You’re hurting deep down and I’m so sorry that you are. But open up to me. Tell me what I can do to help.”

“You want to help?” Carmilla clarified. 

“Yes. Carmilla I know...”

“You know what?” Carmilla spit out, cutting off her teacher. “You know ‘things’? You know about teenage angst? You don’t know shit!” Laura looked taken aback by her outburst, but Carmilla was just getting started. “You don’t even know bloody poetry! Why do you freaking literary morons always have to make every single thing mean something? Why does everything have to symbolize something?”

“Carmilla I’m sorry,” Miss Hollis said quietly. “But I really think you should talk to...”

“You don’t know me!” Carmilla yelled. “You’ve taught me for exactly ten class periods and seven detentions- how in the hell do you know anything about me? You don’t know what I’ve been through and you sure as hell don’t know what I need. So stop trying to psychoanalyze me and stop trying to play the fucking hero!”

Carmilla didn’t wait for a response. She didn’t wait for Miss Hollis to try once more to get her talk or to reprimand her for swearing at a teacher. She didn’t wait for Miss Hollis to actually, finally break through Carmilla’s protective shield of anger and get her to spill everything. Carmilla just turned and fled. Her anger and her secrets were warring with each other. Carmilla was scrambling in her bag for her smokes as she fled, and had one of the hateful sticks between her lips before she was even out of the building. Her fingers shook as she tried to light it, trembling and itching for something else, something more potent. She practically sprinted to her car, slamming the door behind her once she inside. She slammed her fist down on the steering wheel repeatedly, hating her weakness and hating her tears. 

Damn you Laura Hollis, she thought. Damn you for making me want to tell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you all for reading! Thanks for reminding me how much fun this can actually be.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura finds out alcohol is totally not her friend.

For as long as she could remember, Laura had always hated making others feel bad. If she made someone cry or if they were angry at her or upset in any way, Laura would feel awful for days until she had the chance to set things right, or at the very least apologize. Even if most of those apologies were thrown back in her face- she really hadn’t been a very popular kid among her peers- it at least cleared her own conscience. That being said, when Carmilla stormed out of detention Friday afternoon, it didn’t really surprise Laura that within minutes she was feeling sick.

When Danny stopped by her classroom to say goodbye a few minutes after the fact, the other teacher noticed immediately something was wrong. Laura didn’t feel it was her place to go into detail, so she just simply said she had an ‘encounter’ with Carmilla. Danny told her to shrug it off, naturally assuming it had been Carmilla in the wrong- if anyone was actually even to blame, that is. When Laura confessed she felt as if she were the one in the wrong, it looked as if Danny’s eyes might actually pop out of her head. Then Laura asked- not without pause- if anything had happened to Carmilla to make her so angry and disrespectful ninety-eight percent of the time.

“Carmilla’s always been like that,” Danny had responded with a shrug without given it even a second’s thought. “No change at all over the past three years. She’s hated me and everyone else in the world since day one.”

Danny then proceeded to tell Laura the best way to forget about the encounter was to head over to Kirsch’s for Saturday night poker night. Laura refused at first, but then Danny had Kirsch himself invite her, and that was how she ended up sitting in Kirsch’s apartment at a folding table with four other people, trying to learn how to play a game she was sure would make her dad faint if he ever found out she had played it.

All in all, it was a good distraction from Carmilla Karnstein. And it was also an aide in her quest to make a good impression on the school’s faculty. Besides Kirsch and Danny, Betty Spielsdorf and Rhea Cochrane were also regulars at poker night. Betty was the school’s librarian and Rhea taught classes for the communication technologies department. Laura was immediately struck by how friendly they both were, and also a little bit shocked- though in a pleasant way- by how quickly they seemed to accept her into the group. Making friends had never been her strong point.

“Alright Little Hottie, you ready to fly solo a few rounds?” Kirsch asked an hour into the night. He and Danny had been taking turns tutoring her. Or at least, they had taken turns scoffing at the other’s advice and giving Laura different and ‘better’ tips.

“Um...sure, I think I’ve got the hang of this now.”

Thirty minutes and many laughs later, it was clear Laura was in fact not getting the hang of poker at all. After the sixth time Laura ran out of chips, finally the others took pity on her and let her just watch. So she watched, and chatted, and laughed, and sipped at her beer and overall marvelled at just how much her life had transformed over the past couple months. A small part of her was feeling guilty she wasn’t spending Saturday night on the couch beside her dad, watching the Brady Bunch on DVD while sipping cocoa and eating popcorn, but a much bigger part of her was revelling in the feeling of being an adult. 

“So Betty, are you renewing your seasons tickets?” Danny asked as Rhea took her turn to deal the cards.

Betty nodded. “Art wouldn’t let our tickets go for anything. Though sometimes I do wonder why. He spent the second half of last season moping and depressed.”

“That’s because you don’t cheer for a real team,” Danny grinned.

Kirsch scoffed. “Well at least none of the rest of us are bandwagon fans.”

“I am not a bandwagoner!” Danny protested. “I’ve like the Bruins for years.”

“Uh huh.” Kirsch rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen your facebook- before Boston won all you would wear was New York Islanders jerseys.”

“That was my dad’s fault, not mine. At least I know how to cheer for a champion, not a bunch of losers.”

“One year, they’re gonna win it all and then you’ll be sorry D-Bear.” Danny gritted her teeth at the use of Kirsch’s nickname. “Man, it’d be so awesome to have a fiancé who has seasons tickets.”

“That would mean you’d have to find a girl willing to put up with you for more than five minutes.” Everyone else laughed as Kirsch stuck his tongue out at Danny. A moment passed, everyone looking at their cards, before Danny turned to Laura. “Please tell me you don’t cheer for the laughs as well.”

“Well actually,” Laura started off, semi-awkwardly. She hesitated, not wanting to ruin her newfound, budding friendships already. “I’ve never really watched a hockey game.” Silence engulfed the room as four sets of eyes stared at her in disbelief. “That...that is the sport you’re talking about right?”

“How are you even Canadian?” Kirsch asked to finally break the silence. More laughter followed this, and then the night was filled with promises to take Laura to hockey games, teach her all the rules and inform her of the best players and teams, and vows to have Laura be present for Hockey Night in Canada each and every weekend.

“Poker Saturday happens every week,” Danny explained. “But as soon as October hits, it turns into Poker and Hockey Saturday.”

“There always are a few games Art and I can’t make during the season,” Betty said. “I’ll do my best to get you some extra tickets.”

By the end of the night, Laura had gotten a crash course into the world of hockey and also, slightly more importantly, she felt like she might truly belong to the Silas staff. Betty was funny and whip crack smart, while Rhea was quieter but personable and approachable. Neither had faced Laura with the reluctantly indulgent smile she was oh so used to from her school days where the name Laura Hollis was synonymous with suck ups and grade grubbers. Impressing the principal may still have been well out of reach, but she felt safe in saying that at the very least her Sunday morning call home to her dad would be much more cheery than the previous one.

It was just past midnight when Kirsch and Danny- no doubt partially influenced by moderate beer consumption- came nearly to blows during an argument about the best defence to play on third down and the others decided it would be a good time to bring an end to poker night. Kirsch insisted on high fiving everyone at the door of his apartment as they left. Betty and Rhea made their way to the elevator, while Laura and Danny headed for the stairs.

“Did you bring your car?” Danny asked as they entered the stairwell.

Laura shook her head. “I only live about three blocks away, and it was a nice night to walk.”

“You need to get a bike,” Danny said. “It’s not safe to walk through the city streets alone at this time of night. Would you like me to walk you?” she asked eagerly.

“Thanks Danny, but it’s okay,” Laura smiled. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the offer, but then you’d be walking home alone.”

Danny frowned in thought. As they came to first floor and exited to the lobby, her face lit up. “I’ll text Kirsch!” she exclaimed. “He’ll walk you home no problem.”

“Are you sure he wouldn’t mind?”

Danny rolled her eyes. “Are you kidding? He’ll be all, ‘A hottie in need calls for captain Kirsch!” she said, her voice lowered in a passable imitation. 

Laura laughed. “I guess you’re right.” Danny pulled out her phone and began to fiddle with it. That’s when something Danny had said earlier finally registered with her. “Wait a minute...why did you only say he’d walk me home? What about you? You aren’t planning on being all stupidly courageous and walking home by yourself are you? ‘Cause that’s just...oh wait! Is it because you and Kirsch are always arguing? Would he really leave you behind to fend for yourself in the middle of the night just simply because...”

“Laura, Laura stop,” Danny laughed, cutting off Laura’s ranting. Laura felt herself blush a bit at her slight overreaction as Danny placed a placating hand on her shoulder. “I’m already home. My apartment is on the fourth floor, just three below Kirsch.”

“You and Kirsch live in the same building?” Laura asked incredulously.

“Don’t remind me,” Danny groaned. “He’s even more annoying away from the school.” Danny paused, looking down at her phone for a moment. When she spoke again her voice was quieter, more timid. “Hey, uh, before the man child gets down here, can I ask you something?” Laura nodded, curious as to what was causing the shy side of Danny to emerge for only the second ever time in her presence. “Do you maybe want to grab dinner tomorrow night? Just you and I? We could go see a movie or something after too.”

“Like a...like a date?” Laura clarified.

“Well yeah,” Danny said, looking bashful. “Unless you don’t want to, of course! I’d totally understand. I just thought it might be cool to have some one on one time.”

Laura hesitated, but only for a brief moment. Danny was beautiful and protective and friendly and really, what more could Laura ever ask for in a potential girlfriend?

“I’d love to Danny.”

Danny’s face lit up once more with a brilliant smile. “Awesome. Cool. So I’ll uh, text you with details?”

Laura nodded, returning Danny’s smile. They stood there, smiling, in silence, but it wasn’t an awkward one. Laura could feel the excitement building in the form of butterflies, and if the expression on Danny’s face was any indication, she felt the exact same. Laura wanted to say something else, but before she could Kirsch burst his way out of the elevator and onto the scene.

“Did I hear that Little Nerd Hottie needs a knight in shining armour to walk her home? Well, never fear- Captain Kirsch, fearless football leader of the Zetas, is here!”

\---

Laura knew this was a bad idea. She had known that from the very moment she first thought of the stupid idea in the first place. The knowledge of just how bad an idea it was plagued her with every step she took on her journey. And as she passed through the glass doors and into the already crowded and raucous environment, she knew it was a terrible idea. But Laura had been feeling awful- more than awful to be truthful- for a full week now and desperate times called for desperate measures.

She made her way through the crowd at Alchemy, spying the same bartender who had served her two weeks previous. She tried to look confident as she approached the bar. It was, after all, her second time in a real bar and third time drinking; she was practically a pro. Her confidence wavered slightly when she miscalculated her jump up onto the barstool the first time, but she redeemed herself on her second attempt and tried to look cool and collected. The bartender grinned that familiar grin- annoyingly familiar as she still couldn’t place exactly who it reminded her of- as he made his way over.

“Back again?” he asked, and Laura nodded. “You must have really enjoyed the show last time out.” The roguish wink he sent Laura’s way she could have done without.

“Well I certainly didn’t come back for the excellent service,” she shot back, and if truth be told she was actually impressed with her witticism.

The bartender placed a hand over his heart and screwed up his face in mock pain. “Aw, you slay me! Joke’s on you this time though, Mircalla has the week off.”

Laura felt like she had been punched in the gut. She had spent all week steeling herself for what needed to be done to clear the air with her troublesome student- who had not shown up to class or even detention the entire time- and to hear it was all for naught was extremely shocking. And of course, Laura was in no way whatsoever disappointed at the simple fact that she wouldn’t get to see the annoyingly gorgeous enigma for a whole week plus another weekend. That had nothing to do with it.

“Whoa, I’m just yanking your chain...easy there sweetheart,” the bartender smiled. “Mirc will be on stage in thirty.”

Laura glared at him. “That wasn’t funny.”

“Maybe not from your perspective. From mine it was hilarious.” Laura’s frown deepened, and the young man had the sense to look a tiny little bit abashed. “Alright, seriously I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Just give me a minute.”

The handsome bartender walked down the bar a ways. Laura shook her head, trying to get a grip on herself. She was oddly touchy tonight. She chalked it up to the fact that she was nervous one of her new colleagues might be present and somehow make the connection that she was only here to see the principal’s daughter. But that was utterly ridiculous, she told herself. It was far from illegal for teachers to go out to bars on weekends. And furthermore, it was also not in the wrong to support students’ extracurricular ventures. The fact that she found said student intriguing and infuriating and incredibly good looking was something she would definitely keep private, however.

“Here ya go,” the bartender said as he returned, placing a rather large and pink drink in front of her. 

“What is this?” she asked, slightly wary. It looked fancy, and her dad always told her fancy meant two things; expensive, and filled with hard liquor. And he always told her hard liquor which didn’t look or taste like hard liquor was how she would get in trouble.

“It’s a surprise, but you’ll like it I promise.” When Laura didn’t take a sip and still looked suspicious he sighed and rand a hand through his messy dark hair. “Look, it comes highly recommended from a...colleague. Just try it. If you don’t like it I’ll swap it out.”

Laura took a sip from the sugar coated rim of the glass and almost let out an embarrassing moan. Whatever the drink was, it seemed like pure heaven. It was fruity and sweet, but not too much so. She couldn’t even taste any alcohol in it. 

“Oh wow. So good. That’s amazeballs,” she gushed, and then immediately blushed at the bartender’s look of amusement. “Um...how much do I owe you?”

He shook his head. “No charge. This one’s on the house, Teach.”

Laura’s eyes and the bartender’s grin widened at the exact same time. She sputtered. “How did you...how is...wait...”

“This one here is notorious for stealing my creative genius and taking the credit,” Carmilla drawled, coming into view behind the bar with a smirk on her face. “But don’t worry; I wouldn’t let him steal Cutie, Cutie. That one’s all mine.”

“Carmilla!” Laura exclaimed, shocked to see her student. Obviously, she had expected to see Carmilla at some point, but not right then and not that close. “I mean...Miss Karnstein! What a surprise! I had no idea you’d be here tonight. I mean...I kinda did. Obviously you know I saw you sing when I was out here with some friends a couple of weeks ago. But I didn’t know it was like a regular thing. This wasn’t planned at all. I just stopped by for a drink. Not intending to run into you of course. Wait a minute...what are you doing behind a bar? You’re not old enough!”

“Chill Teach, it’s cool.” Carmilla was grinning, as was the bartender, and now that they were side by side the resemblance was uncanny. “The legal age to serve in Ontario is eighteen. But don’t worry; Blake here won’t let me touch anything anyways.” She paused. “And speaking of...this is my cousin, Blake Karnstein. Blake this is my teacher...Miss Hollis,” Carmilla finished her introduction in a voice which made Laura’s mouth go dry and made her think it should be illegal.

“Nice to meet you,” Blake said sincerely. “I’ve heard a lot about you from this one,” he said, flicking his head in the direction of a sly looking Carmilla.

Laura blushed a bit. The thought of Carmilla talking about her in any capacity was, for some reason beyond Laura’s comprehension, thrilling to her.

“Anyway, I gotta go get on stage,” Carmilla said after a brief pause. “You,” she said, pointing at Laura, “don’t pay for anything here tonight. And you,” she pointed at Blake this time, “make sure she gets everything she needs and wants or you’ll have me to answer to.”

Blake gave Carmilla a mock salute. “You can count on it. Go get ‘em Kit...er Tiger.”

Carmilla socked her cousin on the shoulder in what seemed a semi playful manner before disappearing behind the bar. Laura finished her drink under the scrutinizing yet seemingly playful gaze of Blake.

“Want another one?” Blake asked. Laura hesitated. She did, but she felt guilty after Carmilla’s pronouncement that she would get everything for free. “Don’t worry about it. Carmilla always settles with me at the end of the day. Besides, it’s kinda nice to see her have a friend here.”

Before Laura could sputter out a vehement denial of the fact she and Carmilla were anything other than teacher and student- a fact which in itself was doubtful due to the utter lack of respect from the younger girl- Blake had moved off to mix Laura another magical drink. She sat on her barstool alone, feeling slightly awkward but glad to at least be avoiding the questionable advances other people at the bar were receiving. While Laura waited, she thought about Danny. Mainly, she thought about her date with Danny. 

It had been a nice evening out. It had been casual yet fun. Danny paid for dinner, claiming it was only fair as she had been the one to invite Laura out, but Laura had managed to slip the money for movie tickets to the cashier before Danny could stop her. To her Danny’s credit, she let it go with only minor grumbling. After dinner and a movie they had walked around the park for a little while before Danny dropped her off right at the front door of her apartment building. There, Danny didn’t press for an invitation to come up but did only leave after giving Laura a soft, quick peck on the lips with just the right amount of hesitancy for Laura to reject her advances had she wanted. In other words, Danny had been the perfect date, and it had made Laura feel almost as awful as the Carmilla situation had all week.

Maybe it was the fact she had been read too many fairy tales when she was a young girl and had always been encouraged to believe in them and their magical powers to come true. Or perhaps it was because her dad had been telling Laura her whole life she was a princess and there couldn’t possibly be another prince or princess out there good enough for her. But whatever the reason was, as perfect a date as Danny had been, Laura felt no spark. There had been no feeling of a perfect fit when they walked hand in hand. Danny’s hands were smooth and perfect but just a little too big. Laura had butterflies in her stomach the whole date, but they didn’t flutter with as much excitement as she thought they would. And when they had kissed, she hadn’t felt tingles, or saw fireworks, or popped her foot, or walked up the stairs to her apartment in a dizzy daze of delighted delirium. 

Laura had, however, managed to quell her insecurities about the date for the most part. She did, admittedly, not have an overly large amount of experience in the dating world. In fact, her level of experience was almost in the negative regions. So it was silly to expect to go on one date and be dazzled like she had been smacked over the head with magic fairy dust. She liked Danny, and Danny wasn’t shy in showing her like for Laura, and that was enough. It had to be enough.

Laura was broken from her thoughts by the reappearance of Blake and another magic pink drink. She mumbled her thanks right before taking a rather large gulp of the delicious beverage. It was only Blake’s amused, annoying, smirk which kept her from literally smacking her lips.

“Easy there, Teach; wouldn’t want Carm to have to carry you out of here later,” Blake said, grinning.

Laura rolled her eyes, blushing only slightly. “Is it really too much for one person in your family to call me by my real name?”

“As if perfect Willy-boy doesn’t suck up to Miss Hollis,” Blake replied. This time it was he who rolled his eyes. “But, your wish is my command. What would you prefer?”

“Just...Laura.”

“Alright then, Just Laura,” he laughed, but abruptly stopped when her saw her less than amused glare. “Yikes, sorry. Can’t blame a guy for trying out the clichés. So tell me, Laura- how is it teaching little Carmilla?”

Laura sighed. She wasn’t quite sure how to answer his question. She didn’t know how close the two cousins were. “I don’t think I could give you an honest answer to that statement without offending you. She is your cousin after all.”

Blake shrugged. “And I guarantee you, whatever hell she’s giving you right now it’s nothing compared to when she was a kid. Little devil. Never listened, always raised some hell, and was cute and tiny enough to get away with anything. At least it’s easier to get mad at her now- she hasn’t got the cute factor on her side anymore.”

Speak for yourself, Laura thought. Or at least she assumed she thought it until she saw Blake’s quirked eyebrow and amused expression. Laura felt her cheeks burning as a brief silence elapsed. She cast around desperately for a change of topic.

“So...uh...so no wise words of wisdom to help a girl out?”

“Look, Carm’s a handful- I’ll give her that. But if anyone actually took the time to get to know her they’d see an incredible girl who hasn’t had the easiest time with things. Problem is, nobody ever takes time with her. And Carm won’t open up to just anyone. It takes a lot to earn her trust. For what it’s worth though, I think Carmilla trusts you as much as she trusts anyone. She sure does talk about you a lot.”

For how much she had been feeling like a real, actually genuine adult lately, blushing was still one thing Laura was sure she’d never be able to control. Or maybe it was just a Karnstein thing. God only knew she blushed ten times more around Carmilla and her newly realized cousin than any other people on earth. It was becoming quite the problem.

Just then the stage was lit up with lights and the same twangy MC walked out to a chorus of cheers. Laura made to hop off her stool and get closer to the stage, but she heard Blake calling her name and she reluctantly turned back to him.

“Carmilla really could use a friend Laura. I think you’d be good for her.” Blake looked genuine and sincere, at least until a playful glint entered his eyes. “Enjoy the show Cutie.”

Laura didn’t even bother trying to come up with another witticism because the lights dimmed and Carmilla- or Mircalla- walked out onto the stage in all her glory. And by glory Laura meant a corset top and the tightest, sexiest pair of leather pants she had ever seen. She would probably end up going to hell for having such inappropriate thoughts concerning a student, but she had just enough pink drink in her to not care for once. 

Once again, when Carmilla started singing Laura couldn’t even think about anything other than her amazing, sultry voice. Captivating didn’t even begin to describe it. Laura stood there, mesmerized, for the entire set. It was the talent on display which got to Laura just as much-if not more- than the beauty clearly on display. It amazed Laura that Carmilla had such a gift when she came across as so uncaring and blasé about everything. It made Laura believe that there were many layers to Carmilla and goodness did she ever want to peel back those layers and find out everything which was hiding underneath. And naturally she meant that in a one hundred percent innocent and non innuendo-like way.

When Carmilla finally left the stage after thirty minutes- or it may have been an hour, Laura really didn’t know or care- Laura made her way back to the bar. She knew she had a dreamy, sappy look on her face and she knew Blake was laughing at her as she approached but she really didn’t care. All she could think about was Carmilla and her voice and her everything.

“One more for the road?” Blake asked as Laura gracelessly reclaimed her perch on her favourite barstool. She nodded and pushed over her empty glass across the shiny surface of the bar.

As Blake readied her third- or maybe it was only just her second, she wasn’t really keeping count- drink, Laura began fidgeting on her seat. She was anxious to see Carmilla up close again. Suddenly the whole night was feeling rather good to Laura. Carmilla clearly wasn’t angry at her, she got to see Carmilla perform, she was functioning like an adult in an adult situation, and for the first time in her life she could almost call someone her girlfriend. Everything was good and when Blake set the new drink in front of her Laura could’ve broken out in song. The only thing which could’ve made the night any better was seeing Carmilla again and being able to tell her how amazing she thought the girl was. Or maybe apologize. It was a bit confusing as to which one Laura was supposed to be doing.

Despite Laura’s inner restlessness, Carmilla took her sweet old time in showing back up. Or at least, Laura assumed it had been a long time. It had felt like a long time. Her drink was already gone, so it had to have been a long time. 

When Laura felt Carmilla’s tell tale presence over her shoulder, she turned to tell the singer just how much she loved her voice- and she completely froze. Laura had seen Carmilla wear every article of clothing in the book written about how to disregard dress code. She had seen Carmilla wear the skimpiest tops, the shortest shorts and sinfully tight leather pants. So it was utterly shocking to her that seeing the dark haired girl in nothing more spectacular than ripped jeans, a plaid flannel over a graphic tee and a snapback would instantly have Laura feeling insanely hot. It had to be the snapback. Laura decided hats were going to be illegal from then on.

“Enjoying yourself Cutie?” she asked. Laura couldn’t respond. She just continued to gaze slash smile at Carmilla. Laura tried to school her smile into the flirty one Carmilla always managed. It didn’t seem to work. “Seriously Blake? I tell you to take care of my girl and you let her get drunk?”

Laura didn’t turn around to look at Blake- her eyes were quite happy to be looking where they were- but she could almost hear the shrug in his response. “Dude. Not my fault your school girl crush is a lightweight.”

Carmilla looked angry then, and Laura couldn’t imagine why. Such beautiful facial features should never be turned into a frown. She wanted to reach forward and use her fingers to help Carmilla’s lips smile again, but she was already holding something. She looked down to see her hands still wrapped around her empty glass. Vaguely, not really concentrating, Laura reached behind her to set the glass back on the bar, but it kept falling down low. Nothing was really stopping her hand.

“Easy there Sweetie,” Carmilla said. She stepped forward and reached to help Laura with the glass. The move brought Carmilla closer- much closer- and Laura couldn’t help but think the creamy, smooth skin of Carmilla’s neck was within kissing distance, biting distance and Laura felt this strange urge to—“Alright, maybe we should get you home Cutie.”

Laura pouted as Carmilla stepped back and away from her. Then Carmilla held out her hands, palm up, and Laura grinned again. She placed her hands on top of Carmilla’s and the girl helped her hop down. Her assistance was appreciated. Somehow the floor didn’t seem to be in the same place it had been earlier, nor was it actually in the place her eyes thought it should be. Laura vaguely registered Carmilla saying goodbye to someone- probably Barney- and then Carmilla’s hand was holding her own, fingers intertwined as she led Laura to the front doors of the bar.

Laura couldn’t stop grinning at the feel of Carmilla’s hand in her own. Not even the blast of cool air they received after stepping outside on a cool September night could dampen her spirits. Carmilla’s hand felt amazing. Laura marvelled at how perfectly their hands fit together; like two side by side pieces of a puzzle. Carmilla’s hand was smooth as silk but her fingertips were rough, callused. Laura couldn’t help herself as she ran her thumb gently along the back of Carmilla’s hand. It was perfect. It was so perfect there were tingles running up and down Laura’s entire arm, as if she had been holding onto a metal fork while sticking it in a socket only much more pleasant than that. 

“I always get hungry after a show,” Carmilla said, startling Laura. “There’s this amazing food truck up a block. Could I interest you in a greasy, heart attack inducing gourmet bacon grilled cheese? My treat.”

Laura nodded. She probably would’ve agreed to anything Carmilla said as long as it didn’t involve having to let go of her hand. Nevertheless, she was hungry. Not ravenously hungry, but she totally had the munchies. Laura could really go for some peanuts. She didn’t know why she had a craving for peanuts. Probably because she wasn’t allowed to eat any peanuts until she was thirteen because her dad was worried she’d develop a serious peanut allergy and there was still a part of her childishly rebelling against that rule.

When they arrived at the food truck, Laura was disappointed. Carmilla dropped her hand so she could pull a crumpled ten dollar bill out of her pocket. But then she handed Laura her sandwich and put her hand on the small of Laura’s back to direct her over to a bench at the edge of a park. All Laura could focus on was the presence of that hand. Carmilla’s touch was so gentle, and somehow also automatically soothing. It was obvious Carmilla cared. She cared so much. Carmilla would totally make someone a perfect girlfriend. Laura wondered why she wasn’t Carmilla’s girlfriend. There was a reason- she knew it and could feel it- but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what that reason was.

“Are you going to eat that or just stare at it?” Once more Carmilla’s voice brought Laura back down to earth. She grinned sheepishly at Carmilla before bring the sandwich up and taking a bite.

“Ohmygoodness,” she breathed out as she chewed. Politeness be damned. “This is so good. How do you Karnstein’s do it?”

“It’s a gift,” Carmilla smirked. “I always know what people will like. I always know what they need to make them feel good.”

Laura felt like she needed to respond to that. There was an automatic response building from within, but it felt angry so Laura repressed it. She didn’t want angry right now. She wanted happy. She was happy. She was happy with Carmilla.

Gradually, as Laura finished her sandwich the world began to clear a little bit. The streetlights lost that glowing halo around them and the ground didn’t look like it was moving so much anymore. She felt a bit clearer in her mind as well, but things still felt weird. Everything still seemed a bit fuzzy.

“And she’s coming back,” Carmilla said from beside her on the bench. “Wow, you really are a lightweight. First rule of drinking Cutie; never drink alcohol without eating something with it.”

There was an innuendo somewhere in there, Laura was sure of it. But she still didn’t feel up to coming up with a retort yet. 

“I know that,” Laura said, jutting out her bottom lip in a pout. She watched Carmilla’s eyes instantly fixate on that lip. “This isn’t my first time drinking you know.”

“My apologies.”

“It’s my third,” Laura admitted.

“Whoa. Seriously?” Carmilla looked genuinely surprised. “Did you have a bad experience or something? That can totally turn people off for a while.”

Laura shook her head. “Overprotective dad,” she said. Then her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Wait a minute. How would you know? You’re not old enough to drink!”

“Err...I’ve heard stories. You know, my cousin is a bartender after all.” Laura nodded. She didn’t buy Carmilla’s story, but who was she to judge? “So Cutie, you feel like telling me where you live? As much as I’d love to spend my entire night with you, I feel like I should actually get some sleep for once.”

Laura didn’t want to go home. Going home would mean ending her time with Carmilla. Going home meant she would be alone without the dark haired beauty who could sing and make her feel so happy. She cast around in her mind for a different, unrelated topic to switch the conversation to, but she couldn’t for the life of her come up with anything. Things were still fuzzy and there was this weird buzzing sensation whirring in her brain which was driving her mad. So finally, when a new thought finally did enter her mind, she jumped on it.

“Why do you hate me?”

Carmilla frowned. “Who said I hate you?”

“I can just tell!” Laura exclaimed. She was suddenly, vehemently thrilled with the topic she had chosen. She had to figure Carmilla out. She just had to. Maybe this was finally the way. “You never come to class and when you do you’re late and you fall asleep and you’re just always so rude! You scare everybody, but you don’t scare me. You make me angry. Because you’re talented and beautiful and everything should be easy for you but you make it so hard to like you. And if you didn’t hate me you’d try! You don’t even use my real name.”

“Cutie...” Carmilla started briefly before pausing again. “Look I don’t hate you. I hate a lot of people, but you aren’t one of them. I don’t do those things on purpose, it’s just who I am.”

“But why?” Laura pressed.

Carmilla sighed, and suddenly she looked sad. She looked sad and tired and she no longer looked like a teenager but someone who was much older and much wearier of the ways of the world. She looked so genuinely, overwhelmingly forlorn that Laura needed to fix it. She needed to see Carmilla smile.

Slowly- the spinning of the world was slowing down but still there- Laura reached out and brushed Carmilla’s cheek with her fingertips. Carmilla’s eyes fluttered closed at the touch. Laura gently stroked the unblemished skin and a soft sigh blew from between Carmilla’s full lips. Laura found herself leaning forward uncontrollably as her fingers moved lower and suddenly she was touching Carmilla’s lips and tracing their shape. Carmilla had soft, perfect lips. But they were still frowning. Laura wanted to see them smile. She leaned in closer until she could feel Carmilla’s breath mingling with her own and ran her thumb across a full bottom lip.

“God,” Carmilla groaned in a throaty tone which sounded anything but displeased. “You’re killing me, Teach.”

And suddenly the world and everything in it snapped back into perspective. Laura ripped her hand away from Carmilla as if burned and jumped backwards violently, almost falling off the bench. Carmilla looked surprised and confused by the sudden movements, but Laura wasn’t confused. Not anymore. She was slowly but surely being filled with an overwhelming sense of horror.

“Oh crap,” she breathed. She scrambled to her feet. “Oh crap. You...and I...and I almost...my student!”

Carmilla no longer looked confused. She frowned and seemed incredibly disappointed. She too stood up, but she kept her distance and Laura was glad for that.

“Carmilla...Miss Karnstein. I am so incredibly appalled at myself. Please forgive me. And please...you can’t tell anyone. It was just a mistake. Almost a mistake. I just drank too much and lost myself for a moment. I thought...I thought I was with someone else...Danny. I thought you were Danny, er, Miss Lawrence.”

Carmilla’s shoulders slumped for a brief moment, but then she straightened back up. “Yeah Teach, sure. Whatever you say.” Any sweetness which Carmilla’s voice had held earlier in the night was long gone. She now sounded bitter and much more like her usual self. “You should get home. Need me to call you a cab?”

“No, uh, no thank you,” Laura shook her head. “My apartment is just around the corner. Real close. What about you? You’re not walking are you?”

Carmilla seemed perturbed by her inquiry. “Blake will take me home,” she said shortly. “See you on Monday, Teach.”

Without another word, Carmilla turned on her heel and walked away from Laura, back toward Alchemy. Laura wanted to chase her and further apologize, but something told her it was a bad idea. Instead she too turned and walked the opposite direction as Carmilla toward her old apartment building, cursing herself the entire way. She could only hope no one saw how incredibly stupid she had been, coming so close to kissing her own student.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe I'm almost had a couple hundred kudos already you all totally rock! Never posted this for anything other than being able to prove to myself I could do this again, but your response so far has totally made it even more worth it. Thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla stars in Laura's dreams.

As her last class shuffled out of the room following the bell, Laura leaned back in her chair and sighed contentedly. She was insanely tired, but happy because it was the good kind of tired. It was the kind of tired which came from the hard work of making a difference in teens’ lives. She had such a good group of kids to work with, and seeing day after day the potential they had and the commitments they were making to their futures was so satisfying. For the first time, Laura felt truly content with the decision she had let herself be guided into to put aside her desire for a career in journalism in order to turn to teaching. Teaching was so rewarding. She absolutely loved it.

Laura bent down and reached in the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out her leather book bag. She straightened up and had just begun to reach for the various papers she needed to take home with her when suddenly she froze and her mouth dropped open.

“Didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye, now did ya Teach?”

Carmilla was sitting on top of her own desk, but it was Carmilla as Laura had never seen her before. Knee high socks, shorter than anything she’d ever seen before plaid skirt, a tight blouse unbuttoned more than enough to show off ample cleavage, and a tie knotted loosely around her neck. And of course, the black rimmed glasses to top off the whole ensemble. Laura gulped. Carmilla looked like she was coming straight from every school girl fantasy there ever was.

“Cat got your tongue?” Carmilla asked, as there was that damn smirk. That smirk combined with that outfit was enough to make Laura squirm in her seat.

“Miss Karnstein,” she began, struggling to keep her voice steady. “The bell rang five minutes ago. Unless you have a detention slip, you’ll need to leave. Now.”

It had been a valiant effort on her part, but Carmilla’s smirk only grew. “Of course I have detention Miss Hollis. I’ve been a very bad girl. I need to be punished.”

Carmilla’s innocent tone seemed to suck all the moisture out of Laura’s mouth. She felt like it might have all gone straight to her core, as her panties now felt incredibly soaked. How Carmilla could do that with just a few sentences, Laura would never know but she found she didn’t care. She also found less and less that she cared Carmilla was her student as her thoughts became increasingly less PG-rated and increasingly more illegal in nature.

“Miss Karnstein, I see no detention slip anywhere,” Laura said. Her voice was quiet and hoarse. “I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave my classroom.”

Carmilla pouted. Then she spread her knees apart- which, wow- and placed her hands in between, leaning forward to give Laura a delicious view of her cleavage. Without really thinking what she was doing, Laura found herself getting to her feet and walking around her desk, toward Carmilla. She wasn’t thinking straight. All she could think was that she needed to touch Carmilla. She needed to feel her smooth skin, taste her, devour her.

Carmilla’s pout faded, replaced with an devilish smile. “That’s it, Teach,” she said. She took Laura’s hand and guided it to her breast. Laura almost let out a groan at how good it felt under her touch, even through a shirt and bra. She began to move her hand, squeezing and caressing in turn. “Yes,” Carmilla groaned. “So good Miss Hollis. School me.”

And then Laura’s eyes popped open, her alarm clock blaring on the end table beside her. She was breathing heavily and was covered in sweat. She could feel the dampness between her legs.

It took Laura a few minutes to gather her wits and realize where she was. Her eyes darted around the dark room, taking in the four bare walls, the rumpled purple bed sheets, the lack of desks and the definite lack of a certain raven haired seductress. She was at home, in her own apartment, in bed. Laura sighed in relief. She wasn’t going to be arrested. Her relief, however, was very short lived when she realized how incredibly turned on she still was. She could still see Carmilla when she closed her eyes, and it seemed so real.

With a groan, Laura grabbed her extra pillow and pulled it over her head. She wasn’t sure if was trying to block out the images or just trying to hide from the world. In addition to her aggravation at the need she feeling, a bit of shame was starting to creep in as well. It seemed so wrong to have a sex dream about her student. Forget the fact that said student was a legal adult. It felt wrong and Laura was so going to hell. Unless of course she was murdered first. She couldn’t imagine the principal would be very impressed if she found out her newest faculty member was having inappropriate dreams and maybe even developing inappropriate feelings toward her daughter.

\---

Laura wasn’t surprised when Carmilla didn’t show up to class that Monday morning, but she was incredibly relieved. Between her embarrassing drunken display- all of which, by the way, she unfortunately remembered- the previous Friday and her oh so hot but oh so wrong fantasy of just a few hours previous, Laura was glad she didn’t have to face the teen. She would definitely not have been able to control her blushing, or staring.

She made it through her morning classes without major incident, but she was slightly distracted all through her AP English class. She couldn’t stop staring at the empty desk right in front her. She couldn’t keep herself from picturing how prominently it had featured in her dream with Carmilla perched on top of it. It got easier after that as different classes filed in and different students filled the seat, but that first class definitely tested Laura.

By the time lunch rolled around, Laura was actually starting to feel quite content. She didn’t make her way to the staff room, but instead stayed in her classroom and quickly gulped down her poorly put together sandwich. It was the first Rainbow Club meeting of the year, and she had decided to have it during lunch hour so all the kids who wanted to make it could. She figured they could talk through their schedules and decide on a regular meeting time later. Laura was quite excited for the first meeting to begin. She felt like this was something she could be really good at, and something she could definitely help the kids with. Making a positive difference was something Laura desperately wanted above most other things, so she was quite ready to go.

Lafontaine, Perry and J.P. were the first to walk in, and Laura greeted them cheerfully. Laf suggested they move around the tables and chairs a bit to create a circle, and Laura readily agreed. Sharing circles were great.

The next to walk in was a tenth grader Laura knew by sight but not name, though she was pretty sure it was Mel or something along those lines. Right behind her came Theo, and Laura was slightly put off by the sight of him. He was in her eleventh grade class and had not made a very good impression on her in the first few weeks of class. Still, everyone was welcome and Laura smiled warmly at him as he entered. The last to show up were Sara Jane and Natalie, a duo whom Laura had yet to see apart from one another. Laura waited a few more minutes to see if anyone else would come. She was a bit disappointed at the turn out, but she was happy she had anyone show up at all.

“Okay then, shall we get started?” Laura asked after closing the door, and the group nodded. “Right. Good. So I thought today would just be a bit of a get to know each other thing, as well as a bit of a planning session. Should we do some introductions first?”

She had everyone introduce themselves with their name and grade. It looked like everyone already knew each other pretty well. Laf, Perry, J.P., SJ and Natalie had all been in the club the year previous, and Theo and Mel seemed to have some kind of pre-existing rivalry based on the way they had been staring each other down for the past five minutes.

“Okay, so why don’t we do a bit of planning next?” Laura suggested. “We can plan out meeting times and topics we’d like to discuss and things like that.”

“Miss H?” Laura looked round to see Laf with their hand raised. She nodded at them to proceed. “I think maybe the first thing we should do is organize a fundraiser,” they said. “It’s what we did last year. This group is kind of dependent on internal funding, as we never get enough members to receive funding from the board.”

Laura was a bit surprised by that, but then thought it made sense based on what Danny had told her about the principal and her ill-concealed homophobia. “I think that’s an excellent idea Lafontaine. What do you guys think? Any ideas on how we could raise some money?”

Before any suggestions could be thrown out, the door flew open. Laura turned at the noise and almost died when she saw the very person she had been trying to forget about all morning standing in the doorway. Carmilla looked gorgeous, as always, with her skinny jeans and black top cropped short to give just a teasing peak of the creamy skin hiding beneath.

“Sorry I’m late,” Carmilla said, striding into the room. There was no explanation, and she didn’t even sound slightly apologetic, but she still pulled out a chair and sat down like she owned the place. “So, what’d I miss?”

Not one of the other kids looked remotely pleased to see the new arrival, except for Lafontaine. Laura once again felt a pang of pity for the girl as the others didn’t even try to hide their displeasure at seeing Carmilla there. No one said anything until finally Laf spoke up.

“We were just about to brainstorm ideas for a fundraiser. You know, earn some money to keep this club going all year.”

“Fantastic,” Carmilla said, and she was actually smiling. She looked at Laura and their eyes locked. “How about a car wash?”

Laura instantly had visions of a soaking wet Carmilla in a skimpy bikini and her eyes rolled back in her head a little bit. She struggled to shut down the image, and eventually she did. A quick glance at Carmilla’s smirk, however, told her that her momentary daydream had not gone completely unnoticed.

“I don’t think a carwash at this time of year would be very successful,” Perry said, sounding sharp but not making eye contact with Carmilla. “It’s officially fall now. Nobody would pay to have us stand around freezing as we rinse their cars with ice.”

Carmilla just shrugged, not seeming perturbed by her idea greeted with a less than stellar reception. “Whatever.”

“We could have a garage sale,” J.P. suggested. “I’m sure all together we could come up with enough books, trinkets and old clothes to sell.”

“I don’t think selling books and trinkets for ten cents will amount to much,” Laf said. “And we’re not exactly the right group of kids to be inspiring people to emulate our fashion sense.”

“Let’s do a sporting tournament of some sort,” Theo interjected. “We could sell tickets for it, and even have a raffle or something during it.”

“And out of the nine of us, who looks particularly sporting besides you and me?” Mel asked somewhat snidely, but Laura could see her point. Most people in the room gave off either the bookish or the science nerd feel.

“Speak for yourself,” Carmilla scoffed. “Besides, beach volleyball doesn’t have to involve actual ability. All you need is to look good with next to nothing on.”

Once again, Laura found herself fighting a fantasy. This time it was of Carmilla prancing around on a beach, scantily clad.

“I don’t think I’ve got what it takes for beach volleyball,” Lafontaine said with a grin. Nobody else was grinning though. Most were frowning at Carmilla, but Mel and Theo were both glaring at her with ill concealed contempt.

“Perhaps we could do a bake sale,” Perry said after a moment, breaking up the slightly awkward silence. “My parents own a bakery, and I know they’d be more than happy to donate ingredients to the cause. We could see if we’d be allowed to use the school’s kitchen over the weekend, and then sell the products throughout the week.”

Laura hesitated. She thought it was a wonderfully practical idea. Her taste buds were definitely in agreement with the idea as well. But she wanted to know what the others thought first. Perry wasn’t exactly the type of teen she’d associate with popularity and leadership, and she sincerely hoped the girl’s idea wasn’t shot down simply because of that.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea Perry!” J.P. gushed. And then there was agreement all around the circle. Even Carmilla looked somewhat approving. 

“Great idea! Good job working together on this everyone!” Laura praised. “Should we decide what we’re going to bake in advance so we’re prepared for the big day?”

“Oh gosh, Perry’s mom has this recipe for these amazing East German snack cakes,” Laf jumped in immediately. “She refuses to give out the recipe to anyone, but she’s been teaching Perry since she was really little and Perry can make them almost as good, I swear.”

“I’m nowhere near as excellent as my mother,” Perry said, blushing at her best friend’s praise. “But I can try,” she conceded.

“Excellent!” exclaimed Laura. Her stomach was already rumbling in anticipation. “What else?”

“Chocolate chip cookies!” Natalie practically shouted, and then sat back in embarrassment.

J.P. laughed. “Chocolate chip cookies for sure,” he agreed. “I know how to make a few different kinds of pie as well.”

“I’m not much of a baker,” Theo said. “But I can handle my grandma’s macaroon recipe alright.”

“I can bake a cake or two if someone else can decorate,” Mel said. “I ain’t exactly the artistic type.”

“I can decorate,” Sara Jane contribute. “I really like drawing, so how much different can it be really?”

It was all coming together quite nicely, Laura thought. The kids were all working together to come up with ideas, and all seemed to be excited about the idea. Carmilla was the only one not participating in the conversation. Laura wondered if perhaps she felt awkward since she was clearly the odd one out of the group, but realistically Carmilla was also the odd one out of the entire school and it had never stopped her from speaking her mind before. Laura couldn’t help but start to wonder what made Carmilla come to the meeting in the first place.

The kids continued to talk and organize, and though the conversation was making Laura practically salivate at how good everything sounded, she couldn’t help but notice there was one particular dessert no one had mentioned yet. How nobody could’ve thought of it yet was beyond her, but she was definitely not prepared to risk having none present.

“Cupcakes!” Laura shouted out, effectively stopping the conversation. Everyone turned to stare at the teacher in surprise. Carmilla’s expression was more amusement than anything. Laura blushed. “I mean, um, let’s not forget about cupcakes. I can handle those.”

By the end of the meeting, they had decided Sunday would be the baking day and they’d work in pairs during their free periods Monday and Tuesday to hopefully sell all their goods. They had also decided Tuesday’s after school would work for additional meetings, although Mel and Theo said they may have to miss a meeting here and there depending on sports commitments. 

All in all, Laura couldn’t have been happier for the way the meeting had turned out. It was a small group, there was no denying that, but it seemed like it would be a good group. She hoped that after a few months, once they were able to promote their club a little bit, some other students might feel comfortable enough to step forward and join the Rainbow Club as well. Laura wasn’t naive enough to believe any of the members of her group were of the ‘popular’ ilk, but she felt confident all the same that once they had some funds available they could properly get their group out there. She knew from personal experience that high school could be cruel to the LGBT plus community and supporters, but hopefully they could really make the Rainbow Club a safe and fun place people would want to come to.

The only concern Laura had was- big surprise- the presence of Carmilla Karnstein. Though the girl didn’t necessarily seem interested in the proceedings, she hadn’t been openly antagonist, as was her custom, either. But Carmilla also seemed to have a dark cloud hanging over her wherever she went, and though Laura felt awful for thinking it she was somewhat concerned about Carmilla’s presence deterring others from joining. It wasn’t like Laura could exclude her though. The whole point of the Rainbow Club was about promoting acceptance. Laura- and everyone else- was just going to have to accept Carmilla’s presence as part of the club.

Speaking of the girl, she was the only one left in the room after the meeting had ended. Everyone else had left with only five minutes left in the lunch period, but Carmilla was still sitting there, playing with her phone. With memories of her dream still more than fresh in her head, the thought of being alone with Carmilla made Laura extremely antsy. She had to get rid of her.

“You better hurry up Miss Karnstein, you don’t want to be late for your next class,” Laura tried.

Carmilla simply shrugged, not even looking up from her phone. “I have a free period next. There’s no rush.”

Laura sighed. It was just her luck. “Well, I don’t have a free period, and I need to get ready for my next class so...” she trailed off, hoping Carmilla would get the point.

“Trying to get rid of me, Teach?” Carmilla asked, finally looking up from her phone.

“Of course not! But I really do have a class coming in just a few minutes.”

Carmilla shrugged again before standing up and grabbing her bag, slinging it over her shoulder carelessly. She made her way to the door. Laura was relieved to see the girl going. But there was a very small part of that was disappointed to see the rebel following her request so easily. There was a part of Laura that wanted Carmilla to stay.

“Miss Karnstein,” she called out just before Carmilla had left her sight. Laura cursed her mouth for speaking before she could think it through, but it was too late. Carmilla had turned around, looking at Laura curiously. 

“Something on your mind, Teach?” Carmilla asked.

“Why did you join this club? It doesn’t seem to really be in your nature to...socialize. Especially not with this particular group of people.”

“Well, you can’t win everyone over,” Carmilla said as she sauntered back into the room, standing just off to the side of Laura’s desk. “Besides not everyone hates me. Laf doesn’t mind.”

“I didn’t mean to imply that people...hated you,” Laura said hastily, feeling bad.

Carmilla shrugged once more. “It’s not like it’s a big secret around here. I’m the black sheep of the school.”

Carmilla said it so honestly, so unflinchingly, but Laura could see something flash in her eyes. Deep down, Carmilla was hurt. Laura could see it, but she didn’t know what to do about it. Once again, she realized the teen had much more to her than met the eye. 

“Don’t say that Miss Karnstein.” Laura wanted to placate her and say something reassuring, but she couldn’t think of anything. “So, you chose the Rainbow Club because Lafontaine joined it.”

“Not really. Apparently extracurricular activities look great on transcripts, and I figured this one would piss off my mom the most.” Carmilla then smiled, biting her bottom lip softly, and took a step closer to Laura. “Besides, this club suits me. Everyone knows I’m popular with the ladies.”

And just like that the inappropriate flirting was back. Laura was amazed at how quickly Carmilla could go from something resembling tentative and honest to brash and confident in a matter of seconds. It was as if the singer could flip a switch and hide what little bit of her true colours she had started to show. It was frustrating to Laura, but at the same time it was fascinating. There was more to Carmilla. Laura had never been more positive of anything. And she was definitely going to find out what more there was.

The bell rang, interrupting the staring match which had been going on while Laura had been lost in her thoughts. Slightly embarrassed, Laura looked down and took a step backward away from Carmilla. She cleared her throat, but no words came out. Something about Carmilla seemed to diffuse much of Laura’s coherence.

“Guess I better go then, eh Teach?” 

“Yeah, guess so,” Laura mumbled. When she finally looked back up, the teen was almost out the door. Once again, Laura called her back. “You were amazing on Friday. You sang beautifully.”

Carmilla smiled, and it was the first time Laura had seen the girl genuinely smile without the pretence of sarcasm or seductiveness behind it. It was dazzling.

“Thanks. See ya around, Cupcake.”

\---

For the first time that year, Laura had gotten a day off from supervising detention, and for the first time she would give anything to actually supervise it. She had arrived to school that Wednesday morning to find an ominous email in her work account mailbox, stating that another teacher would be covering detention that day because the principal wanted to have an after school meeting. It had sent Laura into a downward spiral all day, and by the time the final bell rolled around it took all her nerve to not sprint for her car and run away.

Sure, Laura had wanted to eventually meet with the principal. It was all a part of her plan to impress the daunting woman. But they were not yet even a month into the school year, and Laura surely hadn’t had any time to impress the principal yet. That being said, there was only one reason Laura could think of for why she was being summoned to the head office- she was in trouble. She had no idea what for, and she wasn’t even sure she had done something which would warrant getting in trouble- save for her inappropriate fantasies, but if the principal could read minds that would be a whole new battle anyway- but Laura was scared regardless.

Danny had tried to comfort Laura, telling her not to worry. She said it was completely normal for the principal to seek meetings with all the staff early in the year. Danny said it was her way of making sure she had the entire school under her thumb from the beginning of the year until the end. It comforted Laura, but only slightly as she was now having visions of the principal having some sort of mind control device in her office which she would use to brainwash Laura into becoming some sort of evil minion to do evil bidding without having any control over her own actions.

Danny had offered to accompany her to the office, but Laura couldn’t let her do that. Her kind of sort of girlfriend was coaching the first volleyball game of the season which was scheduled to start only ten minutes after the final bell. Laura couldn’t take her away from that. Especially not when she was just being irrational and silly. There was surely nothing to worry about; this was the principal of a school, not some egotistical boot camp drill sergeant or a rampaging, mind controlling alien hell bent on destroying the earth, for gosh sake.

Somehow, despite all her fear, Laura had managed to make her way to the principal’s office without losing all rational thought and bolting for a warmer, safer climate. She took a deep breath before entering the ‘outer’ office where the lone, exhausted looking secretary was currently talking on a phone. The grey haired lady nodded as Laura entered, holding up a finger to signal she should wait for a moment. After a few moments, the call ended and the secretary put down the phone with a long, drawn out sigh.

“Sorry about that dear,” she said. Laura liked Mrs Corvae. She smelled like smoke and had a dubious and dark fashion sense, but she was kind and had to have an enormous amount of patience to have put up with her job for so many years. “Principal Karnstein currently has another meeting, but she should be ready to see you in a minute or two. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Laura nodded, offering the older woman a smile before sitting down. She tried to prepare herself for multiple possibilities of whatever was about to come, but for some reason the mind control thing was the most common vision still coming to mind. Mrs Corvae had to leave for a moment to take care of what Laura was sure was a smoke break, not an administrative issue, leaving Laura to herself in the quiet room, waiting. That’s when she realized she could hear the conversation going on just on the other side of the door.

“Can’t say I’m surprised really.” Laura recognized the voice of Principal Karnstein, however muffled, from her initial meetings with the woman. Whoever she was talking to, she sounded annoyed. “You’ve never shown an ability to even be halfway competent.”

The other person replied, but they spoke so quietly Laura had no hope of recognizing who it might be. Whatever it was they said, it caused the principal to laugh humourlessly.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing?” the principal said. “I see right through your little scheming. But it won’t work. You’ve always been a disappointment and a failure. And when your little show of rebelliousness is over, don’t expect any help from me this time around. You’re lucky I was so understanding after your last little tryst.”

Laura couldn’t believe what she was hearing, but it definitely wasn’t making her feel any better about her upcoming meeting. She couldn’t believe the principal could be that crass and, quite frankly, so verbally abusive and insulting. She was getting personal too. Laura’s self preservation instincts were telling her to run. But her curiosity was winning over and telling her to stay, to find out who had pissed off the principal to such an extent as to warrant a personal calling out.

“I thought you might think of your own future for once. I know you never cared for me at all, but I thought you at least had an ounce of something other than pure stupidity. Or maybe I thought you would try to do better for her. But I guess not. You are by far my biggest disappointment yet. Now get out of my sight.”

Too quickly, before Laura had the opportunity to gather her wits and disguise her not so subtle eavesdropping, the door to the office was flung open. Laura’s jaw dropped as Carmilla exited, shoulders slumped in defeat. Laura had never seen the girl look anything other than confident- or perhaps cocky- but right then her posture told the story. Carmilla looked almost broken, like she was trying to hide or something. All of a sudden, Carmilla looked up slightly and their eyes met. Carmilla’s eyes were shining with what Laura knew were unshed tears. But then Carmilla saw her looking, or perhaps she saw the look of pity Laura knew flashed across her face, and Carmilla’s expression hardened. Squaring her shoulders, she stormed past Laura without a word and took off.

Reeling, Laura barely registered the principal beckoning her in. Her previous dread was nothing compared to the emotion filling her now. She recalled the vicious words, and her heart ached for Carmilla. She looked up at the principal, sitting regally behind her desk draped in shadows from the low light in the office, and she felt scared. But more than that, Laura was beginning to feel anger. Who spoke to their daughter like? Over the few weeks she had gotten to know Carmilla, Laura didn’t think anything could shake the girl, much less reduce her to tears. But here was her very own mother, doing the damage unflinchingly.

“Welcome, Miss Hollis,” the principal said warmly. “Please take a seat. I hope you’ve been enjoying your first few weeks at Silas High. I must say, I am pleasantly surprised by the positive feedback I’ve been receiving from your fellow faculty.”

It went on for minutes. The principal praising her and thanking her for filling in on such short notice, all providing a thin cover for some thinly veiled threats about how she better keep it up and not toe the line. Laura could hardly take it in though. She couldn’t care less about the praise- something which was not at all in her usual nature- and she didn’t quake in her seat at the threats. All she could think about was Carmilla. The girl was still a mystery, but now Laura knew she had to solve that mystery more than ever. She had a feeling Carmilla needed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about posting this a day late...I had the chapter written, just couldn't find the time to do one final read through and post it.   
> Thanks again for the wonderful response to date. Thank you for taking the time to read this.  
> Kudos make a great birthday gift...they're free too!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things get a little hot and a little sweet...and then go downhill faster than Laura's baking skills.

Carmilla honestly had no clue what she was doing up at an ungodly hour of the morning on a weekend. She had been stifling yawns since the alarm on her phone woke her up an hour previous. She had taken a cold shower, thinking the frigid water might help wake her up, but nada. Even the Tim Horton’s coffee- black and extra strong- she had clutched in her hand wasn’t helping. Carmilla just wasn’t built to be up before nine in the morning. Especially on a weekend.

If anyone had asked, Carmilla would probably tell them she was doing it for Lafontaine. She was doing it for the only person in the entire high school- and probably the whole city, for that matter- who didn’t look at her like she was carrying some sort of transmittable disease or was an axe murderer waiting to pounce. She was doing it because Laf was the closest thing she had to a friend at the godforsaken school and said almost friend was also going through a bit of an identity crisis. But those were lies. Carmilla knew exactly who she was doing this for, and that knowledge didn’t make her any happier to heading into the school at practically the ass crack of dawn on a Sunday morning.

Laura Hollis irked Carmilla to no end. She was infuriatingly annoying and sunshiny and a know it all who thought she knew it all but probably didn’t. She was far too inquisitive and had horrible taste in women and a corny taste in fashion. She was too damn beautiful and it was messing with Carmilla’s head, as evidenced by her current situation. 

Laura had started off as a game to Carmilla. Like her numerous nightly conquests, Laura had started off as just a game. It amused Carmilla to push Laura’s buttons, and at first that’s all it had been. Like Carmilla did with all the teachers at the school, it was fun to push and to see what they would let her get away with. Carmilla wanted to see how far she could push the young, ambitious teacher before she broke. It was no different than it was with anyone else. But then the game started to change. Then it became fun to see how often she could get the young teacher to blush. Then it became fun to see how often she could get the girl to stare at her. Then it became too real, and unlike her other conquests Carmilla no longer had any idea what she was after or where the game was heading. All Carmilla knew was that the game was quickly getting out of control, and the stupid teacher held some weird power over Carmilla and she didn’t like it one bit. 

Hence the heading into school at an hour so early she didn’t even want to pull out her phone and check the actual time.

Carmilla sighed as she pulled open the doors to a back entrance of the building. Laura probably didn’t even have any idea that she plagued Carmilla’s dreams at night. She probably didn’t have any idea of the inner turmoil building inside Carmilla. She didn’t have any idea that she could ruin Carmilla so easily if given the chance. And, if the smells wafting out from the kitchen were any indication, Laura Hollis didn’t have any idea how to bake cupcakes.

“Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap!” The shorter brunette was flailing as she used one oven mitt to pull a tray of something rather blackened out of the industrial sized oven and another to beat at the viscous smoke pouring out, trying to dissipate it. She looked frantic, and Carmilla tried to ignore the wild beating of her heart at how adorable it was.

“Wow Cupcake,” she drawled. She saw Laura jump at the words, not realizing anyone had been there to bear witness. “Sure smells good in here.”

Laura turned around slowly and sheepishly. She was blushing deeply as she set the tray down on the counter. “Carmilla. Miss Karnstein, I mean. What are you doing here?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes at the formalness. “Seriously Teach, when we’re not in school officially I think it’s okay if you call me Carmilla. But what do you mean? We agreed to meet at eight for the baking day, remember?”

“Um, actually...the time was changed to ten o’clock. Theo had some kind of emergency football meeting. It was posted in the Facebook group.”

“There’s a Facebook group?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you on it? J.P. created it a few days ago.”

“Oh, that makes sense then. Wouldn’t expect J.P. to lower his standards enough to add me to it,” Carmilla quipped and Laura frowned at her words. “So, you’re on Facebook then, Teach? I’m insulted. Where’s my friend request?”

“I don’t...I’m not...I don’t add students on Facebook,” Laura sputtered vehemently. “I’m merely a page administrator.”

“Too bad,” Carmilla clucked her tongue. “I have some pretty great pictures up on there, if I do say so myself.” Carmilla could tell the teacher had taken that exactly in the way she had meant it. She smirked to herself, but decided to cut Laura some slack and change the topic. “So what are you doing here then? I mean, I have an excuse- nobody told me about the time change.”

Laura looked mildly embarrassed. “I thought it might be good if I came early to, uh, practice. I’ve never really baked anything by myself before.”

“You don’t say,” Carmilla said sarcastically. “I never would have guessed.”

Laura pouted, and Carmilla tried her best to not stare at her full bottom lip jutting out oh so deliciously but ultimately failed. As cute as it was, though, Carmilla really wanted to see her teacher smiling instead. There was something rather irresistible about her smile.

“Why don’t we try again?” Carmilla suggested. “I’m sure the two of us together can figure something out.”

Suddenly the pout was gone and Laura was beaming. Carmilla felt her heart flutter at how bright and vibrant it was. She also felt some very faint stirrings of pride at being the one to make the teacher so happy. Carmilla briefly wondered if the red headed giant could make Laura smile like that, but she quickly shut the thought down. If there was one topic guaranteed to ruin her semi good mood, it would involve the person Laura Hollis was so clearly dating.

“Thank you Miss- er, Carmilla,” Laura smiled. “So, where do you suggest we start?”

“The garbage,” Carmilla replied without missing a beat. She picked up the tray filled with blackened, misshapen things and took it over to a large garbage can to empty it. It took quite a bit of banging to finally get all the supposed cupcakes into the trash, and when she finally turned around Laura was looking sheepish again. “Ever heard of cupcake liners, Teach?” Carmilla asked with a smirk.

“Sorry. I knew I was forgetting something.”

Carmilla shrugged. “No worries. We’ll just start from scratch.”

“I have a recipe here,” Laura said eagerly. She seemed anxious to prove herself. “I thought I followed it correctly, but I guess some stuff probably went wrong somewhere along the line.”

Carmilla pretended to be interested in the recipe, but she barely glanced at it. Truthfully, she had been cooking meals for herself ninety percent of the time since the age of eleven. She somehow seemed to have a bit of a knack for kitchen stuff, and had since learned recipes only held back some truly, experimentally delicious creations. Carmilla didn’t want to tell any of that to Laura, however. She knew the teacher would only look at her piteously if she knew of Carmilla’s need to fend for herself, and she hated that look.

It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes for Carmilla to realize Laura was more than just a little bit incompetent at baking. The girl was a downright menace. She was far too heavy-handed with the sugar, loathe to use even the tiniest amount of salt no matter how many times Carmilla told her it was necessary, seemed to have the muscular endurance of a toddler when it came to stirring, and she spilled so many ingredients it was amazing anything ever actually made its way into the bowl. And none of that even began to merely touch how truly horrible she was at cracking eggs.

By the time they had two of the large ovens filled with trays and baking away, Carmilla was absolutely covered in flour. Also a yellow sticky substance which she knew came from a so called ‘egg-speriment’ of Laura’s and she also knew would likely not come out of her shirt. Carmilla had never had any use for an apron before, but she had also never baked with Laura Hollis before. The teacher looked just as covered as Carmilla did, but unlike Carmilla she was grinning ear to ear.

“Oh my goodness,” she was gushing as she scraped every last bit of remaining batter out of a mixing bowl. “Oh wow,” she moaned, causing that strange little fluttering thing in Carmilla’s chest again. “If this batter is any indication, these cupcakes are gonna be so amazing!”

“Well of course they are,” Carmilla drawled. “Did you really expect anything less than perfection from me?”

Laura rolled her eyes, flicking Carmilla with the tiniest bit of batter. Carmilla didn’t even flinch- she was already covered with so much stuff a little bit more wouldn’t matter in the slightest. She felt herself smiling against her will as she took in the sight of her teacher before her, mixing bowl clutched in her grasp and ginning like a kid on Christmas morning as she devoured the batter. Carmilla wondered if the girl had any idea of how adorable she was. She had no doubt that Laura Hollis could make anyone do anything for her if she really wanted to.

“So what next Cupcake?” Carmilla asked, mainly to break her own fixation on the cuteness. “Should we try red velvet or chocolate?”

“Chocolate!” Laura squealed excitedly before blushing. “Uh sorry,” she said somewhat sheepishly before darting out her tongue to catch a drip of batter off the spatula before it fell to the floor. “I just really like things with chocolate.”

So off they went again, Carmilla trying mightily to keep the process on track while Laura unintentionally did everything in her power to start the most epic food fight in history. It didn’t take long for an extra scoop of sugar to be added, with Laura innocently claiming her hand slipped. Carmilla rolled her eyes but said nothing because she had an annoying soft spot for the teacher. When the timer went off to indicate their first batch of cupcakes was finished baking, Carmilla had to react quickly to grab Laura and pull her back before she practically dove headfirst into the hot oven.

“Easy there Cutie,” Carmilla said. She tried to ignore how her arms felt, wrapped around Laura’s waist. She tried to disregard how it felt to be pressed up so closely behind the girl. She tried to tell herself the hitch she heard in Laura’s breath was simply due to her near brush with death and nothing else. Carmilla tried to do all of this, but it didn’t exactly work.

“Sorry,” Laura said, sounding distinctly breathless. “I just got excited.”

It was becoming difficult for Carmilla to form coherent thoughts as she held Laura. And to make matters even worse, the teacher was making no move to extricate herself from Carmilla’s embrace. Part of Carmilla wished to push the envelope. Maybe hold Laura a little closer or run her hands up the teacher’s torso. But Carmilla ignored that part of her mind and stepped away, immediately regretting the loss as soon as her arms were empty. 

“See Cupcake,” she drawled, picking up a pair of oven mitts and waving them. “There’s this amazing invention on the market which keeps you from burning your hands off. Maybe we should use them.”

Laura pouted as she grabbed the mitts from Carmilla and jammed them onto her hands. “I know that. I just got excited,” she repeated.

Once the tray of cupcakes was out of the oven and placed on racks to cool, Carmilla once again had to work hard to keep Laura from eating them before they cooled.

“Just a little nibble,” Laura argued. “Just a tiny taste won’t hurt.”

“Seriously Teach? These came out of the oven thirty seconds ago. You’re gonna burn your tongue off- which would be unfortunate as it’s such a useful part of your body.”

Laura blushed. “But they have to be cool by now don’t they?”

“Just chill! They’ll still be sitting there in ten minutes for you to devour.”

It took much convincing, but finally Carmilla got Laura to refocus. They finished mixing the chocolate batter and took the remaining batches out of the ovens when finished. When they finally put the new batches in, however, it was a lost cause. Laura flew over to the cooling racks and had a cupcake unwrapped and bitten into before Carmilla could even react. Then Laura was gushing and moaning about how amazing it tasted and Carmilla fought hard to reel in her fantasies before they could take hold. It was bad enough the teacher had started stalking her dreams at night, she didn’t need to start daydreaming about her as well.

“I’m surprised Teach,” Carmilla said as she watched Laura tear into her second cupcake. “With how much you love these things I thought for sure you’d have had experience baking them.”

Laura shook her head. “My dad could cook meals well enough, but he never had a knack for baking. Luckily there was this amazing bakery right around the corner from our house. Pretty much all my allowance money went towards cupcakes and cookies.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Carmilla smirked, mainly to herself. She hopped up on a relatively clean part of the counter. “So what about your mom? Did she not have baking skills either?”

Laura took her time finishing her cupcake, looking unusually solemn. When she spoke, she was quieter than Carmilla had ever heard her. “My mom passed away when I was seven.”

“Oh, uh sorry.”

Carmilla had always been awkward in situations like this, and immediately started kicking herself for bringing up the subject. She had never been really great with people skills- the skills it took to get people into bed were another matter altogether- but it had become even worse in the recent months since returning to the city. Carmilla just generally, as a rule, didn’t care about anyone other than herself, so she never took the time to figure out how to respond in different situations. The problem was, with Laura she found herself caring. But she still had no idea what to say. Luckily, it was her teacher who broke the short silence.

“It was a long time ago.” She shrugged nonchalantly, but Carmilla could tell it bothered her more than she let on. 

“Being a long time ago doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt,” Carmilla said quietly, hoping it was the right thing. It appeared it might be, as the young teacher hopped up onto the counter beside Carmilla. Their hands rested an inch, if that, away from each other.

“I try to be grateful for the memories I have of her,” Laura said. She was looking down, not making eye contact with anything but the floor. “But I feel so cheated most of the time. I wonder why I never got to spend more time with her, you know? Why only seven years of memories and not seventy?” Laura sighed. “I’m sorry...I probably shouldn’t be talking about this with you...with a student.”

“My dad died,” Carmilla blurted out suddenly. Her eyes widened as soon as she did- she wasn’t normally the type of person to share something personal with anyone- and she wished she hadn’t said anything at all. But Laura was looking at her now, looking at her with those amazingly piercing eyes and Carmilla couldn’t help but continue. “It was a few years ago now. I was fourteen. So obviously I had him around for longer than you had your mom, but I still get it- uh, you know, the conflicting emotions and stuff,” she finished lamely.

“I’m sorry about your dad, Carmilla,” Laura said softly after a few moments of not necessarily uncomfortable silence.

Carmilla shrugged. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

There was more silence, but once again it was not uncomfortable. Laura was gazing at Carmilla like she was something new and wonderful, and Carmilla wanted it to be true so desperately. She wanted Laura to always be looking at her that way- like she was important and had something to offer. Carmilla was so wrapped up in Laura’s eyes she didn’t realize they had been unconsciously leaning closer to one another until there were only mere centimetres left between them. Carmilla reached up her hand, using a patch of flour on Laura’s cheek as an excuse.

“You had some- um, flour,” Carmilla breathed in explanation, but she didn’t remove her hand. She allowed her thumb to stroke across her teacher’s cheekbone, and when Laura leaned into her touch she could have cried. This wasn’t the drunk Laura of the previous weekend. This Laura was sober and in control of herself and she still looked like she wouldn’t complain if Carmilla closed the last bit of distance between to kiss her and Carmilla wanted to, oh she wanted to so desperately and she couldn’t care less that Laura was her teacher and they could both get in a world of trouble for it. Consequences be damned, Carmilla thought as she crept closer and felt Laura’s breath drift across her lips. She let her eyes flutter closed.

When the squeak of a door opening broke through the silence in the kitchen, Laura jumped so high Carmilla was worried she would crack open her skull against the cabinet above her. But then the teacher was off the counter and about fifteen feet away and Carmilla couldn’t help but feel vaguely hurt by the reaction even though she knew it was practical. Sulking, she plucked a cupcake from the rack beside her and slowly unwrapped it.

“Wow it smells amazing in here!” Laf exclaimed as they walked in with Perry and J.P. in tow. “Miss H I didn’t know you could bake!”

“Actually it was Miss Karnstein here who did most of the work,” Laura said in a voice a little higher than normal. Carmilla would’ve smirked at the obvious indication of how skilled she was, but she was still sulking.

At the mention of Carmilla, Laf looked genuinely happy but the other two didn’t even pretend. Carmilla rolled her eyes, giving them all a sarcastic wave. She knew the entire school hated her slash was scared of her- and normally Carmilla enjoyed having that power very much- but every now and then it got a little stale.

“So we’ve clearly got a good start on the cupcakes,” Perry said, making her way over to an island and dumping an armful of supplies on top. “Shall we get started with everything else?”

Within thirty minutes everyone else had arrived and Carmilla would’ve rather poured drain cleaner in her eyes than actually admit it, but she was actually having fun. Sure, nobody save for Lafontaine actively tried to engage her in any conversation and Laura couldn’t even bring herself to meet Carmilla’s gaze, but there was something rather cheerful about being in a kitchen surrounding by delicious smells and laughter and loud music- even it was autotuned top forty crap. The atmosphere was infectious and Carmilla got caught up in it. She almost felt like an actual part of the group.

They naturally split up into different jobs, and Carmilla didn’t mind that she had been shunted to the role of decorator. She was fine with no one knowing of her kitchen prowess- it didn’t really fit with her image, after all- and it was entertaining to watch everyone else. And by everyone else she meant Laura. The tiny teacher promoted herself to the title of taste tester, which meant she got to try a bite of absolutely every single item which came out of the ovens. She was still covered in flour and bits and pieces of dough and egg, and Carmilla thought she may have been the most adorable thing ever. Lafontaine eventually got kicked off of baking duty due to too much experimentation with ingredients, and when they came over to the decorating station things became even better. Carmilla almost felt like she had friends.

When the door to the kitchen opened once again, Carmilla didn’t really think anything of it. Until, that was, she heard the cheery greetings which made her stomach turn.

“Miss Lawrence!”

“Oh hey Miss L, cool of you to stop by!”

“Danny! Hey...what are you doing here?”

Carmilla finally looked up from the cupcake she was currently embellishing to see her arch nemesis in Amazonian form sweep her favourite teacher up in a tender hug. Carmilla frowned. Naturally she would never actually be able to enjoy anything for long.

“Hey guys...Laura mentioned you all were doing your baking today, so I thought I would come by to lend a hand,” the redhead said, with her arm casually draped across Laura’s shoulders. Carmilla stared at that arm, despising it.

“Really cool of you Miss L,” Lafontaine said with a grin, but they side eyed Carmilla afterwards. Carmilla knew she was outwardly projecting a furious tension, but she also knew Laf wouldn’t question it- there was no love lost between Carmilla and the bio teacher, and almost everyone knew it.

The baking recommenced, but Carmilla felt none of its earlier appeal. Danny seemed to be practically glued to Laura’s side, reaching things for her and passing things to her and brushing up against her unnecessarily. Every now and then Carmilla could feel Laura’s eyes on her- the fact that she could now discern the teacher’s gaze without even seeing it was only slightly alarming- but this time it was Carmilla who wouldn’t meet the gaze. She focused on whatever task was at hand, responding only in monosyllables whenever Laf would try to engage her in a conversation. Things weren’t even remotely close to fun anymore, but Carmilla stuck it out. She stuck it out until the big redhead opened her big mouth.

“I’m surprised they let students with such appalling track records partake in extracurricular activities,” Danny said to Laura in a loud and obvious stage whisper. Carmilla rolled her eyes.

“Oh well,” Laura shifted uncomfortably and her eyes met Carmilla’s for a brief second before Carmilla averted her gaze. “It wouldn’t be very inclusive of us to exclude anyone, right?”

“You’re too good,” Danny said with a smile, planting a kiss on Laura’s cheek. Carmilla’s stomach turned. “But you know it would be okay to make exceptions. You might want to consider the effect it might have on the other students in the group. It certainly won’t do you guys any favours with the rest of the student body.”

Carmilla gave Laura a full five seconds to respond, but when all the girl did was stand there and gnaw on her bottom lip she had enough. She wasn’t about to sit there and let that idiot giant blatantly talk down about her. She stood up abruptly.

“I just remembered I have to be anywhere else right now,” Carmilla said before she stormed out of the room. She could hear two voices- Laura and Lafontaine- calling after her, but Carmilla ignored them.

She had a smoke lit between her lips before she even made it to her car. Carmilla wasn’t a fool. She knew she deserved a lot of the shit she got from people, and she gave it back as good as she got it. She wasn’t a saint, and she didn’t expect people to simply extend an olive branch. But nobody had ever tried. Nobody had ever stopped and asked what had made Carmilla the way she was. And although Carmilla would deny it to her dying day, every now and then it actually hurt.

\---

“I can’t believe people are actually buying these things,” Carmilla commented as more coins dropped into a tin and more students walked away with treats in their hands.

“Why not?” Laf asked. “We killed it- everything is so good.”

Yet another student came up to their table and exchanged a loonie for a giant chocolate chip cookie. Carmilla waited until they had walked away before responding.

“Yeah but- honestly we should just change this group’s name to the reject club. Admit it Laf. There’s not a single one of us who’s actually popular. Except for maybe Theo, if he wouldn’t beat up every single person who tries to talk to him.”

“Rejects we are,” Lafontaine acquiesced with a grin. “But food transcends all levels of social status.”

“You are such a loser,” Carmilla scoffed, albeit with a slight grin.

There was a moment of quiet before Laf spoke again. “So I was thinking,” they began, pausing only to complete another sale, “that maybe I could officially come out to Perry during a Rainbow Club meeting. Tell her everything I’ve been discovering about myself over the summer.”

Carmilla’s eyebrows rose. The almost friendship between the two of them had formed primarily off the basis that they were both screwed up and stunted emotionally, and both had super huge issues. The main difference between them was that Lafontaine was open to talking about it, and was clearly making progress. The day Carmilla opened up and let anyone in would probably be the day the Leafs finally won another Cup.

“You’re ready for that?” Carmilla asked.

Laf shrugged one shoulder. “She’s my best friend. She deserves to know that I have no idea who I am entirely.” They smiled tiredly. “Plus, I’m kinda tired of her calling me Susan all the time.”

Carmilla nodded, understanding. “Well, if you’re sure tell me when exactly you’re gonna drop the bomb so I can be there as your backup.”

“Aw, look at that. I knew you cared, deep down.”

“Shut up,” Carmilla threatened.

“Admit it,” Laf grinned. “I’m your friend. The frosty and mysterious Carmilla Karnstein finally has a friend.”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Sure. Best friend ever, buddy ol’ pal of mine,” she said monotonously.

Though deep down, she knew they were right. And she appreciated it, even if she knew she would never express it to the biology nerd. They had been there for Carmilla, never even asking for any explanations. Just being there whenever she needed somewhere to run who wasn’t a one night stand or her aunt’s always welcome but sometimes suffocating home. It was nice to have that, and Carmilla wasn’t sure what exactly would’ve become of her if she didn’t have it.

Her inner soliloquy was broken by the appearance of a certain teacher in front of their sale table. Carmilla sighed. Laura had been unflinchingly nice to her all day. When she had walked into class fifteen minutes after the bell, Laura had simply smiled and welcomed her to class. She also hadn’t rebuked Carmilla for blatantly texting in class, and she had even managed to take one of Carmilla’s sarcastic comments at the expense of another student and turn it into an extension of her lecture. It had annoyed Carmilla endlessly. Yes, she wanted someone to take the time to try and dig deeper into the reasons behind her being a merciless monster. But she didn’t want that to be out of pity. And Laura simply had no other reason to be trying to make amends- it wasn’t as if she actually genuinely like Carmilla or anything.

“Hiya Miss H!” Laf greeted cheerfully. “We’re selling loads- we’ve already got at least forty bucks in here!”

“That’s great!” Laura said enthusiastically. Then she pulled a folded ten dollar bill out of her pocket. “I’d like two cupcakes and a cinnamon roll please.”

“Teach, isn’t donating money to your own group a little self indulgent?” Carmilla asked, ignoring the elbow in the ribs and the whispered hiss to ‘behave’ she received from Lafontaine.

“Self indulgent or not, I spent seven hours yesterday smelling all of this baking. I can’t possibly resist.”

She pressed the purple bill into Carmilla’s hand, and Carmilla smirked at the faint dusting of pink on Laura’s cheeks when their fingers met. Carmilla intentionally kept her hand pressed against the teacher’s for a moment too long, and the blush increased. She loved seeing that colour on Laura Hollis’ cheeks. And she loved that she put it there. It was such a fun little game.

It was as Carmilla was grabbing the right products to hand over to her teacher that she received another dig in the side. This time though, she actually paid attention to it. 

“Karnstein senior alert,” Lafontaine whispered harshly.

Carmilla looked up to see that Laf was right; there, striding through the hallway straight towards them and parting the students like the Red Sea was her mother. Carmilla’s first instinct was to run away, and it was her second instinct too, but she knew it was impossible. She had already been spotted. Her second instinct was to be sick. Under no circumstances did she want to interact with her mother and Laura at the same time. Carmilla’s mother had some sort of weird telepathy or something and she seemed to be able to pick up on anything and everything when it had to do with Carmilla. If she picked up on Carmilla’s attraction, it was sure to spell hell.

“Uh...hi there Principal K. Er, um...Principal Karnstein,” Laf greeted as the intimidating woman reached them and towered over where they sat. The only real thing Laf knew about Carmilla regarded her relationship with her mother. 

“Darling Carmilla,” her mother started, completely ignoring both the red head and the short woman standing nearby. Her voice was dripping with false sweetness. “I wasn’t aware you were partaking in any student activities this year.”

Carmilla didn’t know what to say. To confirm she was actually in the Rainbow Club would reignite arguments and wounds of old. But to deny it would be to put down her only friend and the current object of her affections. She really didn’t want either scenario to play out.

“Well, you know me, Mother,” Carmilla said blithely. “I’m a joiner.”

“How different from other years.” Her mother’s eyes were narrowed. “I must say I’m surprised by your choice of club...I thought we had talked about this.”

Carmilla knew her mother’s voice held a threat. And this wasn’t a battle Carmilla wanted to fight at the moment. Not when the two of them had just reached the lovely status quo of not having anything to do with one another besides living in the same house. She sighed. 

“Well, you know I always take the easy road,” she drawled, hating herself already. “It’s not like this particular club has any requirements to fill. Bottom feeders need members, and I need a good transcript.”

Beside her, she could feel Lafontaine flinch. Carmilla knew they knew all about the issues with her mother and they would understand, but Carmilla still hated hurting them. Harder to ignore was the way Laura’s expression fell and she looked like someone had kicked her puppy. But Carmilla did her best to keep her eyes solely on her mother, hoping she swallowed it.

“Yes, that does sound like you,” the principal said eventually. Carmilla was relieved. Maybe she wouldn’t have to deal with any fallout after all. One disaster averted. “You always have been a disappointment, after all. I’ll see you at home tonight, sweetheart.”

With that parting shot, the principal left. Carmilla could feel two sets of eyes on her, both pitying and judging her. She hated it. She hated having to dodge attacks from her mother, she hated having to bury the past, she hated knowing that she didn’t deserve pity or friendship. Without meeting either set of eyes, Carmilla stood up and flung the strap of her bag over her shoulder. She left without another word. She had had enough school for that day. Carmilla decided she would skip the rest of the day and spend her time trying to pick up a pretty college girl for the night. After all, she knew that’s all she was really good for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading everyone, you guys rock it's totally awesome!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Thanksgiving weekend has never been so overwhelming.

Being back in her childhood home felt almost suffocating to Laura. It wasn’t that the house was small- especially not compared to her new one bedroom apartment- or anything along those lines. It was more that ever since the very first second she had pulled into the driveway of the tidy suburban dwelling she had been engulfed by her dad’s natural worry. After having nearly two months of veritable freedom to do what she wanted when she wanted how she wanted, it felt rather restricting. The memories of her mom- or really, the lack of them- also made Laura ache.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t enjoy spending time with her dad. James Hollis was one of the nicest guys in the world, in her not so unbiased opinion. He had always tried to make sure Laura wanted for nothing, and he did it all while being both mother and father to her. Laura would never stop appreciating everything he ever done for her. But he was a worrier. He kept Laura homeschooled until she cried that she wanted to be like the normal kids. He talked her out of pursuing investigate journalism because it was no career for a young girl to have to travel and work strange hours on minimal pay until she made a name for herself. Her dad had also convinced her to go to a school where she could still live at home- all in the name of saving money, of course. But as Laura grew she began to realize that her dad didn’t want her leave; he wanted her to always be close enough to protect. As sweet as it was, having a brief taste of freedom had caused Laura to start resenting it.

Not that Laura would ever tell her dad any of those things. It was her first time back at home since accepting her new job, and even had it not been, Thanksgiving was not the time to bring up such issues. So she swallowed her annoyance and appeased her dad with watered down tales of how life as an adult was treating her. James didn’t seem to notice his daughter’s restlessness, and Laura was grateful. She didn’t want to break her dad’s heart with the knowledge she preferred life on her own rather than under his protective yet barricading wing.

“So how’s the apartment been?” James asked as they relaxed in front of the television to nurse their now bulging stomachs.

“It’s great dad,” she said, this time not altering the truth. She really did love her apartment, small and bland as it was. 

“So there have been no problems with security? No late night prowlers, or any homeless hanging around out front?” Laura sighed, rolling her eyes, but her dad pressed on. “I’m serious Laura. I know we already talked about this, but I would be more than happy to chip in a couple hundred every month so you could move across the city. It’s much safer on the opposite side of the park. I’ve spent the past couple of months researching the crime rates and I really think...”

“Dad, please stop.” Laura really didn’t want to start a fight on Thanksgiving. “I appreciate you looking out for me, really I do. But I can’t accept any more help from financially. I don’t want to owe you anything more.”

“You don’t owe me a cent Laura. It’s a father’s duty to do what he can to see his daughter succeed in life.”

“And you’ve already done so much for me,” Laura cut him off before he could continue. “But dad, part of me succeeding in life is being responsible for paying for my own apartment.”

James sighed. “I know. But Pumpkin, I’m still worried about security. I thought you would reject my offer of money, so I decided to go with another plan as well.”

Laura regarded the smile on her dad’s face with unease. “Should I be worried about this?”

“Absolutely not,” James insisted. “I know I’ve had a tendency to go overboard in the past, but this time I kept it within reason, I promise. Wait here for a minute.”

James stood up and made his way to the basement door, leaving Laura sitting on her own on the couch in the living room. She wondered how worried she should be about her dad’s plan. It wasn’t beyond reason- considering the things he’d done in the past- to speculate he might have visions of moving in with her. Or maybe he hired her a personal bodyguard. She wouldn’t be surprised either if he had bought the apartment on the floor right above hers. Actually, the more she thought about it, the more she figured that third option had to be the correct one. Her dad had been talking about downsizing for a while, even though both of them knew he could never leave the house where her mom had lived.

When her dad re-emerged from the basement, he was carrying a rather large and somewhat lopsided something in his arms. It was wrapped up like a typical present of some sort, and it calmed Laura’s imagination a bit. She figured a key would’ve fit in the palm of his hand. And surely some subscription to a bodyguard service would’ve done the same. Nevertheless, she was still nervous. And now puzzled as well.

“So as I’ve been saying, I’m worried about the security in your building.” As he sat down, Laura could see there were numerous holes punched in the wrapping paper. “And I knew it would be hard to get you to accept help, so I’ve been researching alternative security methods.”

Laura could also now see the package was shifting in his arms, as if something was moving around inside of it. She started to get a vague idea what her dad’s idea was. “Dad...” she started warily, but he ignored her.

“It turns out dogs are a great method of personal security. Of course, there was the small issue of most apartments not accepting pets. So I called your landlord, and he said that any pets under thirty-five pounds are acceptable, so long as you don’t get any noise complaints.”

“Dad...” Laura tried again, but James was having none of it. She could see how excited he was.

“So I started researching the most loyal and trainable small dog breeds. Of course, I also considered quiet as a requirement of my search. Then I started looking for reputable breeders. Of course, I didn’t want to get you a puppy, because then it could be months before it’s at a satisfactory protection level. And then- I did it. I found a breeder who trains show dogs who had the perfect option for you, and...well, here,” he finished. Then he thrust the package into Laura’s hands.

Laura sighed, regarding the package sitting on her lap. She knew what was inside, and she also knew she didn’t really have a choice but to face it. So she started unwrapping, hoping at least it was cute.

Underneath the wrapping was a travel sized crate, and inside the crate two of the roundest, oddest looking eyes she had ever seen gazed up at her. She warily undid the latch and the second she had the door open a black and white ball of fur bounded into her arms, jumped up to place its paws on her shoulders, and licked her cheek. And at that very moment, Laura knew her dad had won. The dog was hugging her. She already loved it.

“He’s a Boston Terrier,” her dad gushed. “Fourteen months old, and already trained. His name’s Molson.”

“I can’t believe you got me a dog without talking to me about it first!” Laura exclaimed, trying to not show how much she loved the feel of the little tiny paws dancing around on her lap. “And you named him after beer!”

“Hey, I didn’t name him!” James defended. “Besides, I tried changing his name to Spike, but he won’t answer to it.”

“Oh gosh, Spike’s even worse.” She managed to contain the energetic dog with the bulging yet cute eyes to sit nicely on her lap. “Okay. Let’s get serious here. How in the world do you think I can take care of a dog?”

“Well, as per all of your phone calls you have no problem taking care of yourself. So, what’s a dog?”

Laura paused for a moment. She knew if she admitted she was still learning how to take care of herself her dad would be moving in. But she wasn’t ready to admit defeat yet.

“Dad- I’m a teacher. I leave the house early and have to stay at the school all day. Sometimes I even have to stay late for meetings and running detention and stuff.”

“Molson is very well trained. The man I bought him from says if you leave his crate open with newspaper lining the bottom, any emergencies the dog has he’ll go right back there. And he said Molson is very well trained to not chew, but if you’re worried you could always leave him in the crate.”

“Okay fine. But how does me having to out in the dark to walk a dog for a bathroom break before bedtime make things safer for me?”

“It’s never a good idea to walk a dog where there’s no light anyway Laura. How would you pick up after him?”

Laura was starting to struggle. She was beginning to see just how much thought her dad had put into this. “Okay. But I’m on a strict budget so I can still save money. How am I supposed to afford food for him?”

“He’s not a Rottweiler. He only eats about a cup a day. And I have two full bags ready for you to take home with you.”

“What about vet bills?” Laura demanded, starting to feel as if she were grasping at straws.

“He’s fully licensed, and I took the liberty of taking him to vet already. He’s got all his shots, so you’re fine until his next yearly check-up. If you can’t save up a couple extra hundred in twelve months, than I am officially past worried about you living on your own.”

Between the adorable animal sitting on her lap and her dad’s well thought out arguments, Laura didn’t really have much left. “Well...I mean...how is it fair to buy an animal purely for my protection? He’s a living creature! He needs love! What if I can’t love him?”

James laughed as he watched Molson jump up and give Laura another puppy kiss. “Laura, honey, please remember...you’re the little girl who wanted to sit in the pet store out at the mall watching the puppies instead of meeting Santa. I had to take you out to that store every single week to see the puppies. You already love Molson.”

And as she looked down into Molson’s slightly lopsided puppy grin, she really couldn’t deny that one.

\---

Thanksgiving Monday was a bright, clear day. The weather was fantastic, which was a good thing for Laura, as she was relegated to walking home from a dinner at Danny’s. She realized she would be doing a lot more walking now, as she watched Molson sniff at a tree at the end of his leash. Realistically, she probably would’ve ended up having to do so anyway. Her car was one more breakdown away from being donated to a scrap metal business.

The look on her girlfriend’s face as she had opened up the door to see Laura standing there with a dog in her arms was priceless. Danny was clearly less than enthused, but to her credit she still let Molson run around her apartment with nothing more than a few disgruntled glances. Molson was very well behaved, but he didn’t seem to take to Danny. When Laura forced Danny to sit down and get to know her dog a bit, it had taken quite a lot of convincing to get him to jump up onto her lap. There had been no kisses for Danny from Molson, but Laura was quite happy to make up for her dog’s lack of loving.

Unfortunately, that had been about as good as it had gotten for their Thanksgiving date. It wasn’t that anything had gone wrong. The food had been delicious. Danny might not have been a world class cook, but she knew her way around the kitchen well enough. Everything Danny had planned for their afternoon together had been perfect. She had cooked a wonderful meal and picked the best wine. She had bought bakery fresh cupcakes for dessert and let Laura pick the movie they watched after eating. They had cuddled and shared some kisses and it had been a perfect date. The only problem was that Laura didn’t seem to like perfect.

Perfection had always seemed like something Laura wanted. The fairytales had prepared her for perfect prince charming. But now that she had perfect, Laura wanted something different. She wanted spontaneous. She wanted mishaps to be laughed about years down the road. She wanted rough kisses and gentle kisses, angry kiss and apology kisses. She didn’t want everything planned out so meticulously there was no room for error.

Laura felt like she was being petty. Danny was the perfect girlfriend. Only it was starting to feel as if maybe Danny wasn’t quite perfect for her. Laura knew she was being awful, but only a month into their relationship and it was starting to feel like she was dating her dad. There was just a slight sense of being mollycoddled, and Laura wanted to be free. For example, Laura thought it was sweet to have someone demand to be texted after she arrived home to make sure she was safe. What Laura found less sweet was arriving home and pulling out her phone to find six texts from Danny, each one more frantic than the last, wondering why she hadn’t called yet. 

Laura sighed, feeling awful for thinking the things she was. She watched as Molson finished his sniffing, ultimately deciding the tree wasn’t right for him, before they started walking again. Laura didn’t look up right away- she was much too wrapped up in her head- and by the time she realized she should be watching where she was going it was too late. The collision knocked her back a couple steps, but she managed to just keep her footing.

“Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, I...Carmilla?”

There could be no mistaking the dark hair, leather jacket and signature smirk. Of all the people Laura had to run into, it was her troublesome student.

“Damn. So close to making you fall for me Teach.” Molson, who seemed to have forgotten his duty was to protect Laura from strange people, was now sniffing around interestedly at Carmilla’s boots. “You have a dog?” Carmilla seemed surprised.

“Yup. As of two days ago.”

The statement fell flat, and the two of them entered a slightly uneasy silence. Things had been awkward following the baking day and the following confrontation with the principal. First, Laura had felt guilty listening to Danny talk down on Carmilla, knowing the teen could hear every word. Then, after hearing Carmilla so easily shoot down their club, which Laura was actually very proud of, it had made Laura angry. She didn’t want to believe the girl was actually as heartless as everyone would have her believe. After that, of course, had been the parting shot from her mother. It was the second time Laura had seen Carmilla look crushed after talking with her mom, and Laura was seriously beginning to worry about the dynamics of that relationship.

The problem with Carmilla was that for every time Laura felt remotely bad for the girl, she came right back with two new ways to piss Laura off. It was the most frustrating back and forth Laura had ever been part of. There were times she wanted to hold the trouble teen in her arms and save her from the cruel world, but then five minutes later she wanted to throttle the singer. When the flirting and obvious attraction from Carmilla- nobody could prove the attraction was mutual- was added to the mix, things just became weird. They had hardly spoken for a couple weeks. Even Carmilla’s endless flirting had taken a backseat.

“Good Thanksgiving?” Carmilla asked eventually.

“Oh, um yes.” Laura was surprised Carmilla had asked such a normal question without adding on an innuendo. “I went back home to see my dad Saturday and yesterday, and right now I’m coming home from...” Laura trailed off.

“Let me guess,” Carmilla said with an acidic tone. “You’re just coming home from a wonderfully perfect date.”

Laura didn’t know why she always felt awkward- and maybe even a little bit guilty- whenever the topic of Danny was brought up in front of Carmilla. The best she could chalk it up to was that the mutual animosity between her girlfriend and her student made it a touchy subject. Really though, Laura knew that wasn’t true. She just wished she could figure out what the truth was. Not that she would ever try too hard to do so.

“So um, how about you?” Laura asked, changing the subject. “Coming home from a nice Thanksgiving dinner?”

Carmilla shrugged. “Oh absolutely. I’m all about those Big Mac meals on special holidays.”

For a moment, Laura tried to tell herself that Carmilla was joking. She wanted to believe all the things she had started to think about Carmilla’s home and relationship with her mother were false. She wanted to delude herself into thinking that Carmilla was simply being Carmilla- sarcastic and unflinchingly so at that. But as Laura looked at Carmilla- really looked at her- she knew the girl was telling the truth. Under the tough exterior Carmilla looked defeated and sad.

“You spent your Thanksgiving at McDonald’s?” Laura clarified quietly

Carmilla shrugged once more. “Well mother dearest has been hosting the most elite socialites all weekend and I don’t really fit in with the suits and the cocktails and the relentless schmoozing of the most influential. We both decided it would be the best alternative to just disappear for the weekend. So I’ve been crashing at Blake’s all weekend.”

“Well at least you haven’t been alone then,” Laura said brightly, as always finding the silver lining in the situation.

“Blake’s spending Thanksgiving with my aunt. He doesn’t know I used his key.” Before Laura could respond, Carmilla- who looked more despondent than Laura had ever seen her- was speaking again. “Well I should get going. Gotta clean up Blake’s place before he comes back and figures out I was slumming it there and looks at me with the same sad, pitying puppy dog eyes you’re giving me. See ya at school, Teach.”

Carmilla pushed passed Laura and began to walk away. Laura just watched her go at first. She stared at the rounded shoulders and slumped head and realized Carmilla looked smaller than she ever had before. Laura couldn’t be sure what gave her the sudden inspiration, but all of a sudden she was calling out to the girl. She couldn’t let Carmilla leave like that.

“Do you want to spend the rest of your Thanksgiving with me?” Laura asked. One of Carmilla’s perfectly shaped eyebrows rose. “Let’s have our own Thanksgiving dinner. Nobody should be alone on a holiday.”

Carmilla stepped closer, smirking slightly and looking a bit like her old self. “You forget I’ve seen what you’re like in the kitchen. Do you really expect me to believe you can whip up a turkey dinner just like that?”

“Well...okay maybe not a real turkey dinner,” Laura admitted. “But I probably have something. I mean, it’s the thought that counts.”

“Well how could I refuse? Lead the way, Cupcake.”

It should have felt odd, walking with Carmilla and leading her home to her apartment. But it didn’t feel weird to Laura at all. They walked side by side with Molson confidently leading the way. How he knew his way home after only a few hours of living there was beyond Laura. But somehow he did, and somehow the silence between the three of them wasn’t awkward at all. Every now and then Laura would feel her left hand brush against Carmilla’s right. She wanted to hold that hand. She wanted to hold it when she hadn’t been drinking and see if it still felt the same. But she mastered the urge- somehow- and they made it back to the apartment without incident.

Laura felt embarrassed when she opened the door to her apartment and saw the mess inside, but Carmilla didn’t comment. She just shrugged out of her leather jacket and handed it over to Laura’s proffered hand. Laura hung it up and the two of them followed Molson further into the living room where the little dog was already making himself at home.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Laura said as she gestured to the couch. It was only then that she realized half of said couch was covered with unfinished grading and the piles of unorganized paper were hanging precariously off the edge. She rushed over to try and organize the chaos.

“Chill Teach,” Carmilla said. “I’m a teenager- you think I’ve never seen a mess before? Or caused one?”

Laura grinned. She wasn’t used to that sort of reaction. Danny never said anything, but Laura could tell she judged and she had caught her girlfriend on more than one occasion trying to subtly reduce the amount of mess everywhere. Carmilla had settled herself on the half of the couch which wasn’t a complete mess. Laura’s grin widened when Molson jumped up onto the couch beside her and Carmilla immediately stiffened and regarded the pup suspiciously.

“I’ll get something together for us,” Laura said as she made her way to the kitchen, which was open concept. “And don’t worry Carmilla- he doesn’t bite.”

She just managed to catch Carmilla’s eye roll before she turned to open the fridge. The only problem with Laura’s impromptu dinner invitation was that she hadn’t quite been sure whether or not she actually had any food in the fridge. And a quick scan told her that aside from two leftover pieces of pizza, she really didn’t. Laura closed the fridge and opened the freezer, wracking her brain. She had a couple TV dinners, but surely a holiday deserved better than that. She began to open all the cupboards she could reach, becoming increasingly frantic but trying to keep her panic quiet. 

“Ya know, Cutie,” came Carmilla’s voice from the living room, “usually when you invite someone over for dinner you make sure you actually have, like, food.”

“Oh shut up,” Laura grumbled. “I just got home from my dad’s and no stores are open.” She paused, eyeing a can of Alphagetti carefully. “What’s your opinion on highly processed foods?” There was no response. “Carmilla?” Laura called, a bit louder.

When there was still no response, Laura got slightly worried. Years worth of being the unpopular kid made her wonder if she had just been ditched. Trying to tell herself not to panic, Laura turned and made her way back into living room territory. When she saw the scene in front of her, it took Laura everything she had in her not to coo. Carmilla was sitting stiffly; straight backed and elbows extended and her hands clenched the fabric of the couch at her sides. She was staring down at her lap in disbelief, where Molson had curled up quite contentedly. Laura couldn’t stifle a little giggle. Carmilla’s head whipped around.

“Are you, um...scared of dogs?” Laura asked between giggles. The sight of big, bad Carmilla being so thrown off by a fifteen pound dog’s presence was hilarious to her.

“No!” Carmilla snapped. But then Molson shifted a little bit and she practically jumped a foot in the air. “Maybe I’m just more used to cats.”

Laura nodded. “Sure,” she said, only a touch sarcastically. Laura received a death glare in return. She decided it might be best to change the subject. “How do you feel about ice cream and chips?”

Carmilla smiled. “Sounds like a Thanksgiving dinner I’ll actually enjoy for once.”

Laura sighed in relief and stepped back into the kitchen to fill a couple bowls with various chip flavours and balance some ice cream and the necessary utensils on a tray. She made her way back over to the couch and set everything on the coffee table in front of it. It wasn’t until Laura went to sit down she remembered about the mess massively reducing the amount of space on said couch. She found herself sitting much closer to Carmilla than she probably should have, given she was her teacher and all. But she also found she didn’t want to move. Carmilla’s hand- still clenched around the cushion- was ever so faintly touching Laura’s thigh and it just seemed so right.

“So- uh...would you like to watch some Netflix or something?” Laura asked after a bit of silence.

Carmilla smirked. “Netflix and chill, eh Cupcake? Moving a bit fast there, aren’t we?”

“Carmilla!” Laura gasped. She felt her cheeks heat up. “That is not what I meant and you know it! I would never...”

“Chill Cutie. Can’t a girl joke around once in a while?” It was Laura’s turn to roll her eyes. Carmilla’s version of joking around was quite different from her own. “Go for it. As long as you don’t pick something lame.”

Laura had no idea what Carmilla’s version of something lame was. Nevertheless she grabbed her laptop, and eventually the two of them settled on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. As they sat there watching the show and eating junk food and chatting mindlessly, Laura realized how happy she felt. It didn’t feel like Carmilla was her student. It didn’t feel awkward or wrong or anything of the sort. It just felt right. Laura was ridiculously content, and judging by how Molson was snuggled into Carmilla’s lap and she was absentmindedly stroking the fur behind his ears, she wasn’t the only one.

“Is it sad that this is the best Thanksgiving I can remember having in a long time?” Carmilla asked as they began their third episode.

“Maybe,” Laura admitted, smiling sheepishly at the girl. “Is it sad if I agree?”

The two found themselves in a bit of a staring match after that. Carmilla had met Laura’s gaze and neither of them looked away after that. Laura knew she should, but the tiny voice warning her she was entering dangerous territory was growing fainter and fainter. It was ridiculously easy to ignore any reasons why she shouldn’t feel so content hanging out with Carmilla. It seemed natural when Carmilla smiled and Laura’s own grew to match it. It seemed normal when Carmilla carefully extended her arm to rest on the back of the couch behind Laura’s shoulders. It seemed perfect when Laura allowed herself to lean into the other girl’s touch.

Laura had no idea when she drifted off to sleep. One moment she could remember being cuddled up against Carmilla’s side, feeling positively giddy even as she could feel herself slipping into a junk food induced coma. The next thing she knew she cracked open her eyes to see a sleeping laptop screen. Laura felt warm and happy. There was a body pressing into her from behind and an arm wrapped securely around her waist. There was a pair of feet tangled with her own. Smiling, Laura snuggled back into Danny’s form, trying to remember if she had ever felt so good in her girlfriend’s embrace. Even Molson seemed to have come around to Danny’s presence. He too was snoozing, and Danny’s hand was resting gently on top of his fur as if she had fallen asleep stroking him. Laura grinned at the thought of them warming up to each other as she pictured the black painted fingertips gently scratching behind his ears....

Laura jerked upright suddenly. Molson startled and jumped off the couch with a disgruntled little yelp. Laura’s heart was pounding as she felt the body behind hers also stirring.

“You okay?” Carmilla mumbled sleepily.

Laura froze. She had fallen asleep with her student. She had fallen asleep with her student spooning her in her own apartment. She was so going to be arrested. And she was so going to hell.

“Cupcake?” Laura could feel Carmilla sitting up too. “Everything alright?”

“You should go,” Laura said shakily.

“Trying to get rid of me already?”

“Seriously Carm- er, Miss Karnstein. You need to leave now.”

Carmilla stiffened. “Is there a reason we’re suddenly so formal, Teach?” Her tone was frosty. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Laura repeated, incredulously. “Seriously? Carmilla we fell asleep...together! What if somebody had seen us? You’re my student! This is so illegal.”

“Chill out! We’re inside you apartment...nobody can see us!”

“And what if they see you leaving?” Laura jumped up from the couch and began pacing aggressively back and forth the tiny living room. “You shouldn’t be here! I don’t know what I was thinking. What if someone tells Danny...I mean, what if they tell the school board?”

“You sure this is about you getting in trouble, Teach?” Carmilla stood up too, coming to stand directly in front of Laura. “Or is this about the fact it was me who was holding you and not your gargantuan girlfriend?”

“Seriously? Can you really be this petty?”

“I’m not the one being petty!” Carmilla’s eyes were blazing. “It’s never like you’ve backed away from me. It’s not like you shoot me down. You’re the one who invited me back here!”

“Only because I felt sorry for you!” Laura defended.

“Oh, so I’m your little charity case now?”

Laura laughed bitterly. “What else could you be? You can’t honestly think it would be anything more than that. You’re a teenager and my student.”

“Bullshit! You’re just making up excuses because you’re scared. You can’t control who you have feelings for Hollis!”

They both froze at those words. Carmilla’s eyes widened. Laura wanted to feel good at those words. And in a way, she kind of did. But a feeling of almost terror overrode everything else. This was getting too real. If there were feelings involved on Carmilla’s part- obviously there were none present on Laura’s side of things, clearly- then things could get dangerous. Laura couldn’t let there be any truth to that statement. Not with Carmilla being her student. Not with Danny being her girlfriend.

“Feelings?” Laura laughed again. “Carmilla, you don’t do feelings! You flirt with every single thing that moves! And judging by the stories, flirting isn’t the only thing that you do. The way I hear it half the female population in the city has had a turn. Face it, Miss Karnstein, you’re incapable of feelings.”

It felt as if something had broken at Laura’s words. Carmilla’s gaze hardened. She was looking at Laura as if she was seeing someone entirely new. She looked hurt. Laura wanted to take the words back or apologize or do anything, but Carmilla never gave her a chance. Carmilla turned on her heel and stormed from the apartment without a backward glance, slamming the door behind her and leaving Laura feeling small and scared and awful and most definitely alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One goal I had set out for myself (not that I write for the accolades, it just was a benchmark) was to average around 1000 hits per chapter...holy hippogriffs thanks guys!!  
> Thanks for the bday wishes!  
> Fixed my stupid misgendering as well...thanks for pointing it out in the comments!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot of angst happens. Quite a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you all thought I had abandoned this, eh? For my pathetic explanation, please see the note at the end.
> 
> And as a warning, this chapter contains a fight scene and a backstory containing an OC death. In case anyone needs to skip some stuff.

Two weeks post the Thanksgiving Monday incident- as was Laura’s new preferred terminology to use when thinking about it- and she was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Laura had been ready- more than ready- to do battle with Carmilla before apologizing and grovelling endlessly. But none of that had been necessary. Carmilla had seemed nothing but her normal- or abnormal- self in the days since Laura spoke before thinking about it. In a way it was brilliant, because Laura hated eating crow. On the other hand, however, it was beginning to get tiring having to tiptoe around the girl, waiting for her to blow up.

Other than the Carmilla thing- and how her entire life was beginning to consist of one Carmilla thing after another was something Laura didn’t dare to dwell on- adult life was still going swimmingly for Laura. Molson had without a doubt become her best friend. Danny had actually let Laura pay for their last two dates. Laura had managed to successfully cook herself a meal for dinner which did not come premade in a box or a can. Best of all, Laura felt like a real teacher, making a real difference. If Laura ignored the nagging at the back of her mind to just get it over with and apologize to her student for being a complete ass, she really was happier than she had ever been.

One of the things which made her happiest of all was the Rainbow Club. They had made more from their bake sale than any single one of them had expected. Along with having some excellent and supportive group conversations, they had also come up with a plan to use their funds for various events which would get their message out to the rest of the school’s population. Laura was so proud of the way the small group of students had been bonding and working well together. Even Carmilla had contributed to the last couple meetings. 

“Hey Miss H, what do you think of this?” Laura looked up from her own somewhat pitiful drawing to check out the masterpiece Lafontaine had rendered. “Would this work for a poster design?”

Laura took a quick peek down at her own potential design- complete with stick figures and eraser marks- and then back to Laf’s comic book like, eye catching design. “That looks amazing Lafontaine. Why don’t you give it to J.P. so he can scan it in?” Laf grinned, saluted, and then took her design over to J.P.

“Great, we have another design. Can we stop doodling now?”

Laf just laughed at Carmilla’s sarcastic tone. “Just because we found something the mighty Carmilla isn’t good at doesn’t mean you have to get all angsty about it.” They gave Carmilla’s shoulder a playful shove.

Carmilla scowled. “I can draw just fine thank you very much. I just don’t understand why we’re still doing this if Theo and now Laf have already come up with good ideas.”

“If this is beneath you the door is just over there,” Theo said testily.

Sensing a battle brewing, Laura quickly jumped in. “Well, Miss Karnstein, variety is the spice of life. It wouldn’t hurt to have a few different posters to catch people’s attention.” 

Carmilla didn’t make eye contact. That was the one thing which had changed since the Thanksgiving incident. The inappropriate flirting and sultry looks and innuendos had pretty much completely disappeared. It was one indication which made Laura sure the girl hadn’t forgotten about the cruel remarks thrown her way. Aside from being unsettling, Laura found that she almost missed the flirtatiousness, no matter how inappropriate it may have been.

“Whatever. Just realize that the office will never give us approval to actually hang these. Letting our group host a bake sale was one thing. Actually promoting our heathen lifestyle is surely too much sin.”

Laura didn’t want to admit it, but she actually thought Carmilla had a valid point. It was something she had worried about as well. Any posters which one had intentions to display within the school had to first go through the principal’s approval system. Laura doubted the scary woman would actually approve their posters, but she wasn’t going down without a fight. They needed to get word about their group out there. In a school of over two thousand kids, Laura did not believe for one second that only eight of them were allies or members of the LGBT community. 

“Well it’s a good thing we have mommy’s dearest in our club then,” Theo remarked. “Pull some strings for us.”

“You know, that’s actually not a terrible idea,” J.P. joined in. “If membership in this club was based off contributions, we’d be short a member by now. Why not start contributing Carmilla?”

“Yeah Carmilla, start making yourself useful.” Theo’s tone was now taunting. Laura could see Carmilla’s shoulders stiffen. The girl looked torn between being angry and uncomfortable, but Laura didn’t think anyone besides her and Lafontaine noticed. “Suck up to mommy to help us out.”

“That won’t work guys, stop bugging the girl.” At first Laura thought Mel was about to stick up for Carmilla, but then she let out a sarcastic, braying laugh. “Karnstein junior here could never get her mommy to do anything for her.”

Carmilla’s gaze, which had been so carefully trained downwards on her poster design, suddenly snapped upwards. She glared at Mel. “Shut up,” she said in a dangerously quiet voice.

Laura wanted to jump in, and later she would curse herself for being so cowardly. Anyone with half a brain could tell something awful was brewing. The tension in the room was palpable. But Laura was transfixed, both too terrified and too fascinated to do anything other than sit and watch. And judging by the stillness of the room around her, Laura wasn’t the only one to feel that way.

“Mommy hates her eldest daughter, isn’t that right?” Mel goaded. “What an embarrassment having a gay, delinquent daughter has become.”

“Mel...” Lafontaine was the only one brave enough to say anything at all, but Mel continued.

“Maybe if it was daddy dearest as principal. Carmilla’s always been a daddy’s girl. Too bad he’s dead though, eh Carmilla? Dead and gone, just like someone elle...else.”

The deathly silence which filled the room after Mel’s venomous comment lasted for only a second. Then all hell broke loose.

Carmilla launched herself over her desk at Mel. The wooden table crashed to the ground, trying to take Carmilla with it, but she made it to Mel anyway, tackling the girl out of her seat. They both tumbled to the ground, becoming a tangled mess of fury and flying fists. Finally Laura’s paralysis broke, as did everyone’s it appeared. They all rushed to the fighting duo.

Laura and Theo got to the pair first. It was incredibly difficult to get involved without getting caught by flailing limbs themselves, but finally the two of them got a grip on Carmilla. It was not easy to pull the girl back. She was practically frothing at the mouth, determined as she was to get at Mel. They pulled her back, but Carmilla just lunged forward again. Laura stumbled, and it wasn’t until more sets of hands joined the effort that they were actually able to pull Carmilla away.

Later on, when Laura would reflect on the horrible ordeal, she would realize what happened next was really her fault. Not hers solely, but everyone’s. In the moment, Laura realized too late that everyone was restraining Carmilla. Multiple pairs of arms were wrapped around the enraged girl, holding her back. Mel meanwhile, had no one holding her back. So there was no one to stop her from cocking back and letting her fist fly straight towards Carmilla’s face. And there was no way Carmilla could free one of her arms in time to try and protect herself in any way. The sound of fist hitting flesh was loud and clear. If so many people hadn’t had such a strong grip on Carmilla, the girl surely would have collapsed. Even as it was she sagged back into the mob behind her.

“Enough!” Laura’s voice was shrill. She struggled out of the scrum to stand between the two combatants. Carmilla was already staggering upright, but Laura held out a hand to press into her chest, stopping her advance. She felt close to tears. “That’s enough from both of you! What is the matter with you two?”

Mel still looked angry, but a little bit of sense seemed to be creeping back into her as the look on her face became somewhat sheepish. But Carmilla still looked incensed. 

“This ends now.” Laura was trying to fight back her tears and regain some semblance of control. The fight upset more than she could really comprehend. “I want both of you to go the principal’s office. Now.”

“Seriously?” It was Theo who spoke up. “We literally just talked about this. Carmilla’s a Karnstein. The principal’s a Karnstein. It’s not going to be fair punishment.”

“I’m sure the principal will deal with the matter fairly,” Laura countered.

J.P. cleared his throat. “If I may present an opinion...” He looked around the room, avoiding Carmilla’s gaze. “While I do also agree the principal will deal with this matter equally, we must also consider the implications on our group. We are supposed to be equals and support each other. We can’t do that if members of our group are fighting.”

“What are you getting at, J.P.?” Laura was wary now. She was well aware of the tumultuous relationship between the tech savvy teen and the rebel.

“Well, violence cannot be condoned. I don’t think the aggressor should be allowed to come back to the club. Carmilla and her rage have no place here.”

If Laura thought the ragtag group of unpopular teens would band together to support another social outcast, she was sorely mistaken. Laura couldn’t believe her eyes as the other group members spoke up, not in defence of Carmilla but the exact opposite. Laura could almost feel her heart breaking, not only for Carmilla, but also for her Rainbow Club members. She had been feeling such a bond with them, thinking they were such good and special kids. But now it appeared they were just as vindictive and cruel as other teens could be. Lafontaine was the only one who stayed silent, but they seemed to feel just as helpless as Laura did.

“Guys...” Laura started, but she didn’t continue. She didn’t know what to say. 

“Don’t worry about it Teach. I’m done.” And for the first time in two weeks, Carmilla met her gaze. Her dark eyes seemed empty. She looked broken. But then she squared her shoulders and stormed from the classroom.

For a few moments there was silence. It was Laura who broke it. “I am...I am so ashamed right now,” she said quietly. “Not only about the fight, but...this group is about acceptance. Acceptance of who we are. I bet there’s not one of you in this room right now who hasn’t been ridiculed in one way or another because of the way you dress, or your grades, or your preferences. But yet you feel you have the right to turn around and do to someone else exactly what our group is hoping to end? You are all dismissed. Today’s meeting is over. And there won’t be another one until you all take a good look in the mirror and realize we won’t achieve acceptance and equality on a larger scale until we can do so ourselves.”

Most of the kids looked well abashed. There were exchanges of uneasy glances and downcast eyes, but Laura didn’t care for any of it. She turned away from the teens and went back to her desk. She began packing her bag with her back still turned, only hearing the group leave the room. Suddenly Laura was exhausted. Suddenly being an adult didn’t seem like so much fun.

“Um Miss H?”

Laura jumped, startled. She turned around to see Laf standing there, looking both sad and awkward. Laura tried to force a smile, and Laf tried to force one back, but it looked more like a grimace and Laura was sure her expression was the same.

“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t stand up Carmilla. It’s just hard having to always choose between friends is all.”

“I appreciate that Lafontaine, but I don’t think it’s me to whom you owe an apology.”

Laf nodded. “I know that. But I probably can’t apologize to her without fear of losing an eye for a couple of days. I guess I just...needed to explain myself. But it still sounds like a lame excuse.”

“Laf, I’m sure Carmilla will understand. You’re a good friend to her.”

“No I’m not,” Laf said quickly. “We’re friends, yes. But I love Perry and J.P. and no matter how hard I try I can never be the friend Carm really needs. You can though.”

Laura was taken aback. “Me? Lafontaine, Carmilla surely hates me. Plus, I’m your teacher.”

“Teachers can still be friends. And Carmilla doesn’t hate you. Trust me. But seriously dude- er, Miss H- she needs someone to talk to. She’s so guarded all the time, even with me. But something tells me you can get her to open up. She needs that Miss H, she really does. Which is why you should totally check out the baseball fields at Styria Park. Alright, cool. Good talk. Bye!”

Lafontaine left so abruptly that Laura stood there stunned for a minute. Laf’s parting words really hadn’t made any sense whatsoever. But Laura thought about it. And the more she thought about it, the more she realized she needed to get to Styria Park ASAP. She didn’t know how Laf knew Carmilla would be there, but it was worth a shot. More than ever, Laura needed to make things right. Unfortunately however, Laura was an adult, which meant she also needed to take care of her responsibilities.

Three quarters of an hour later, Laura was trekking through Styria Park with Molson trotting along at the end of his leash beside her. He didn’t seem at all perturbed about the grey, dreary day or the cold drizzle they were walking through. His ears were perked and he looked like he was on a grand adventure. Laura, meanwhile, was feeling less and less sure of herself. It was entirely possible she had misinterpreted Lafontaine’s meaning and now was on a wild goose chase. It was also plausible that Lafontaine was wrong about Laura being someone Carmilla would open up to. And it was more than just somewhat likely that after the Thanksgiving incident Carmilla would be more apt to take a swing at Laura rather than confide in her. But Laura wasn’t an investigative journalist turned high school teacher for nothing. She was nothing if not determined to get to the bottom of the story, teenage raging hormones be damned.

Of course, seeing a lone figure sitting hunched over in the home team dugout on diamond number three crumbled Laura’s resolve like a straw house in a full on gale. She was ready to turn tail and run away, but Molson had other ideas. Apparently choosing that exact moment to decide he was sick of the rain, Molson insistently tugged Laura forward towards the shelter of the dugout. Laura had no choice but to follow, following her pup down the single concrete step and into the covered area.

Carmilla gave no sign she was aware that she had visitors. She was sitting in the middle of the bench, lit cigarette situated between her lips, staring out over the field with a strange gaze. Her right eye was red and swollen, but Laura was sure it would be black before too long. Laura approached cautiously, waiting for any sign of danger. She saw several spent cigarette butts scattered on the ground around Carmilla’s battered Converse. It made her heart ache for the girl.

“You just going to stand there all day, Teach?” 

Laura started. She hadn’t been expecting Carmilla to say anything.

“Come on, pull up a seat,” Carmilla said, patting an empty spot on the bench beside her. Molson, as if he had been awaiting such an invitation, jumped up without hesitation. Carmilla dropped her cigarette down onto the ground, and then pulled out another one to light. “Come join the ultimate pity party Teach.”

Tentatively, Laura did as she was asked, still more than a little worried that Carmilla would turn from her seeming nonchalance to extreme anger with no warning. Laura sat down beside Molson, using the little black and white dog as a barrier between herself and her student. Naturally, Molson decided that would be the perfect time to climb up onto Carmilla’s lap. Seeing her protective barrier disappear, Laura shot her dog a glare. What a little traitor.

“So, what brings you to Styria, huh Cutie? Not the nicest day for a walk.”

“I...um, I heard you might be here. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Carmilla shrugged. “I don’t dish out anything I’m not prepared to receive back in full, Sweetheart. I earn what I buy.”

Laura frowned, not liking the cold callousness Carmilla was displaying. The small, lonely girl Laura glimpsed every now and then was nowhere to be found. It meant her job would be tougher, but that didn’t put Laura off. 

“Carmilla, please. You can talk to me. Whatever happened earlier, whatever Mel said...I know it hurt you. You need to get it out. And you can trust me.”

Carmilla snorted, finally turning to face Laura straight on. “Well, haven’t we done a complete one-eighty. Last I heard from you, I was nothing but an immoral sleeze sleeping with the entire city. But now you want me to confide my deep, dark secrets to you. That’s believably sincere.”

The dark haired teen no longer looked emotionless. She looked livid. The same anger which had left her after the fight with Mel was back, and it was blazing. Laura would have liked nothing more than to back away a foot or five, but she stayed where she was. She knew, echoing Carmilla’s sentiments, that she had earned this anger from her student. Laura had earned it, and now it was time for her to admit it.

“Carmilla, I am so sorry I ever said those things to you. You didn’t deserve that. The truth was...” Laura hesitated, wondering how honest was necessary. She glanced at Carmilla’s injured eye and regret filled her. “You scared me. You still scare me. And in that moment...I couldn’t admit how scared I was. So I lashed out. And that was wrong, so wrong. I’m sorry, Carmilla. I really am.”

Carmilla took a drag from her cigarette and then looked down at her feet, staying silent. The next words she spoke drove a dagger right through Laura. “I don’t trust you, Teach. I may earn everything I get, but some of it...some of it hurts more than the rest,” she said quietly. “I don’t trust you not to do that again.”

Laura swallowed hard, feeling the tears brewing. “I can’t promise I won’t do again. Like I said, you scare me Carmilla. And I don’t do well with being scared. All I can promise is that none of what I said I actually believe. If I did...you wouldn’t scare me. You would be easy to ignore.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Carmilla remained hunched over, eyes downcast, absentmindedly stroking a very contented Molson. Every now and then Laura saw her shoulders give a little shake. She thought the tough teen might have succumbed to tears. Laura wanted nothing more than to slide right next to Carmilla and wrap her in an embrace, but she didn’t dare. The only thing Laura felt brave enough to do was to move mere inches closer to the girl. It felt like miles.

“My dad was my world when I was a kid,” Carmilla said finally. Her voice was thick. “I was a complete daddy’s girl. We did everything together. He taught me how to throw a perfect strike, and how to skate. He taught me how to play the guitar. He was everything.

“Daddy became mayor when I was eleven. I didn’t understand much about his job, but I figured it would mean I got to spend less time with him. But it didn’t. He still did everything he could with me. He made time for me. Looking back, I think mother was jealous of our bond. She and Will were always close but me...we never were. Still aren’t. I know she wishes it had been me that died instead of dad.”

“Carmilla...” Laura wanted so bad to interrupt and reassure the girl that couldn’t possibly be true, but Carmilla ploughed on.

“When I was thirteen I made hockey team at school and daddy was so proud. He never missed a game. And then one day after school hockey practice was cancelled, so I walked home early. And I caught him in his bedroom with his secretary.” Laura couldn’t help it; she let out a gasp. “Yeah,” Carmilla laughed without humour. “He grovelled. He begged and begged me not to tell mother, and I didn’t. He promised that it was just one stupid mistake. But I didn’t trust him anymore. So one day I figured out the password on his computer. And he had his emails open and...it wasn’t just one stupid mistake. It was many. With many women.

“From that day on he smothered me with affection- gifts upon gifts. Everything material I could ever want, but I didn’t want any of it. I just wanted him to be my dad again, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. I spent the last eight months of his life hating him. When he had his heart attack...I wanted to cry at his funeral. I wanted to miss him. But the truth was, I lost my dad almost a year before that. I think that’s what really sealed it for mother. To see daddy’s golden girl, the girl he spent more time with than his own wife, not even shed a single tear...well, Mel got some things right.”

Laura was full on crying now, but she was trying to hide it. Probably the last thing Carmilla needed was Laura snivelling at her expense. But Laura really couldn’t help it. All along she felt like there was more to Carmilla than the attitude and the flirting. Never in a million years could she have all that the girl had been through though. 

“Carmilla I...I don’t even really know what to say besides I’m so, so sorry for what you went through with your dad.”

Carmilla shrugged and scratched around Molson’s ears. “It happened a while ago. I don’t even know how Mel knew some stuff about my dad let alone anything about...” but Carmilla trailed off.

“Anything about what?” Laura prompted.

“Sorry, Teach,” Carmilla sighed. “You’ve got to reach level five of friendship before I reveal more of my deep, dark secrets.”

Despite the situation, Laura couldn’t help but grin. “So what level am I at right now?”

“No idea, but your mutt is beating you, I can tell you that.”

Laura scoffed. “Oh I see how it is.”

“No offence Teach, but even for a cat lover this mongrel is kinda cute. Plus he’s a good snuggler so...”

“Yeah, but can he do this?” Before Laura could stop to contemplate her actions she was moving to wrap her arms around Carmilla’s shoulders. Laura pulled her in close, and Carmilla seemed to melt into the embrace. Laura buried her face in the soft, dark hair, breathing in the lovely scent. She squeezed Carmilla, trying to put all of her apologies, and her feelings, and the words she couldn’t say into her actions. 

The two sat like that in the dugout for what could’ve been hours. Laura knew it probably wasn’t for that long, but she wasn’t wearing a watch and the sky had been a steely grey all day and it likely lasted only ten minutes but it could have lasted for ten days and Laura wouldn’t have minded. She adored the feeling of Carmilla in her arms, becoming increasingly relaxed with every passing minute. It felt natural and good. Laura never wanted it to end. But because so many of the best moments in her life had been ruined by rambling, Laura’s brain had to choose just that exact moment to disconnect itself from her mouth.

“Why do you do it?”

“Do what?” Carmilla asked, pulling slightly back so she could lift her head to look at Laura.

“Why do you act like you do? Why do you push people away before they can even get close to you?”

Carmilla stiffened, pulling away completely. Laura felt the loss like a hammer blow. “I’ve always been a loner. Nothing has changed.”

“But Carmilla if you let people in, if you let them see this side of you then you wouldn’t have to be alone!”

Carmilla laughed bitterly. “Let them see this side of me? Let them see a weepy charity case who has unresolved daddy issues and a stupid relationship with her mother? News flash Cutie; nobody cares. I’ve always been a lone wolf with authority issues. Nobody cares enough to try and find out why, and I like it that way.”

“But nobody could like it that way! Nobody could possibly like being alone all the time!”

Carmilla looked agitated now. She stood up, and a sleepy Molson leaped unhappily from her lap. He glared up at her as she started pacing the dugout.

“I like being alone. I don’t need anybody on my side. I don’t need company, and I sure as hell don’t need pity.”

Laura got to her feet as well. She approached Carmilla and tried to take grasp her hands in her own, but Carmilla shook her off. “Carmilla having friends, heck even just having people not hate you isn’t the same as having them pity you!”

“So you admit people hate me then?” Carmilla glared at Laura.

“Ugh, what is with teenagers and being so stubborn?” Laura groaned. “I never said that. But isn’t that exactly what you’re going for anyway? Don’t play me for stupid; I hear the stories Danny has to tell about you!”

“Oh yeah?” Carmilla’s eyes took on a challenging light and she stepped closer to Laura. “Well has your perfect girlfriend bothered to tell you about the things she says to me? Tough adult being threatened by a lowly high school student, how pathetic is that?”

“Don’t you dare call Danny pathetic!” It was Laura’s turn to step closer. “You have no right when one minute you finally let me in and act human and the next you put the walls back up, acting like you’re not just a scared child!”

“Are you calling me pathetic?” 

“Yeah, you know what- maybe I am!” They were nose to nose now. The rage was back in Carmilla’s eyes, but it was different somehow from earlier. There was something else there too. Laura just couldn’t tell what it was.

“God, you are so annoying!” Carmilla yelled.

“Yeah, well you’re so infuriating!”

And then the world stopped spinning. Colours faded away, sound became muted and the cold seemed far away. Everything else ceased to matter, because Laura was kissing Carmilla.

Suddenly everything came back to life like a vibrant, brilliant explosion. Laura had never felt so alive and so energized. Everything made sense but nothing made sense. The world flip turned upside down, but it felt amazing. Carmilla felt amazing.

Carmilla’s lips tasted salty and fruity at the same time- tears and strawberry lip gloss- with a hint of smokiness and Laura had never tasted anything so perfect. Lips perfectly soft and plump matched perfectly with her own, joining in a teasingly delicious harmony. Laura felt Carmilla’s hands tangle in her hair, while her own wrapped around Carmilla’s neck, trying desperately to pull her impossibly closer. They were chest to chest now. Laura could feel Carmilla’s heart beating in sync with hers. It was the perfect storm of a kiss...until Molson barked and Laura was brought back to reality with a shuddering crash.

Laura pushed Carmilla away with a little more strength than she had intentioned. Carmilla looked just as wonderfully, happily dazed as Laura wanted to feel. But Laura couldn’t feel that way. 

“Oh no,” Laura moaned. “Oh no, no, no, no, no. Oh my goodness, what have we done? You’re my student! And I have a girlfriend!” Laura wiped furiously at her lips with her hand, as if getting rid of the taste of Carmilla could also wipe away their indiscretion. “That shouldn’t have happened,” Laura said quickly. “That was a mistake.”

Carmilla seemed to deflate like an old balloon. “Yeah. Okay.”

“Carmilla...Miss Karnstein...please understand. I could lose my job. I could go to jail. You have to understand that this can’t happen again. And nobody can find out. Especially Danny!”

Anger flashed through Carmilla’s eyes at the mention of the biology teacher. But when she spoke it was in a soft, defeated tone. “Whatever you say, Teach.” Carmilla turned to leave. 

“Wait!” Laura reached out and grabbed Carmilla by the wrist to stop her from walking away. Then she realized what she was doing and let go quickly, as if electrified. “I’m sorry Carmilla. I feel like every single time we get somewhere I have to go and ruin things. Please though...I’m still your friend. What you told me today- how you trusted me- it means a lot. And you still can...trust me. I can still be your friend.”

Carmilla laughed bitterly. “You don’t get it, do you? I don’t want to be your friend. I’ve never wanted to be your friend! At first all I wanted was for you to be a game but now...” Carmilla laughed again, but this time it was paired with a sob. “Now all I want is for you to feel the same about me as I do about you. But clearly you don’t...or can’t. So we’re done here.”

Without another word, Carmilla was gone, out of the dugout and into the cold rain. Laura stood rooted to the spot. Molson pawed at her leg, probably wondering why his master had turned into a useless stone monument, but Laura couldn’t bring herself to do anything but stare at Carmilla’s retreating figure. Even long after the girl was finally out of sight, still Laura stood. And then she cried. She picked up Molson and cried into fur, wondering why she couldn’t seem to do anything but hurt Carmilla and wondering why it seemed like she had just lost a part of herself. Laura cried for a long time, but it didn’t help. The only thing which could have helped, she realized, was Carmilla. But Carmilla was long gone. And Laura couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. First off, sorry for the massive wait. Basically I had written the next three chapters after I posted the last one...and then my USB corrupted and I lost them and it was just meh. When I felt like I could finally get past my meh and write I suffered a pretty decent soccer injury and it's put me out of commission for a fair bit of time. If there's one thing that makes a really grumpy and sad Yoda it's sitting out.  
> But I struggled through this and finally it's done! And it is one hundred percent unedited. Just wanted to get it posted! Not exactly how I wanted this chapter to be, but here it is. Hopefully not horrible. And hopefully now I'm over this hill things will start coming easier.
> 
> As an aside; if I ever choose to put this fic on hiatus I will let you all know. So there might be delays (hopefully shorter than this one but still) but chapters are coming unless I say otherwise.
> 
> Thanks for reading, you all are champs. Loving the responses so far!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Carmilla's coping mechanisms leave something to be desired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops. So much for not keeping you guys waiting for forever.
> 
> This chapter contains many, many mentions of alcohol and drinking. Just a heads up.

If Carmilla had known how much more bearable going to school would be if only she were drunk, she might have done so sooner. As it transpired, it was much easier to tolerate the questionably low intellects and dimwitted rules while drifting along in a nice haze of perpetual alcohol induced bliss. She figured one day her liver would exact its not so sweet revenge on her, but Carmilla figured as long as she was still a teenager she could reasonably suspend reason for a reasonable amount of time. And the long term physical effects were, in her own mind, a fair trade for the short term psychological effects.

It had taken about two seconds spent in Laura’s presence after the never to be mentioned again incident for Carmilla to realize two things- first, she should have never come to school in the first place, and second, she should have never locked herself into a stuffy, enclosed room with the object of her unrequited affections for an hour. But earlier that morning, with her mother bawling through her bedroom door at who knew what hour about how if Carmilla missed anymore school she would be forced to take drastic measures, it had seemed like a fine idea. So then Carmilla had come up with an even better idea which would both avoid her mother’s wrath and Laura’s heartbreaking presence; alcohol. And so far, it had been working grand.

Lafontaine- who had quickly and profusely apologized to an uninterested and uniquely grudgeless Carmilla- was the only one to notice something had been off about Carmilla over the previous week. That was, of course, discounting the teachers who looked at Carmilla as if she had grown three heads when she actually showed up on time, didn’t talk back and actually did her work. Perhaps they thought she was turning over a new leaf. Carmilla snorted. Yeah right. 

Not everything could be quelled with a vodka filled water bottle, however. For one, Carmilla was still acutely aware that she had a heart, which was something she had spent the first eighteen years of her life trying desperately to deny. But alcohol or not, she could still feel it in there, aching. And also, Carmilla figured it would take much more than mouthfuls of vodka interspersed cunningly throughout the school day for her to be able to stand the company of the school’s resident giant. Fifteen vodka filled water bottles may have done the trick. Or a brain transplant. But Carmilla was feeling most distinctly anti-Lawrence at the moment, and happily buzzed or not it hadn’t stopped Carmilla from earning herself a detention from the bio teacher.

That was where Carmilla was on her way to currently; detention with Laura Hollis. She was in no rush to get there, of course. Carmilla meandered her way down the emptying hallways, emptying her crafty water bottle as she went. She had been lying low around the annoyingly attractive teacher for days. Carmilla avoided any eye contact like the plague. She occasionally got the sense in class that Laura was looking at her, trying to catch her eye, but Carmilla was having none of it. She was done with feelings. Every time she caught them, it ended in disaster. Carmilla figured if she kept her head down and sipped at her vodka for the next seven months then she could move to Antarctica and be done with feelings altogether. At least, that was her plan at the moment. It could, she admitted to herself, use a bit of tweaking.

Carmilla had finally arrived at the door to her most dreaded classroom when she heard faint voices coming from within. Carmilla froze, hand stilled on the handle. Even though the voices were muffled through the wooden door, Carmilla could tell there were two of them. And if she was correct, there appeared to be a lover’s quarrel going on. Hand tightening its grip, Carmilla strained with all her might to make out the words.

“I just don’t see what’s so wrong with wanting to protect my girlfriend.” That was for sure the giant. Carmilla’s upper lip curled in a sneer. She hated that giant.

“Seriously?” Laura laughed. “Danny this is becoming a bad habit. And it goes way beyond the boundaries of a normal relationship.”

“Well I’m sorry for caring about you.” Carmilla rolled her eyes. The giant was incapable of caring. “But Laura, you haven’t been yourself for at least a week now. You look tired. You look like you haven’t been eating or sleeping properly at all. And to top it all off, you live in a neighbourhood with a very high crime rate! Is it so wrong for me to be offering you some help?”

“Danny you caring is sweet, it really is. But this is not you caring anymore, it goes way past that. Honestly, I’ve heard about U-Hauling but you wanting me to move in with you after only a month of dating is seriously...”

Laura never got the chance to finish her thought. Carmilla- who had ceased to hear anything after the words ‘move in with you’ due to the amount of blood pounding in her ears- had burst in through the door. The couple turned to her, mouths dropped open in shock, but Carmilla could care less about her entrance. A week ago Laura had been kissing her, but now she was considering moving in with her ‘girlfriend’? Nope. As done as Carmilla was with feelings, she was not, no way in hell, absolutely not having that.

“What are you doing here?” Danny asked, contempt in her voice. Carmilla ignored her- honestly it had been the giant herself who had given her detention- and directed her first words towards her English teacher in quite some time.

“Detention. Here, Teach.” She tossed her detention slip in Laura’s general direction before plopping down in her usual desk, leaning back and kicking her feet up on top of it.

There was some muttered grumbling about knocking and manners from the bio teacher, but Carmilla just smirked to herself. If only Danny knew just how awful Carmilla’s manners were, kissing someone else’s girlfriend. But again, Carmilla had sworn off feelings and sworn off Laura. As much as Carmilla would have loved to rub the giant’s nose in it, bringing up the kiss would mean bringing up feelings and nope. Carmilla was done. And her restraint had nothing whatsoever to do with caring whether Laura got in trouble or not. Nope. Not a care at all for the adorable teacher. Nada. Zilch. No feelings at all.

Just when Carmilla thought Danny might finally be having a brain aneurysm at not being able to punch a student, another distraction arrived. Carmilla was somewhat disappointed; nothing made her more gleeful than to perpetually frustrate Danny Lawrence. But then she caught sight of a sheepishly grinning Lafontaine and immediately her disappointment turned to amusement.

“Please tell me you got a detention,” Carmilla said, grinning happily slash drunkenly.

“Guilty,” Laf returned. “First one since freshman year when I almost accidentally burned down the science wing.”

“Accidentally?” Carmilla questioned, earning herself a shove to the shoulder from Lafontaine. She swayed perhaps a bit too much for the given force and caught Laura looking at her quizzically. Whoops.

“What did you manage to get a detention for, Lafontaine?” Laura asked, thankfully diverting her attention away from Carmilla. Now Carmilla could sway in peace.

“Really I did nothing wrong,” Laf said with a shrug of their shoulders. They looked rather innocent. “I just may have implied that I knew more about chemistry than Vordenburg did. I mean, the experimental designs are archaic, even older than he is, probably. Does he seriously expect science to have not changed at some point in the last fifty years? I mean, sure, my method may have resulted in a little more ‘boom’ than would be socially acceptable but it would be far more informative and interesting than watching a chemical reaction slowly turn from blue to pink over the course of five days, I mean honestly does anyone find that actually educationally stimulating?”

Laf’s rant had effectively broken the pre-existing tension in the room. Laura laughed lightly, and Danny looked amused rather than aggressively angry. Carmilla couldn’t be more grateful for her one and only friend showing up when she did. Even to drunk Carmilla, staying in a room alone with her most hated couple on Earth while she tried to deny the existence of feelings seemed like a terrible idea.

Eventually- it was only about a minute after that but it seemed like years to Carmilla- the skyscraper left the room. Lafontaine and Laura began chatting casually. Every now and then one of the two would try to engage Carmilla in the conversation, but she wasn’t having it. Maybe Laura could sit there and pretend nothing was wrong, that nothing had happened between them and there was nothing to apologize for, but Carmilla couldn’t. In fact, she was beginning to notice a few flaws in her plan of spending every single school day drunk; Carmilla had always had a quick temper, and alcohol had never really done a lot to counteract that. So while Laura sat there and acted like her usual bright and bubbly self, Carmilla started to rage inwardly. Things weren’t fine, they weren’t back to normal. Carmilla felt like her entire shitty life was getting unbelievably worse, and it wasn’t fair that Laura got to be happy.

“So Miss H, are you chaperoning the Halloween Dance on Friday?” It was the first bit of the conversation Carmilla actually took in, and it peaked her attention a bit.

“Yup. Miss Lawrence and I both volunteered to be chaperones. Are you going to be there Lafontaine?”

Carmilla more or less tuned out Laf’s affirmative reply, once more feeling her blood boil. So Laura and her beanstalk girlfriend were both going to be there, turning a school sanctioned event into a mini date, parading their lovely relationship around for all to see. Did Laura have no regard for the fact Carmilla might be at said school sanctioned event? Did she not care at all that every single time Carmilla had to see the two of them together it ruined her a little bit more? Albeit, Carmilla had never actually gone to a school dance in her life, but the fact remained. She had bared part of her soul for Laura, and the woman seemed determined to make her suffer in exchange.

When the hour of detention was up, Carmilla bolted up from her seat as if it had become electrified. She ignored Laura, who looked as if she would have like Carmilla to remain for a bit longer, and stormed out of the room as quickly as she could. She was halfway down the hallway to the exit until an idea struck her. She paused in her escape, letting Laf catch up. If Laura was determined to make Carmilla suffer, why couldn’t Carmilla do the same?

“Yo Laf,” she said when the ginger caught up to her, “does your offer for me to be the awkward third wheel at the Halloween dance still stand?”

Laf grinned. “Heck yes it does! What made you change your mind?”

Carmilla shrugged, a smirk making its way onto her face. “What else is there to do on a Friday night really?” she said casually, but inside she was beaming. It was going to be nice to not have to be the only one keeping a close reign on their feelings. Laura was going to have no idea what hit her. 

\---

Carmilla only had to take one step inside the pitifully decorated gym to vow to never get drunk again. Clearly, drunk Carmilla made horrible decisions. In her haste to make Laura be the one to suffer for once, she forgot one tiny little detail; she hated high school students. Already there was a sweaty mass of them in the centre of the gym, grinding pathetically up on one another to some overly techno pop piece of crap music. 

“You promised an hour,” Laf reminded her, clearly seeing the desire to bolt pass across her face. Carmilla frowned.

“My sanity’s at stake here. Don’t you care about my sanity?” she questioned them, but Laf merely grinned. Carmilla sighed, resigning herself to a minimum of one hour of torture. It had better turn out to be worth it, she thought.

Carmilla made her way further into the nightmare with Perry and Lafontaine, not feeling as awkwardly third wheel-ish as she figured she would be. Perry seemed determined to make things up to Carmilla, which was hilarious since they had never actually been friends before. But Perry was being weirdly nice to Carmilla and accepting of her presence, and Carmilla had to admit it was a nice change. It would have been better had it not been borne out of an attempt to make amends for making Carmilla feel like an unwanted piece of trash, but if free pastries from the Perry family bakery were being offered, Carmilla wasn’t about to refuse.

The only hiccup in the night to that point was Perry’s reaction to Lafontaine’s costume modifications. Perry- whose resistance to change was infamous and one of the reasons Laf and Carmilla became semi-friends in the first place- had insisted on her and Laf dressing up, once again, as Raggedy Ann and Andy. Lafontaine wouldn’t exactly refuse their best friend, but they confided in Carmilla that they couldn’t stand to do the same thing for the fourth year in a row. So Lafontaine became science-experiment-gone-wrong-Andy, and Carmilla was nearly positive the charred and burnt lab coat they had donned wasn’t just made up for the sake of the evening.

Carmilla’s costume, meanwhile, couldn’t really be called a costume. Sure, she had plastic fangs in her mouth- which were a pain and a half, honestly she couldn’t wait to take them out- and some fake blood dripping from her lips. But aside from that, Carmilla picked out her tightest black leather corset and her shortest and tightest black shorts. Okay, she had relented to put on a pair of black fishnets underneath in order to not get kicked out for totally violating dress code, but she still had reason to believe that her costume was enough to get under Laura’s skin. For payback purposes only, of course. Carmilla was still sworn of feelings. Forever.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Carmilla rolled her eyes as Kirsch came sliding up in front of her. “What do we have here?”

“You gonna kick me out, meathead?” Kirsch was one of the few teachers at Silas whom she didn’t mind. Sure, he was a big man child and a gossip monger and fairly inappropriate. But he was also a harmless and oblivious puppy dog who let Carmilla sit out of gym whenever she felt like it. She knew she scared him- who didn’t she scare, really- but he played it off like the giant puppy he so clearly was.

“Not at all Carm-scary,” he grinned. “But I am gonna put you down as one of our candidates for best costume.”

“Gee, thanks,” she said sarcastically.

“Get your acceptance speech ready. I’m thinking I’m gonna announce you as Carmilla Vampstein when you win. What do you think? Got a nice ring to it, eh?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes again as she turned away from Kirsch. He reminded a bit of her cousin Blake. She really couldn’t hate the guy, even if he was part of the demon faculty. Her good humour evaporated quickly, though, when she realized she had been abandoned by her mini entourage. She ground her teeth together, wincing when she forgot about her fangs and they cut into her upper gum. She had made Lafontaine swear that they wouldn’t leave her alone for even a second of the horror show. Clearly, that had not worked.

Without any better ideas, Carmilla started wandering around the outskirts of the gymnasium. She hoped she could get a glimpse of Laura, and then strategically place herself in a location where Laura could see her outfit and all it had to offer. Carmilla wanted to see the teacher’s eyes widen and her mouth drop open. She wanted the teacher to see what she couldn’t, what she refused to have. Even though making Laura suffer from an over abundance of lust would not even come close to comparing to suffering from a broken heart, it was all Carmilla had at the moment. 

Of course, nothing worked out like how Carmilla planned it.

Carmilla did catch a glimpse of Laura, looking simply adorable in a Supergirl outfit. But she wasn’t alone. Carmilla’s arch nemesis was right beside her, in potentially the most conservative Wonder Woman costume she had ever seen, with an arm around Laura. Laura was leaning into her girlfriend’s side. They were both smiling contentedly, chatting as they watched the crowd of dancing students. Laura looked happy, and Carmilla felt like she had been punched in the gut.

Carmilla needed to get away from the scene. Turning away abruptly, Carmilla managed to collide with someone. And her blood seemed to freeze in her veins when she realized who it was.

“Mother,” she said stiffly.

“Carmilla.” Her mother, seeming to be shroud in darkness as always, cast an appraising eye over her. “My, my, what an outfit. Are we trying to impress somebody?”

“No mother.”

“Well, I should hope not. It would be a shame if you forgot about our little agreement and broke the rules. And after all, we all remember what happened the last time you worked so hard to impress somebody.”

Carmilla swallowed hard. Her eyes began to sting. She wasn’t sure if they were tears of sadness, anger or hatred, but whichever they were Carmilla needed to get out of there even more so than before. She sidestepped her smirking mother and began charging for a door, any door. She passed by Laf and Perry, who had managed to find a Sherlock Holmes clad J.P., but she ignored them. Carmilla rushed right past the threesome and nearly flattened a group of niners, but she managed to make it to a pair of metal doors. She crashed into them, bursting out into the cool, drizzling October night.

Carmilla eventually found her favourite picnic table in the quad, ignoring how the cold, wet wood felt against her skin as she clambered up onto it. Sitting on the edge, she put her head in her hands, breathing heavily and trying to get a hold of her thoughts. That was the second time in only a week someone had made reference to Ell, and Carmilla just wasn’t prepared for it. She had spent months trying to forget the girl, trying to assuage her guilt, and she thought she done it. But all it took was Mel or her mother and then- Carmilla had to stop. It hurt too much to think about the girl.

But as Carmilla forced Ell from her thoughts, Laura crept in to replace her. Carmilla hadn’t been joking the previous week, she had feelings for Laura. They were strong and they had come out of nowhere and they were surely doomed, but they were feelings nonetheless. And sure, Laura not feeling the same way hurt. But what hurt more was Laura with Danny, looking happy. The couple fought. They clearly had differences. Even if Danny did things to drive Laura crazy though, she also made her happy. And that was the kicker for Carmilla. Seeing Laura happy, and knowing it wasn’t because of Carmilla...could Carmilla ever make Laura that happy? Would she ever even have the chance?

Eventually, Carmilla forced herself off her table and out of her pity party. She began to wander, making her way off school property and trying to figure out her next move. She wasn’t going to go back home tonight, she knew that. Carmilla hadn’t handled her mother well, and she knew her reaction would only serve to provoke her mother even further. So home wasn’t an option. She could go to Blake’s, but he was working late. Alchemy had hired a professional singer- aka, a singer who sucked but had a shiny recording deal- for a few weekends, and all the staff were busy making his life perfect. So that really left only two options and Carmilla didn’t feel like sleeping in the dugout in a corset and fishnets. Spending the night as company in a college dorm sounded much, much more appealing.

A couple hours later, Carmilla was feeling much better about herself. She had two blondes competing with each other for her undivided attention, and they were buying her drink after drink in an attempt to one up the other. If Carmilla played her cards right, she had no doubt she could get both of them to agree to something very fun.

Getting into the club had been no trouble, even without her fake ID. All she had to do was put her cleavage at the eye level of the bouncer, and she was in. Carmilla had picked up the first blonde within moments of walking through the doors, and things had gotten even better from there. She hadn’t paid for a drink all night, which was great since all she had was a twenty tucked into the waistband of her very short shorts.

“How about another, sweetheart?” blonde number one said, her voice dripping with seduction as she toyed with Carmilla’s empty glass. Carmilla smirked and nodded, and the girl eagerly made her way back to the bar.

“Here ya go, babe.” Blonde number two had reappeared, setting down a shot glass before her. Blonde number one kept buying her fancy mixed drinks, and blonde number two clearly had a thing for shots. It was amazing. More than Carmilla could have hoped for, really.

It was as Carmilla was downing the shot and blonde number one was returning that she saw them, and she nearly choked.

Laura and Danny had just walked into the club, and were making their way up to the bar. Carmilla couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe that much time had passed and the Halloween dance was already over. And she couldn’t believe that out of all the bars and clubs in their dratted city, the happy couple had to come to the one Carmilla was at. They sauntered in, holding hands, the perfect little superhero couple. They strode through the rest of the costume clad Halloween night crowd, looking fairly giddy and it made Carmilla fairly sick.

“You okay, babe?” Blonde number two had pushed herself closer to Carmilla, all concern and lust.

“Here, you probably need something sweeter,” blonde number one said suggestively, sliding in on the other side of Carmilla and placing another glass in front of her.

Carmilla shook her head. “Washroom,” she grunted, she shouldering blonde number one out of the way and ploughing her way through the inebriated masses. When she made it to the washroom she went straight to the sink and splashed a bit of frigid water on her face. Then she stared at herself in the fairly grimy mirror.

“Buck up you idiot,” she hissed at herself through her teeth, cheap plastic fangs having been long since ditched. “So she rejected you. First girl to ever do that, but who gives a flying fuck. You don’t have feelings for her, so shake it off. Head in the game. Blondes to go take care of.”

Without letting herself brood any longer, Carmilla pivoted to head back out and lay down the groundwork for a threesome. But the moment she pulled the door open, she collided with a tiny, gorgeous little superhero. Carmilla rolled her eyes so far she thought they might be in danger of getting stuck. Naturally this had to happen.

“Oh crap, I’m so sorry I wasn’t...Carmilla?”

“What up, Teach?” Carmilla winced at her drunken, awkward greeting before remembering she had no feelings and most definitely didn’t need to impress Laura with her suavity.

“What are you doing here?” Laura hissed. She grabbed Carmilla’s wrist- all her hazily drunk mind could focus on was how good Laura’s skin felt against her own- and dragged her back into the facilities. “You are underage! How’d you get in here?”

“Well clearly you don’t understand how a place like this works, Cutie,” she drawled, puffing her chest out ever so slightly. Carmilla smirked as Laura’s eyes locked in on the movement. The teacher not so subtly licked her lips. Carmilla began silently congratulating herself before she remembered that she didn’t care. So she crossed her arms over her chest, not missing Laura’s disappointment flash across her face and not missing how her own stomach seemed to give a not unpleasant lurch. Carmilla chalked it up to the alcohol.

“Well uh...I mean, well...erm...” Laura sputtered for a moment, and Carmilla tried not to enjoy it. “You have to leave,” Laura said suddenly, firmly.

“Do I now?”

“Yes. Because I know you’re underage, so if you don’t go I’ll have to report you and then...” she trailed off.

“Then what?” Carmilla challenged. “You gonna get me expelled from Silas? Maybe call the cops and have me arrested? What are you gonna do, Teach?”

Laura frowned. “Carmilla, please. I don’t want to have to get you in trouble but this is ethically wrong. Please don’t put me in this impossible situation.”

Carmilla laughed, hearing the sarcasm in her tone. “Oh so you can put me in the most impossible situation ever, but when it comes time for me to return the favour you beg me not to?”

“What do you mean?” Laura asked, looking confused.

“Really? Seriously. You told your doting tree about what happened last week yet?”

All the colour seemed to drain from Laura’s face. She looked terrified. “Carmilla you can’t mean...you haven’t, have you? I mean...you wouldn’t. Right?”

Carmilla deflated. The copious amount of alcohol provided by the blondes seemed to all hit her at once, in that moment. “No. I never would do that to you. But I’m glad you think so little of me.”

“Carmilla,” Laura sighed, but Carmilla shook her head.

“No. Stop. Just don’t.” Carmilla closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. Flashes of memories kept passing through her mind of their amazing kiss, of Ell smiling at her, of Laura and Danny looking so happy; Carmilla couldn’t stop them. “Just make this easier on me and let me hate you. And let me do my thing and go home with somebody tonight. You have someone to go home with. Please let me do the same.”

Carmilla left the washroom, not looking back. It didn’t take very long for her to locate blonde number two at the bar, and it wasn’t very long after that that blonde number one sidled up on Carmilla’s other side. But Carmilla’s heart wasn’t in it anymore. She couldn’t seem to stop picking out the gargantuan stop sign in the crowd, feeling a stabbing pain in her chest every time hands were held or a kiss was placed on a forehead, a cheek. Carmilla began downing shots like they were candy. The burn in her throat was nothing compared to the burn in her chest, and Carmilla knew which one she wholeheartedly preferred. Eventually she lost track of the fire hydrant and her girlfriend, and that was fine by Carmilla. She just continued to drink, and continued to do her best to not think.

Carmilla was no stranger to spending her nights at bars or clubs trying to pick up someone to spend the night with. She was also no stranger to the fact there were too many creeps out there who would love to take advantage of a young, drunken, helpless teenager. Normally she kept herself in check; buzzed enough to have a good time, but still with it enough to gouge out an eyeball if she had to. Not that night. Carmilla was so far gone she could hardly remember her own name. She had forgotten which blonde was which, but that was okay because they had also been joined by a lecherous looking brunette who seemed overly generous with the shots.

A hand suddenly landed on her shoulder, and Carmilla turned around on her stool, nearly falling off. She was ready to flirt when she recognized the two people- they looked identical really, she never knew her cousin had a twin- standing before her.

“Go away,” Carmilla slurred. Or at least, she tried to. Even she couldn’t really recognize the words she actually spoke.

“Yeah, go away,” the creepy brunette said. She wrapped an arm around Carmilla’s shoulders, pulling her in territorially. “We don’t need you. And besides, this one here isn’t into dudes.”

“Yeah well,” Blake spread his arms and smiled sardonically, “this one here is in high school, so...”

The brunette and both blondes were gone in a flash. Carmilla scowled. “Thanks,” she snorted disdainfully. She had had six girls with her before Blake had sent them running. Three sets of twins would’ve made for a great story.

“C’mon you,” Blake said. He pulled her up gently, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I’m taking you home.”

Carmilla still had enough semblance of thought to register those words. “No! Not home not there I can’t I just...” There were no more coherent words for her to get out. Blake just pulled her along, essentially carrying her.

“That’s fine. You can come to my place, Kitty. It’s okay. I won’t take you home.”

Blake had to basically carry Carmilla down the block to his car, stopping once to let Carmilla empty her stomach contents into a garbage can. She was going to hate herself in the morning; she never drank to the point of throwing up. They eventually made it to Blake’s car. He didn’t even bother trying to get her sat up and strapped in. He just let her lay sprawled across the backseat.

Carmilla lulled in and out of consciousness as they drove. She had no clue how long the drive took. She missed the way Blake’s gaze would flicker to her every few seconds, sad and concerned. Instead Carmilla dreamt of a world where Blake was her brother instead of the poser and her past didn’t exist and Laura was just single, non-teacher Laura. It was beautiful, and as Carmilla finally dropped off into a heavy slumber, her mind had almost convinced her it was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before my apologies....
> 
> SEASON THREE WHAT IS HAPPENING I'M IN LOVE!!! Totally feeling this season so far. I'm just gonna watch ep's 12 and 16 over and over and over again and ignore the feeling of foreboding I've had ever since the trailer came out and tell my little bi heart that Hollstein is everything and nothing else matters.
> 
> Um so yeah sorry, once again, that this took forever. Inspiration, ya know? (As an example, it took exactly 4 minutes for me to think of that word. Initiation, seriously, that's the only one I could come up with)  
> If you are potentially interested there is a position available to be my ass kicker when I take too long to update. Also potentially my sounding board. This position will require wonky hours and having to deal with my early quarter life crisis breakdowns and relentless skill at procrastination. Get in contact, yo.
> 
> Thanks for reading, catch ya in two weeks (Seriously. Book it. It's happening eh)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Laura passes a test.

Laura was trying her best to not squirm. She knew if she did, she would probably wake Danny up. But it was difficult to keep still when she felt undeniably uncomfortable. Not physically uncomfortable, mind- Danny was pressed snugly against her back with an arm securely wrapped around Laura’s waist and nothing about that felt anything other than amazing- but just uncomfortable in general. Her mind was racing with thoughts and she felt in turns guilty, angry, upset, sad, and pretty much every other non-joyous feeling on the spectrum.

Out of the corner of her eye, Laura saw the red, glowing numbers on Danny’s alarm clock. Laura knew her girlfriend would murder her if she walked home at nearly three in the morning, but Laura didn’t feel like she had much of a choice. Every second she stayed in Danny’s comforting embrace, Laura felt more and more guilty, more and more uncomfortable. Laura needed to go somewhere where she could be alone, to really think. And the thoughts she knew she had to think about were not the type of thoughts which could be thought in the embrace of Danny Lawrence.

With a sigh, Laura made up her mind. Moving as slowly as possible, Laura slid out from under Danny’s protective arm. For once she was happy about being so tiny. It didn’t happen very often. Laura soundlessly slipped on a pair of Danny’s sweatpants and her own jacket, not feeling like walking home on the first morning of November in nothing but a cheaply manufactured Supergirl costume. She quickly scribbled a note to Danny, leaving it on the end table beside Danny’s side of the bed where she was bound to see it first thing, saying that she had left early because of Molson. It wasn’t totally a lie; she felt really guilty about leaving Molson alone for an entire night- just another thing on a growing guilt list. Then Laura left, locking Danny’s apartment door with the key her girlfriend insisted on giving her in their second week of dating.

The streets were thankfully quiet on Laura’s journey home, but the air was chilled. Laura’s breath fogged in front of her, and she was glad Danny had insisted on her wearing a jacket over her costume when she had picked Laura up for their chaperoning of the dance.

When Laura got home, Molson was thrilled to see her, jumping around her legs like the quirky and excitable dog he had turned out to be. She lasted until they were back in her apartment after Molson’s washroom walk. Then Laura broke down. She held her dog and cried into his fur. Laura wanted to stop- she didn’t feel like she was the one who deserved to be crying- but she couldn’t. Between thoughts of Danny and Carmilla and being away from her dad for so long for the first time Laura couldn’t help but to cry herself to sleep.

\---

Laura felt suitably awful on Monday morning. She had spent the entire weekend being a hermit, screening her calls and not doing anything but eating cookies and binging Netflix shows. She knew she needed to do some soul searching, but it felt better, really, to put it off and not think about anything important. It proved to be a massive mistake when first period rolled around and Laura found herself faced with the prospect of seeing Carmilla and not having any clue whatsoever how to act around the girl. It was becoming a rather familiar storyline to her.

But Carmilla never came. It wasn’t so unusual for the first fifteen or so minutes, but once thirty minutes had gone by Laura started to wonder. And then forty-five passed and Laura knew the teen wasn’t going to show.

She stopped Lafontaine after class.

“Do you know where Miss Karnstein is today?” she asked, trying to keep her voice sounding neutral, natural, oh no nothing wrong here. 

“No idea,” Laf said. “Haven’t heard from her since she stormed out of the dance after talking to the principal.”

Something seemed to connect in Laura’s head, but she couldn’t put a finger on what it was. Just like she couldn’t put a finger on why she always felt like something was missing when Carmilla didn’t show. “Oh okay. Thank you, Lafontaine.”

Laura felt worse as the day went on. Lunch was possibly the worst. She sat with Danny, Kirsch and Betty, with her girlfriend’s arm around her the whole time, and she felt like a traitor. At first she didn’t join in any conversation, but then Danny would do nothing but look at her with concern. So Laura put on a happy face, taking part and trying to see normal. But judging from Danny’s increasingly worried glances, Laura thought she maybe had been overdoing it a bit.

By the time Wednesday rolled around, and Laura hadn’t caught a single glimpse of Carmilla in class or walking the hallways or elsewhere, Laura knew she needed answers. 

Laura hadn’t really had much to do with Will Karnstein since starting at Silas. Yes he was in one of her classes, but aside from the general teacher-student interactions Laura had mastered oh so well- yes, Laura knew she was being sarcastic- Laura hadn’t really ever spoken to him. All she knew was that he seemed to walk around the school as if he owned it, he had an ever growing posse of students who seemed to follow him around like they worshipped him, and that he an apparent revolving door of girlfriends. She had never really seen Will hang around with his sister, but desperate times called for desperate measures. So as her eleventh grade university level class was leaving, Laura called him back.

“Mr Karnstein, could you come back here for a moment?” She watched Will sigh and whisper something in the ear of his girlfriend of the week before giving her a peck on the cheek and walking over to Laura’s desk.

“Yes Miss Hollis? Is there anything wrong?” Will’s tone was perfectly polite, but he lifted one eyebrow slightly, as if daring her to challenge the principal’s son.

“Oh no, there’s nothing wrong, nothing like that. I was just wondering if there was anything wrong with your sister?”

Will chuckled derisively. “There’s plenty wrong with my sister,” he drawled. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

Laura flushed with righteous anger at the apparent distaste in his tone, but she managed to get a grip on it. “I just haven’t seen her in any classes this week. I wondered if you might know where she is.”

This time Will shrugged. “My lovely sister does this all the time. I wouldn’t let yourself worry about it too much. I certainly don’t.”

With that, Will turned and walked out of her classroom, leaving Laura to stand there alone. She knew Carmilla had relationship issues with her mother, the girl had confided in Laura that much. But Laura had thought that maybe there was hopefully some semblance of a brotherly sisterly bond between Will and Carmilla. But Will’s callous, nonchalant attitude proved Laura wrong. She collapsed into her chair with a sigh. More than ever now she wanted to see Carmilla. She wanted to apologize and hug the girl, pull her in close and tell her she wasn’t alone. But Laura had no idea where to find the girl. She had no idea where to start. And she had no idea if it was even her place to care anymore.

Friday night found Laura walking into Alchemy, replaying yet another horribly familiar scene. She had spent nearly thirty minutes pacing the sidewalk in front of the bar, walking back and forth and trying to gather her nerve. Eventually, she got her cowardice under enough control to walk through the front door, feeling like that in itself was becoming symbolic. Whenever she messed up with Carmilla, it was off to Alchemy, to corner the teen where she couldn’t get away.

It didn’t take too long for Laura to realize, however, that things were going to be very different from the last time. First, the bar wasn’t nearly as crowded. Secondly, even though there was a singer onstage, it wasn’t Carmilla. This one was very much a man, very country sounding, and very, very awful. Laura was about to turn around and walk right back out of the bar, but then she caught sight of Blake. The young man was staring at her from behind the bar, and Laura couldn’t tell for sure from the distance, but she thought he might have held anger in his gaze.

With a deep breath, Laura squared her shoulders and marched across the room to the tall counter. She had wanted answers. Now she had a way of getting them. It was just too bad she was now scared out of her mind to get said answers.

“What can I get for you, miss?” Blake asked, all professionalism, when Laura sat down on a barstool.

“I’m not here for a drink.”

“Well, this is a bar, miss. If you’re not looking for a drink, I’m not entirely sure what you’re doing here. We do have some food, I could grab you a menu if you wish.”

“I’m here to see Carmilla,” Laura tried. Blake put on a pretend puzzled look.

“Carmilla? I don’t think we have anyone working here with that name. We do have a Mircalla, but she won’t be back performing here until next weekend, so...” Blake trailed off and looked pointedly at Laura. She could tell he wanted her to leave.

“Blake,” Laura sighed. “I really need to see your cousin. I need to talk to her.”

There was no mistaking Blake’s look now. He was angry. “And why do you need to talk to her?”

“I need to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For...for so many things,” Laura just about whispered. She was starting to feel upset again, tears prickling her eyes.

“And this apology- is it for your benefit or Carmilla’s?”

“I...what?” Laura was taken aback.

“Look, I know I can’t protect my baby cousin from everything. But if I can at least try than I will. And Carmilla doesn’t need you digging into her past anymore than you already have. She doesn’t need you pretending to be her friend again before ditching her. If you don’t mean it, if you aren’t genuine, then you’ve got to leave her alone. I’ve picked her up from enough bars so drunk she can’t even remember her own name. I’ve come home to her crying on my couch more times than I can count.”

“Blake,” Laura tried, a tear running down her cheek. But he wouldn’t let her talk.

“I love that stupid, stubborn girl. And she’s been through more already in eighteen years than most people in their whole lives. She doesn’t deserve anything that’s happened to her. And all I want for her, more than anything, is to be happy. To find someone who makes her happy. And I thought it could be you. But so far all you’ve down is made my Kitty cry. So until you can prove to me that you actually care about Carmilla’s happiness and not just about making yourself feel better, I’m not gonna let you hurt her again.”

Laura left the bar feeling very low, tears running down her face. The worst of it was that she knew Blake had a very good point. Laura didn’t really know what her endgame was. She knew she wanted to, had to, apologize to Carmilla...but then what? It wasn’t like Carmilla’s feelings would just resolve themselves overnight. It wasn’t as if Laura had sorted out her own feelings yet. Or maybe she had, but even so she was not near ready to admit them.

What were her intentions? Laura couldn’t even figure that out. After apologizing to Carmilla, everything became rather murky. Laura told herself she wanted to be friends with the teen, but that sounded wrong. For some reason- surely a reason having to do with professional boundaries- being Carmilla’s friend made her stomach twist in knots. So then what? A confidant? Someone for Carmilla to have in her corner to talk to when she needed it? That, too, didn’t sit well with Laura. And more to the point, what good had Laura been as a confidant to Carmilla up to then? She could see Blake’s reasoning that she was digging for no good reason. 

There was another possible progression floating around in the back of her mind, but Laura wouldn’t entertain it, not even for a second. She blocked it from being anything more than a subconscious musing. It was not happening. It could not happen. And Laura didn’t want it to happen. So she told herself.

After spending another night tossing and turning, unable to get to sleep, Laura knew things had to change. She had to talk to someone to try and sort out her very confused feelings. And there wasn’t anybody in the world she would rather talk to than her dad. Annoyingly overprotective as he may have been, James Hollis had also never let Laura down. If there was anyone who could help un-muddle her mind, it was her dad.

“Hollis residence, James Hollis speaking.” Laura was so happy to hear his voice she couldn’t speak for a moment. She was overwhelmed. “Hello? Is anyone there?”

“Hi dad, it’s me,” Laura finally got out.

“Laura! Hi kiddo! It’s good to hear from you. You’re calling awfully early though, is everything alright?”

Laura pulled her phone away from her ear for a second to quickly check the time. She hadn’t realized it wasn’t even six in the morning yet. No wonder her dad was concerned. For Laura to be up before six on a Saturday morning, the world had to be ending, or just about.

“Oh no. I mean yeah...everything’s fine. I just...I just wanted to talk to you. I miss you,” Laura whispered. And it was true. While she loved her adult freedom, she missed having her dad around as a sounding board. Especially right then.

“I miss you too, sweetheart. Are you sure everything’s okay? You sound a little bit down.”

Laura sniffled. His worry, once suffocating, now felt like exactly what she needed. “Things are just...I’m just having one of those days dad. Just have some things on my mind I’d like to get rid of. Distract me?”

And James Hollis rose to the occasion wonderfully. He yapped her ear off about the rising crime rates in his neighbourhood- ‘honestly it makes the city look like a peaceful retirement complex’- and about the new neighbours three houses down- ‘they hosted a barbeque, and Laura, it was absolutely wonderful’. Her dad talked about Halloween, seemingly quite dismayed by the number of dark costumes he had seen. ‘Not a single reflective strip of fabric anywhere. What’s the matter with parents these days? Do they have no concept of basic safety measures?’ James talked and talked about everything and nothing for at least seven or eight minutes, and Laura sat the whole time with her phone pressed against her ear and a smile on her face. 

“And Mrs Kransky from across the street invited me to go on a Christmas cruise with her and, well, I mean you know I’ve fancied her for a while and I know she’s lonely since losing George but I said I couldn’t not be here with you on Christmas morning! Could you imagine not waking up in your bed upstairs and...”

“Wait,” Laura said, cutting him off as something registered. “Mrs Kransky invited you to go on a cruise with her?”

“Well yes, but...”

“And you said no?”

“Well, of course I did honey! The cruise is right over Christmas day! How could I possibly...”

“You should go,” Laura said.

“I should what?” James sounded rather confused.

“You should go,” Laura said again, more firmly this time.

”But what about you? And what about Christmas?”

“We can celebrate Christmas early, the week before or something.” Laura could hear her dad begin to protest, but she spoke over him. “Dad, you’ve been alone since mom died. And I know you haven’t really ever needed to find someone, but dad, you deserve to be happy. You made your whole life about taking care of me, and I love you for it. But now maybe it’s time for me to take care of you. So if this cruise with Mrs Kransky is something which could make you happy then...you should go.”

James was silent on the other end for a few moments. “Have I ever told you how much I love you kiddo?”

“I think I may have heard it once or twice,” Laura said dryly. They both knew full well James found a way to tell her or text her he loved her at least five days out of seven.

“Seriously Laura. I love you. You’ve grown into an amazing young woman. I’m so proud of you.”

Laura started to get choked up again. She wondered if her dad would be proud of her if he knew how she was currently treating her girlfriend and one of her students, respectively.

“I’ll think about the cruise, and talk to Mrs Kransky about it. Sound good?” Laura confirmed that yes, it did sound good. “Alright. Now back to you Laura Eileen. You sounded upset when I first answered the phone, don’t think I’ve forgotten about that.”

Laura stayed silent, not knowing how to start but wanting to just blurt everything out so badly. All her doubts, all her fears, all the many reasons she had for feeling so incredibly guilty. She wanted to talk to him about her insecurities about her relationship with Danny, and her unexplained need to get to bottom of Carmilla’s story. She wanted to tell him that she missed him, and mom. She had so much she wanted to talk with her dad about, but she had no idea where to start.

The silence lasted for more than a minute. Laura knew her dad was still there, quiet on the other end, waiting patiently for to speak. And then suddenly the dam broke.

“Dad I don’t know what to do...”

\---

Danny knew. The look on her face said it all. She let Laura into her apartment graciously enough, but Laura could tell her girlfriend knew exactly why she was there. They sat down on the couch, a respectable distance apart, and Danny looked at her like a kicked puppy. It didn’t help Laura’s guilt ridden soul any.

“So...” Danny started drily. “How are you going to do this?”

“I...what?”

“Which cliché breakup line are you going to use on me? I’ve had many of them used on me before, so good luck trying to find a new one.”

“Danny that’s not...” Laura trailed off, worrying her bottom lip. Truthfully, Laura hadn’t made the trip to see her girlfriend with a plan more complex than simply breaking up as the end result. She hadn’t decided how she was going to do it or what she was going to say, just that she was going to try to let Danny down as gently as possible. But now Danny had thrown her completely for a loop.

“Oh come on, Laura, don’t leave me in suspense.” Danny now looked like someone readying for a fight. When Laura didn’t respond, Danny continued. “Here, why don’t I take a guess. It’s going to be the whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me line, isn’t it?”

Laura flushed angrily. How could Danny be so flippant about something like this? Didn’t she realize this was tough enough on Laura to begin with? Didn’t she realize that there might be other people hurting and not just her?

“Actually no, Danny, it’s you! It’s you! It’s you and your...your stupid...righteousness! And your perfection! All the flipping time! It’s you!”

Silence. Laura could tell Danny was stunned by her mini outburst, and quite frankly, so was Laura. She hadn’t expected that from herself, and while she felt like a rather horrible person, she also felt kind of oddly proud of herself.

“Laura...”

“No, Danny, please don’t.” Laura wanted to ease the hurt, but she also needed to get her point across. She refused to be derailed. “You’re a wonderful person and a wonderful girlfriend, but...it’s just too much! You’re overprotective and overbearing and honestly it’s just...overwhelming!”

“But Laura,” Danny sounded small, “I just wanted everything to perfect. I wanted to be perfect for you and keep you safe and happy.”

“Danny, relationships aren’t supposed to be perfect. And you don’t have to keep me safe.”

“Yes I do, I have to!”

“That’s not your job Danny! I have a very overprotective dad for that!” Laura took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Danny more than she absolutely had to. “Look, you’re a great person. And I wish things could end better. But the constant texts asking where I am and the nagging to move because my apartment isn’t safe and...I just...I don’t want to date my dad, Danny.”

Danny sighed, running a hand through her hair. A few tears ran down her cheeks. She looked sad and broken but also maybe understanding too. 

“I think I knew it. I think I realized it was all way too much, but I just couldn’t help it. I care about you Laura.” Danny’s voice broke. “I care about you so much, but I guess couldn’t show it in the right way. All I wanted to do was be everything for you.”

“And Danny, someday you’re going to make someone incredibly happy. You’re going to find someone who will love how protective you are. You’re going to make them feel safe and like they’re your world. I’m just not that person. This all has to do with me, not you.”

Danny smiled a watery, wavering smile. “I knew you were going to use that line.”

Laura chuckled slightly. “Well I was an English major. Cliché’s are kind of my thing.”

They talked for a while longer, sorting through loose ends and messy emotions. They resolved that they would try their best to remain friends, though Danny admitted she thought it would take her a while. Laura left Danny’s apartment with a lingering kiss pressed to her temple and feeling far too much like an adult. Unfortunately, her late Saturday afternoon was far from over.

After a quick stop back at her apartment to check in on Molson, Laura walked through the doors of Alchemy for the second time in as many days. She tried to square her shoulders and look like she meant business, but knew it was most likely useless. After having not slept for more than a couple hours per night for a week and breaking up with her girlfriend, Laura knew she likely looked like a giant mess. But she had one more obstacle left to tackle, and she wasn’t about to let anything stop her.

“Back again so soon?” Blake asked with a smile, throwing Laura for a complete loop. She had expected open hostility.

“Uh...not to sound rude, but aren’t you the same person who practically threatened me with disembowelment yesterday?”

“Look, not many people pass the Carmilla test,” Blake said, spreading his hands wide. “But even fewer pass the cousin test. Congratulations.” He winked at Laura, who wrinkled her nose.

“What was the cousin test exactly? Making me feel like a complete and raging...bad person? Scaring the crap out of me?”

“The cousin test,” Blake started explaining, grinning widely, “is seeing if you’d try again. And here you are. And you look like shit, too. So I guess you probably spent a pretty good deal of time thinking things through, eh?”

“Among other things,” Laura muttered quietly. Pangs of sadness over Danny were still stabbing at her heart, but she pushed them away. She could wallow again later. Right then, she needed to make amends. “So does passing the cousin test come with some sort of reward?”

“Absolutely!” Blake reached into his back pocket and dug out a set of keys. He slid them across the counter to Laura.

“Wow, I had no idea the prize was a new car. I should take tests more often!”

“Don’t be sarcastic my little cosmo-drinking munchkin. Those are the keys to my car- which will remain my car- which you can use to go see my stubborn cousin. The GPS in there is programmed to my place. Just follow it along.”

Laura looked from the keys to Blake and back again, considering. She wasn’t entirely convinced it was a good idea for her to go marching straight into the lion’s den, no matter how enticing the offer may have been. She hadn’t seen Carmilla for more than a week, the last words she spoke to the teen were less than unfriendly, and she didn’t have the greatest track record in general when it came to Carmilla. The mere prospect of seeing her, however, was quite appealing.

“Is there a part two to this prize? Like something along the lines of a how-to-deal-with-an-angry-Carmilla handbook?”

Blake rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Don’t bullshit her. Just be straight with her. If you can be friends with her, be friends with her. If you can’t- for whatever reason- then just tell her. No more mixed signals.”

Laura was being gradually swayed, but fought it for what it was worth. “And what about your car? How are you going to get home?”

“I’ll crash on a buddy’s couch tonight. Catch a ride home in the morning.” Blake shrugged. “Not a big deal.”

It took a little more convincing, but only on the outside. Laura was already determined, but having Blake both pep talk her and call her a tiny chicken repeatedly definitely pumped her up a little bit. She left the bar and got into Blake’s car feeling excited. The prospect of finally taking action instead of just sitting around and self-pitying herself was exhilarating. However, so was the idea of seeing Carmilla again. Just picturing Carmilla’s face in her mind sent thrills of excitement through Laura. To actually get to see her in person...Laura was grinning like she usually did only on Christmas morning.

Laura’s excitement only grew as the GPS counted down the kilometres to her destination. It made no sense. Laura had been upset for a week and just broken up with her girlfriend, but she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. She was going to see Carmilla again. She was going to see Carmilla and they were going to talk and Laura was going to fix everything. Laura was going to follow her dad’s advice and everything was going to end happily ever after.

The adrenaline rush lasted until Laura had the key turned in the lock to Blake’s condo. The lock clicked as it gave and Laura pushed the door open, still grinning. It wasn’t until she closed the door behind her and she heard the sound of footsteps on a hardwood floor that Laura froze. The smile slid off her face quickly. The footsteps came closer. Suddenly Laura was terrified. She wanted to run.

“Blake?” The voice came from the other side of a doorway off to Laura’s right, and it sounded both like heaven and hell at the same time. “What are you doing home so early? I swear to god if you got in another fight with a goddamn customer I’ll...”

Carmilla trailed off. Carmilla trailed off because she had passed through the doorway into the entrance way and saw Laura. Carmilla froze, staring at Laura with a blank expression.

Laura ginned weakly. “Hi Carmilla.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boom. Not for the crappy cliffhanger but for the fact I actually updated when I said I would. Boom. Biweekly updates??
> 
> So yeah, no Hollstein in this chapter. But Laura needed to reevaluate things. To make up for it...next chapter is 99% Hollstein. Yup. Book it. 
> 
> I'll trade you chocolate for kudos. Yup. For reals.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!!!!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which all the feels happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up: mentions of a minor character death.

Laura ginned weakly. “Hi Carmilla.”

There had been silence for at least a minute. Probably it had been longer. Laura was starting to sweat with anxiety. Carmilla just continued to stare at her, and her expression was unreadable. Laura thought there was probably anger in Carmilla’s gaze, but it could have just as easily been sadness or contempt or confusion. Laura just couldn’t tell.

Carmilla looked different than Laura had ever seen her looking at school. A pair of baggy grey sweatpants hung low on her hips, not quite meeting the bottom edge of her white t-shirt. A small sliver of skin was available for Laura to see, and she had to force herself multiple times not to get sidetracked from her mission and start staring. Carmilla’s hair was partially up in a messy bun, and she looked tired. Carmilla looked downright devastatingly beautiful, but she also looked tired and it tugged at Laura’s heartstrings.

“I think you’ve got the wrong house there, Teach,” Carmilla said finally, breaking the terse silence. Her tone, just like her expression, conveyed no emotion.

“Uh yeah,” Laura started meekly. “I mean no. I mean...Blake told me to come here.”

Carmilla’s only response to that was to roll her eyes. “Of course he did,” she muttered under her breath. Her next words were louder, directed to Laura. “Well, it’s his place, so I can’t really kick you out. But don’t be expecting any warm hospitality crap from me, Cupcake.”

Laura couldn’t help but smile. Even after the less than friendly words, even as Carmilla was turning her back on Laura and walking away, Laura still couldn’t help but smile at Carmilla’s form of endearment. She hadn’t heard that stupid nickname in over a week, and she had missed it. She had missed it much more than she thought she had.

Not wanting to let Carmilla get away, even if no invitation had officially been offered, Laura scrambled after the teen. She followed Carmilla into a living room messier than her own, which made her oddly proud. A nest of blankets and a pillow rested on the couch, and Laura realized with a pang this was likely where Carmilla had been sleeping over the past week. She wanted to know what had happened to make the girl not feel able to go back to her house, but she didn’t think it was her place. Not until she made things right, at least.

“Yeah, sure, come on in Sweetheart,” Carmilla said sarcastically after spying Laura over her shoulder. With a sigh, Carmilla flopped down onto the couch, putting her feet up on a coffee table covered with empty glasses and old magazines.

“Blake told me to come here,” Laura said again, this time defensively. “I came to apologize to you.”

Casually, Carmilla picked up a remote and flicked on the TV. Laura hadn’t even noticed it in the corner of the room. Her eyes seemed to want to glue themselves to Carmilla, and only Carmilla.

“Carmilla...”

“Look Teach, I’ve heard it all before and I’m not interested. You seem to forget that my dad spent half a year wasting empty and fake apologies on me. I don’t need any more of them.” Carmilla’s voice cracked slightly. “If that’s all you want then just go.”

Slowly and cautiously, Laura went to sit down on the couch, far from Carmilla on the opposite end, moving a pillow out of the way as she did. “I’m not here to lie to you Carmilla. This time it’s real.”

“I don’t believe you.” The words were childish, and Laura would have chided them so, but she could hear the pain behind the words. Carmilla was no longer unreadable. She was hurting, and it hurt Laura to see her like that.

“Carmilla...” Laura tried again, but Carmilla cut her off once more.

“Stop! I’ve heard this before! It’s always the same old song and dance. Even from you...you apologize and then two seconds later something goes wrong and it’s my fault. It’s always my fault.” Laura wanted to jump in and say something, but she found she couldn’t say a word. “It’s my fault my dad loved me most. It’s my fault he died, causing him so much stress he cracked.” Carmilla was crying now, with big, ugly sobs which broke Laura’s heart. “It’s my fault I’m a lesbian and not normal. It’s my fault you could lose your freaking job and basically cheated on your girlfriend. It’s my fault that Ell...I can’t...it’s just...” Carmilla couldn’t carry on, her sobs overtaking her.

Laura did the only thing she could think of doing, the only thing which made sense to her right then and there. She was across the couch, closing the space between them in a heartbeat. She cupped Carmilla’s face in her hands. Laura kissed Carmilla. She kissed those lush, salty, kissable lips without thinking of the consequences. Carmilla stiffened, caught off guard. But then her lips softened into Laura’s own and Laura was back in the dugout at Styria, experiencing the most glorious half minute of her life.

Laura wondered two things as they kissed. She wondered if she would ever get to kiss Carmilla when the girl wasn’t crying. And she wondered if every kiss they would ever share would be just as perfect.

It was Carmilla who pulled away first, looking both shocked and scared with her dark eyes blown wide and her tearstained cheeks. Carmilla looked up at Laura, terrified. She started to back away, looking like she wanted to run. But Laura pulled her back in close. She pressed her lips softly against Carmilla’s once more. Then she kissed Carmilla’s cheek, tasting her tears. Then her nose. Laura placed soft kisses everywhere she could, and gradually Carmilla settled into her embrace. Carmilla was still crying, but it was softer now. Laura held her, one hand stroking across her back, the other tangled in Carmilla’s hair. She kept pressing kisses to the top of Carmilla’s head, in between whispering to her that everything was okay, that Laura was there and she wasn’t going to leave.

Five minutes passed, then ten. Carmilla finally stopped crying a little over fifteen minutes later, but she stayed folded into Laura’s arms, her face buried in Laura’s neck. They stayed like that for a while longer, and Laura eventually lost track of the time. She was deliriously happy and at the same time felt incredibly awful for the girl she held in her arms.

“Why?”

Laura almost didn’t catch the single spoken word. Carmilla’s voice was soft and hoarse sounding. “Sorry?”

“Why?” Carmilla pulled out of the embrace to sit up and face Laura. Laura felt the loss immediately. “Why now? Why should I believe you now? What’s going to make me know that you won’t go running off to your beanstalk girlfriend again?”

Laura grimaced at the title. “I broke up with her. Danny. I broke up with Danny.”

For a split second, Laura thought she spied a faint smile flit across Carmilla’s lips, but a moment later she told herself she must have imagined it. Carmilla regarded her warily, her eyes red and bloodshot, her hair a mess.

“Why did you break up with her?” Carmilla asked.

“I realized my heart wasn’t in it,” Laura replied truthfully. “I realized Danny could never be more than just a friend to me, and it wasn’t fair to string her along. So I ended things.”

“So that kiss...am I just a rebound now? A way to make you forget the fact you’re single now?”

Laura was taken aback by the sudden anger in Carmilla’s tone. “What? No I...Carmilla! Of course not! You mean so much more to me than that. You mean so much more to me than I ever realized before and it’s terrifying. I think that’s why I kept lashing out. Not that it makes it any better, I know there’s no excuse, but I think a part of me realized that I care for you more than I should.”

Carmilla brayed out a bitter laugh. “Yeah I can so tell that you care,” she said, and Laura could hear the blatant, heavy sarcasm in her tone. “Maybe it’s your way with words. Or the way you always make me feel like nothing.”

This time it was Laura who teetered on the verge of tears. “Carmilla I’m so sorry...”

“I don’t want your apologies!” Carmilla ran a hand through her already tangled hair. “I want to know why I should believe you. What made you change your mind about me? What proof do I have that this isn’t just some ploy to make yourself feel better and you won’t turn around and make me feel like crap five minutes from now?”

What started off as anger from Carmilla had quickly become something else. Laura could hear it in her tone, her voice cracking with insecurity and doubts. Laura knew her admissions had to seem fake, like Laura was just pretending. So started speaking from the heart, pouring her honesty into the words. She flashed back to the conversation she had with her dad the day previous, smiling in spite of how awful she felt for Carmilla.

\---

“There’s also this girl and she’s just...oh gosh dad she’s infuriating! She thinks she’s so amazing- I mean sure she’s gorgeous and incredibly talented and ugh- but she’s just so self absorbed! She’s late for everything, and disrespectful. So disrespectful. And her nicknames- you know she hasn’t once called me by my actual name? It’s always ‘Cupcake’ this or ‘Sweetheart’ that and it is so annoying! And then the way she talks...it’s inappropriate. I mean, I’m in a relationship and every single word out of her mouth is smirky and flirty and it’s just so frustrating and I just want to...”

“So how long have you liked this girl for then, Laura?” 

Laura sat in semi stunned silence after her dad cut her off. “Um...what? Have I not just explained every single reason why she’s incessantly annoying and hostile?”

“And you also called her gorgeous.”

James had a bit of a point with that one, but Laura was far too stubborn to concede defeat with one minor little argument. “I’m sure there’s somebody in the world who thinks a boa constrictor is gorgeous.”

“Laura,” James said flatly on the other end. “I raised you for twenty-three years of your life. I know you.”

“Dad, I swear she’s just really annoying and there’s nothing else...”

“Remember when you were five and you spent all your time complaining about Jenny Swanson from across the street? How you hated everything about her? You hated her bouncy pigtails and her fancy, expensive clothes and how she always had the newest, best toys?”

“I hardly think that Jenny Swanson has anything to do with...”

“You claimed you hated Jenny Swanson,” James said, talking over Laura’s grumpy protest. “But when you got an invitation to her birthday party you didn’t stop smiling or laughing for about a week. And then you two became best friends. And when she moved away that summer you cried yourself to sleep for days.”

“Okay,” Laura conceded. “That’s one example, but...”

“Remember Bob Long?” her dad asked abruptly.

“Of course I remember Bobby, we’ve been friends practically our whole lives! I should probably call him more often, we haven’t spoken regularly since he started going to school in Australia but...”

“Do you remember how you loathed Bob when you started going to real school for third grade?” James asked, cutting Laura off once again. “He always tugged at your braid and he broke the toilet paper and shoebox castle we made together for your first school project. And apparently he messed up your audition for the Three Little Pigs play when he showed you his Pokémon card collection right beforehand and you got jealous.”

“Dad...”

“Laura the two of you were thick as thieves by Christmas. Pretty much the only friend you ever had until you moved away just a few months ago. And then he got his kitten. Laura, you hated that thing more than you hated Bob initially. You were convinced it was going to steal away your only friend and you hated it with a vengeance...for about a week. Then you loved it more than anything else in the world. You begged me to bring it home and babysit pretty much every other day.”

“Okay,” Laura sighed. “What’s your point? I’m sure you’ve got a point in there somewhere.”

“My point, Laura Eileen,” her dad said, chuckling, “is that you are stubborn. And almost every single thing you’ve claimed to ‘hate’ in your life you actually, secretly adore. If you don’t really like this mystery girl- whoever she may be- than I’ll eat my authentic Indiana Jones fedora. And you know I love that fedora.”

Laura knew her dad made a good point, but like he said, she was stubborn. She wasn’t going to give up so easily. “But dad, honestly she’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met. You have to believe me.”

“I believe you,” James said, still laughing. “But you need to believe me when I tell you that I’ve never heard anyone call anyone annoying and infuriating with so much adoration in their voice. So you need to quit leading Danny on and apologize to this mystery girl, because whoever she is I’m sure you’ve scared her half to death with your insistence that she’s got to shape up.”

\---

“Carmilla, you’ve got to believe me. It never crossed my mind that I might have feelings for you until I talked to my dad. All I knew was that you scared me, but I never knew why. I do now though. Carm, you scare me because these feelings are strong and I’ve never felt them before. You scare me because you could ruin everything, and you don’t even realize you have that power. It doesn’t excuse anything, and I know that. But I am so sorry for most of the things I’ve said and insinuated. You didn’t deserve any of that.”

Carmilla didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at Laura. Laura didn’t panic though. Carmilla looked more contemplative than anything. She was staring down at her hands, silent. Laura tried to wait it out patiently, but she was still fidgeting. She wanted desperately to know if Carmilla believed her, and- more importantly- if Carmilla forgave her.

“Carmilla...”

“You know, Cutie,” Carmilla spoke over her. “I was attracted to you from the second I saw you. The way you whirled around ready to give me hell before you froze and looked at me like...like I was everything. And then that hilarious, bunched up face you make when you’re angry...you’re adorable.”

Laura tried to frown, but she was smiling. To hear Carmilla talk about her like that, all complimentary and genuine, made Laura feel very warm inside. 

“I thought that’s all it was,” Carmilla continued. “I thought it was just attraction. But it’s so much more. You talk about having the power to ruin everything...” Carmilla looked up, finally meeting Laura’s eyes. She looked fearfully honest. “You do too, Teach. You make me forget about everything else and make me feel things I haven’t felt since...”

“Since what, Carm?”

Carmilla just stared at Laura, gazing at her intently. She seemed to be studying Laura, judging her. 

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking for your trust,” Laura whispered. “I want to know you Carmilla.” She tentatively reached out and ran her fingers through some of the escaped hair from Carmilla’s bun, brushing it behind her ear. She let her touch linger, caressing Carmilla’s cheek. “I want to help you, and I want to know you. I want to know everything about you, and I never want to hurt you again.”

Carmilla didn’t speak for a while. Then she reached up and took Laura’s hand in her own, intertwining their fingers. She brought their clasped hands down to her lap, gripping Laura’s tightly. Laura scooted impossibly closer, placing her other hand on Carmilla’s thigh, stroking gently.

“I was in love once before,” Carmilla started. “Her name was Ell. She went to a private school across town, and at first mother was thrilled that I was making the ‘right’ friends, friends in high places. Then she caught wind of the...nature of our relationship and things turned ugly quick.”

Carmilla sighed. It was a heavy sigh, filled with emotion. “I never exactly made a secret of my preference for girls, and mother always hated it. Oh she was accepting enough for her public image- heaven forbid she be labelled a bigot- but behind closed doors...it’s tough living with a homophobic parent. But add to that the fact that she hated me because she blamed my dad’s death on me...it was horrible. I hated living with her...still do.

“Ell and I always talked about getting away. We dreamed of moving to LA and becoming a power couple. Me, the famous musician and her, the breathtaking actress. We dreamed of getting away and having our happily ever after. And one day when things got too intense with my mother I just snapped. I decided I wanted out, right then and there, and Ell wanted to come with me. She had an older brother who lived in New York. It wasn’t LA, but it still had the glamour and we were young and thought we were untouchable. So we packed up our stuff and left in the middle of the night, taking an overnight bus to Grand Central where he picked us up. And for a while it was great.

“Ell’s brother had been cut off by their parents, and they hadn’t spoken in years. So he was happy enough to take us in, and happy enough to lie to Ell’s parents when they called desperately looking for her a week later. We were happy enough to spend our days roaming the streets of the city. I played my guitar in Times Square every now and then, picking up enough money to help pay Ell’s brother back for some of our food and stuff. It was the perfect life.”

Carmilla broke off, sighing again. Laura squeezed her thigh consolingly. She had no idea what came next, but she could tell from Carmilla’s expression this story didn’t have a happy ending.

“I was happy. I was free. But Ell missed her parents, I could tell. We never talked about it, but I could tell. So I stupidly wrote Will a letter, thinking he could talk to Ell’s parents for me, let them know that she was safe and happy. But I underestimated what a mommy’s boy he was. He showed the letter to my mother. I didn’t put a return address on it, I don’t know how she did it...but somehow she found out where we were staying. Mother didn’t come to collect us. No, she’d never do the actual dirty work. But she told Ell’s parents and one day I opened the apartment door and came face to face with her dad.”

Carmilla was crying again, silently tears making their way down her face. Laura gently wiped them away with her free hand, her other still grasping Carmilla’s own.

“If it would have been my mother it would have been easy for us to resist. But Ell still loved her dad, and seeing him there after how much she had been missing him...he took her away. He took her to a fancy hotel for the night- trying to show her everything I couldn’t give her, I’m sure- and then they were going to board a plane in the morning. I called my mother. She confessed to telling Ell’s dad exactly where we were. I unloaded on her. I yelled and yelled at her. I don’t know if she’s somehow responsible for what happened next or...I could see her contacting Ell, twisting words, making her think...something. I don’t want to believe even my mother could be that awful though.

“Ell snuck away in the middle of the night. She waited until her dad was asleep and then came back to see me. But she never made it. It was a drunk driver. I found out the next morning, when her dad showed up again, crying uncontrollably and yelling at me that it was all my fault, that if it wasn’t for me Ell never would’ve been in New York, never would’ve been out in the middle night, never would’ve been in the path of a drunk driver.”

Laura was crying along with Carmilla now. Carmilla’s grip on her hand was almost painfully tight, but Laura didn’t say anything. She just sat there, pressed into Carmilla’s side, trying to comfort the girl with her mere presence.

“Nobody knows the whole story. Eventually I returned to Canada with my tail tucked between my legs and my guilt unbearable. My mother was happy enough to take me back in, to fill my days with endless lectures about living a proper lifestyle and the comeuppance for our sins and how I was cursed, ruining the life of anyone I loved...”

Laura gasped, and before she knew it she was talking, practically yelling, not able to stay silent any longer. “Carmilla, that’s not true! You are so special, you aren’t cursed! That loathsome woman, that evil hag just the fact that she could say those words! You better not believe it for a second Carmilla, you are the most amazing person I’ve met and...”

Laura was cut off by Carmilla’s lips. It was a quick kiss, and it shut Laura up quickly. She almost whimpered when Carmilla pulled away all too soon.

“Careful Teach,” Carmilla said, breathing heavily and giving her a half smile. “You keep talking like that and you might never be able to get rid of me ever again.”

“Good,” Laura returned, only half joking. “Seriously though, Carmilla...all this guilt you’ve been carrying around about your father and Ell- you don’t believe it do you?”

Carmilla shrugged. She looked away from Laura, casting her eyes downward towards the floor. “It’s hard not to sometimes. Most of the time I just feel angry and bitter at everything and everyone. It feels better than the guilt and sadness. But it’s always there. I can always feel it hiding, ready to take control of my thoughts. The only times I ever don’t feel guilty or sad happen when I’m with you.”

Laura smiled despite the heaviness of the situation. And then she frowned, realizing that those times she had been awful to Carmilla would have been times she ruining Carmilla’s respite. 

A pair of hands, both rough and soft at the same time, gripped Laura’s face gently. Carmilla forced Laura to look at her, her touch gentle yet firm.

“Do you get it now, Laura?” The use of her real name made Laura jolt. “You say I scare you and I have power over you- you do the exact same for me. After Ell I didn’t think I’d ever be able to start falling for somebody else even years later yet alone months. If my mother ever found out it would be disaster on so many levels...but I don’t care. You scare me, but I still want you. You hurt me, but I still want to forgive you. And if you walk away again...I don’t think I could take it.”

Laura shook her head. She wanted to tell Carmilla that she had no plans of walking away. She wanted to tell Carmilla that she’d keep working for forgiveness and earn her trust. But Laura found she couldn’t form the words and, well, she didn’t have the best track record when it came to Carmilla and words as it was.

So instead of speaking, Laura found herself surging forward, wrapping her arms around Carmilla’s shoulders and connecting their lips desperately. She felt Carmilla’s hands tangle themselves in her hair. When their tongues met for the first time Laura thought she might die right then and there. The kiss was passionate and filled with desperation, but there was also a tenderness there. Laura felt it in Carmilla’s embrace, in the way Carmilla held her closer than she would’ve thought possible.

Somehow Laura ended up straddling Carmilla on the couch. Carmilla’s hands slipped lower as they kissed. It wasn’t until Carmilla’s fingers started toying with the hem of her sweatshirt that Laura managed to find the willpower to break their kiss. She pulled back, breathing heavily. 

Carmilla was beneath her, eyes fluttering closed, hair even wilder than before. Laura thought she had never looked more beautiful. There was a small smile breaking out at the corners of Carmilla’s lips, and Laura couldn’t resist leaning down and connecting their lips once more, briefly. She rested her forehead against Carmilla’s, their noses brushing together.

“Carmilla,” Laura started, breathless. “As much as I love kissing you, you know we can’t do this yet. Right?”

She expected Carmilla to react violently, to pull away and start yelling at her, but instead Carmilla just smiled lazily. “I know, Teach. Can’t have you losing your job. After all, you’re my favourite teacher.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Carmilla let herself slide down the arm of the couch, upon which she had been resting, to lie fully flat, pulling Laura with her. They manoeuvred so they were side by side, facing each other. Carmilla took Laura’s hands in her own, pulling them up so their hands rested between them. They were so close. Laura could feel Carmilla’s heart beating in her chest as she looked up at Laura seriously.

“I’m not. It’s gonna kill me, waiting,” Carmilla admitted. She sighed. “But we have to. I was reckless before, but you’re not gonna lose your job ‘cause of me. I won’t let it happen. And to be honest, as much as I like you as much as I want to spend every moment with you...I don’t know if I’m ready for this yet, after Ell.”

Laura nodded. “Carmilla, what happened to Ell was horrible. It wasn’t your fault, but that doesn’t change the fact that it was absolutely awful. Neither of you deserved that. And I’ll be here for you. Maybe we can’t be...anything more until you graduate. But I’m not going to walk away again. I’ll be your friend. You can talk to me about anything, anytime you want.”

Carmilla smiled. It lit up her whole face. “You gotta stop saying sweet things like that if you want us to remain just friends for the next seven months.”

Laura groaned. “Is that really how long it is?”

“Gonna go find yourself some cute plaything in the interim, Cupcake?” The words themselves were a joke, but Laura could hear the sincerity of the question. It wasn’t really a joke to Carmilla, and it wasn’t a joke to Laura either.

“No way Carm,” she said, shaking her head vehemently. “I still need to earn your trust back, and I realize that. Okay, maybe I’d prefer two months to seven, but...I’ll wait. I feel like I’ve already waited almost twenty-four years just to find you. What’s another seven months?”

“Good.” Carmilla brought their lips together once more. When she pulled away, Laura could see how exhausted she was. Happy, but deeply exhausted.

“You should get some sleep,” Laura said. She tensed to roll off the couch, to stand up and give Carmilla some space. But then Carmilla tightened her grip, eyes widening.

“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave.”

“Carmilla...”

“Please,” Carmilla begged. “This past week has been...my mother just brought back so many memories of Ell and Blake’s tried to help but it’s been...I haven’t been sleeping well. The nightmares...please Laura. Stay.”

Laura nodded. “Okay Carm. I’m not going anywhere.”

Laura shifted, sitting up briefly to grab one of the forgotten blankets bunched up at their feet, pulling it over them both. When she settled back down, she did so on her back, pulling an already fading Carmilla partially on top of her. Carmilla settled into Laura’s embrace, eyes still closed but a smile gracing her features.

Laura kissed the top of Carmilla’s head, holding her firm. The day had been an emotional rollercoaster for them both, and maybe it was absolutely ridiculous, but Laura was hard-pressed to think of a moment when she had ever felt more content. She thought ahead to the next several months. She hadn’t been lying to Carmilla; she was ready to wait. Somehow, Laura knew waiting would be well worth it. All of the potential problems- their age difference, Laura’s dad finding out her mystery girl was a student, Carmilla’s mother learning of their feelings- seemed to fade as Laura started to drift off. Nothing seemed that bad.

As Laura drifted off with a sleeping Carmilla in her arms, she smiled. She could be friends with Carmilla Karnstein for the next several months. And after that...well after that, the possibilities were endless, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Carmilla and Laura made the adult decision to just be friends...when they'll see each other every single day...we'll see how long that lasts. Thanks for sticking with me through the feels, now the fun begins ;)
> 
> This three day early update is brought to you by my excitement for the Carmilla movie, my fascinated dread for the final act, and my total elation at my beloved Blue Jays making it to the ALCS. I was very emotional and couldn't do anything but write.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter, hopefully you'll get the next one in 10-14 days assuming the final act or the intensity of October baseball don't kill me first.

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing except for my mistakes and my imagination. Haven't posted any of my work in years, hopefully the rust isn't too noticeable.


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